What's Cheez Whiz Got Ta Do, Got Ta Do With It?

What’s Spam, but a pork product inna can? Not that this has anything to do with Spam, but the song just kept going, so i put it here. As a service to you, the reader. You’re welcome.

So I do most of the grocery shopping here at the Casa DeDay. Me an’ Katcha actually. Right after we wave goodbye to Soupo when he gets on the school bus we motor off to our favorite grocery store. Not like everyday, but once every couple of weeks. Of course I always stick right to my list. I mean, why even take a list if you’re not going to stick to it? That way lies anarchy. Or at least some really weird meals. So I make a list and do the grocery shopping and everybody’s happy. Only this last time, I went Off List. (Gasp!)

Every once in a while, we take a break from yelling at the boys (Clean up your room! Quit fighting with your brother! Don’t duct tape the dogs to the wall!) and talk to each other. It seems when she was growing up, the Little Woman was exposed to Cheez Whiz at an early age. Which just might explain a few things. But, as it happens, my grocery store (like so many) carries Cheez Whiz. Being the Thoughtful Husband I am, I got her a jar of the stuff.

You know what Cheez Whiz is good for? I’ll tell you. You microwave a glob of it til it’s all oozy and then you pour them over French fries. I think this is even Atkins Approved, so anyone can try it. You should try it yourself. Right now. Unless you don’t have a microwave, a jar of Cheez Whiz and a pile of French fries on hand. Then you should collect all the ingredients as soon as possible and then try it.

I don’t know what you’ll do with the rest of the jar of Cheez Whiz, but if you come up with something, let me know.

Hey, and speaking of Spam (yeah I did, you’re just blocking the memory), you know they have little cans of Spam now? Like half the size of regular cans of Spam. Little Baby Spams. Well, if you get a little Baby Spam (unless you eat a lot of Spam or there’s someone else around that will eat it with you, then you don’t need Baby Spam, you could get regular Spam) and a small pack of King’s Hawaiian Sweetbread Rolls (they come in a pack of four) and a little mustard and some cheese (sharp cheddar for preference) you can make up a nice little sammich. Actually four little sammiches since the rolls come in a four-pack. It’s even better if you fry the Spam up some. Oh, and you’re supposed to slice some Spam off the loaf (should meat come in a “loaf”?) before you make the sammiches, unless you really like Spam.

But you know what? The sammich is oddly appropriate since you’re using the Hawaiian bread (in roll form) and Hawaiians eat more Spam per capita than anyone.

P.S. This really isn’t worth a whole thread to itself, but I thought I’d share. I just got a new pair of sneakers. The model name is “Herbert”. What. The. Hell? “Herbert” as a name for sneakers? Wingtips or something, I can see. But sneakers? Sheesh.

My girlfriend bought the Baby Spam the last time she went to the store, because she doesn’t like Spam, and if she got the regular one she might have to eat some of it. She’s nuts. Spam is versatile. You can fry it up for breakfast, or dice it up small for Spam salad sandwiches, or bait coyotes.

I’ve never actually tried Cheez Whiz, though. Kind of like Rue with lobster. It’s not that I don’t like it, I just never had.

Thanks, guys. I was hungry this morning. Until I read about Spam and Cheez Whiz. Now lobster for breakfast I can stomach, but I can just tolerate Spam and I’m a bit of a cheese snob (I can’t even stomach American cheese for the most part), so you can guess my feelings about processed cheese foods.

Now, as far as shopping, to me a list is just a guideline of what you’re actually out of, if you need a list at all. When I grocery shop all of the food in the store are potential ingredients for some wonderful feast, and it’s my job to help arrange and align those ingredients into said wonderful feast. Now if you bring the lil’uns along then you’re just asking to be sidetracked by sweetened cereals, Gogurt and tastycakes, but there’s really nothing wrong with that.

Nevermind, I don’t care. :smiley:

I’ve never eaten Spam, and I don’t know if I could. There’s something about meat from a can that’s unnerving. To me anyway. Except for tuna - I can eat tuna from a can, although I prefer fresh tuna steaks, grilled. Yum. I like ham very much, but not from a can, thank you.

As for CheezWhiz, I try to avoid simulated, artificial, processed cheese-food-like-substances. When I buy sliced cheese, it says “Cheese” without all the adjectival disclaimers. I’m a purist. Well, except I do like Velveeta in its original or generic state.

I don’t know what my sneakers are named, but I do have three identical pairs. Well, almost identical, The first white pair had the misfortune of being submerged in a sudden storm, so they’ll never be the same. I went to buy a replacement pair at the outlet mall, and saw that they had that model shoe in black as well as white, so I bought one of each. I wear the grubby original pair to do lawn mowing and other dirty jobs, and I wear the other two pairs for most everything else.

But at the moment I’m wearing slippers, because I’m home. I took a sick day. I didn’t sleep last night, for some reason. So I feel like a zombie, but I can’t let myself sleep or I won’t be able to sleep tonight. I’m going to do some mindless chores to keep myself awake. Or someone could call me and engage me in scintillating conversation.

Or not. Whatever. yawn

I haven’t have Cheese Whiz in years. Not that I don’t like it, I just haven’t thought to buy any. I used to smear it on crackers, maybe with a bit of sausage or, occasionally, peanut butter. A few years ago I seem to have developed a mild case of lactose intolerance and have to watch my dairy intake (a little cheese is fine, but if I eat an eight-ounce block in a single evening…well, let’s just say the consequences aren’t worth it). But now I’ve got a taste for Cheese Whiz. Damn you, Rue!

Spam…now Spam I like. I’ve got a few cans in the cabinet; I pick it up when it’s on sale for those times when I want a quick meal. I’ll have to try those sandwiches one of these days, if I can remember to pick up some Hawaiian rolls next time I go shopping.

Must eat Cheez Whiz over fries… must eat Cheez Whiz over fries…

Damn you, Rue!


We don’t “Cite” in the MMP’s. It’s just Not Done. We’re a Trusting Sort around here. It’s just The Way It Is.

Why would Ex want to eat me with lobster? That’s just weird. And I’ve been double damned today. Man, that sucks. Although maybe it’s like negative numbers. One negative is negative, but you double it up and it’s positive. It hink that’s the way it goes. So I’m Jake.

Spam, Cheez Whiz (sounds like somebody peed on fake cheese don’t it?) and lobster. Ick, Ick and Ick! Don’t like any of em. Just Ick!

My sneakers are named Reebok and Nike. I have yuppie designer name brand sneaks. Of course, I didn’t pay yuppie designer name brand prices for em cause I bought em at factory outlet stores. For somebody who hates shoppin’ I spend a lot of time in factory outlet stores. They’re fun! They’re cheap! The people are entertaining! And sometimes there’s a food court. A fine fine outing I tell ya.
-swampbear (All icked about the MMP)

Rue, yue know I love yue. But yue wrote about tue of the most disgusting foodstuffs on the planet. In the same post.

I don’t feel so good.


Hey, swampy, my sneaks are Reeboks, too, but they still have a model name, or a style name, or something. 'Cause it’s not like Reebok makes only a single style of shoe.

Sheesh, you’d think a gay guy would know about stuff like that. Pfffffft.

BLECH! Spam and Cheeze Whiz in the same thread!

I guess I am a snob, because both of those are just DISGUSTING and not fit for human consumption, much less animal consumption.

I don’t remember the name of my "neakers. They’re cool looking though :cool:

I think if you stir in some chili powder, you’ll end up with an approximation of nacho cheese.

The Cheese Whiz is also good over broccoli. Evidently, when I was just a small tool, I would only eat my broccoli if it was smothered in the fake, runny grossness that is Cheese Whiz. I haven’t had any in years, though.

You know what else is good (in a gross kind of way)? Take some cubed Velveeta, dump it in a bowl with some salsa, heat in the microwave, stir it up, and eat with chips. Yum. Other than that, I’m also something of a cheese snob…

That hurts Gazelle. “Tue of the most disgusting foodstuffs on the planet” and I didn’t even bring up escargots or sauerkraut juice. Or tofu and Clamato. There are waaaay worse stuff than Cheez Whiz and Spam.

Heh. Nice spelling too. It makes me feel closer to you, just with the reading.

Have you learned nothing from watching Queer Eye For The Straight Guy? (I mean besides just why do those alleged straight men like to hug the gay guys so much.) I am the over the top gay decorator, not the over the top gay fashion consultant. Do try to keep up. :smiley:

However, given the fact that this MMP is in need of a cuisine makeover, I say we need to call in the over the top gay foodie.

I don’t watch Queer Eye - in fact I don’t watch much TV at all. So don’t go getting all snooty with me. I shan’t stand for it!


Okay, is it just me, or has this MB gotten all weird in the last hour? This is a test post to see if this one gets through. Also, this is my third attempt to post to this thread.

Here’s hoping…

I like to buy my Cheez Whiz in the spray can because it more closely approximates the speed at which it’s gonna come out of me later. Plus, it’s much better for decorating cakes with and what good’s a cake without Cheez Whiz topping?

Go crazy with the Cheez Whiz.
[/Beck] Who, strangely, had nothing to say about Spam.

Don’t know my sneaker names either. Actually, they probably have two because I bought them at WalMart for real cheap. How cheap? So cheap that when I got them home and realized they didn’t match, that I had two different kinds of sneaker, one with a blue stripe and the other without, I didn’t even care. I had to promise my wife that I’d only wear them in the back yard.

“Don’t duct tape the dogs to the wall.” LOL Gee thanks, Rue. Now I will have the picture in my head the rest of the day.

Cheez Whiz is nasty, disgusting stuff. Poor artificial imitation cheese something-or-other. I was forced as a kidling to endure it, sure, but hey, I apparently had no taste in those days. shudder

Then I grew up. :wink:

Spam is good, on occasion, depending on how it’s fixed. I just might try it on Hawaiian rolls with sharp cheddar. It was a staple at our home most of the time I was growing up, well into high school. It did get old, though, so now it’s just occasionally found in our cupboard.

And what a nasty thing to do to broccoli! What did broccoli ever do to you, lightingtool? :slight_smile: Now, Velveeta on the other hand, is a staple in this house. Melt some down with the salsa of your choice, and you have great chili con queso to dip all sorts of goodies in. It is also far superior to any of those powdered cheeses one finds in cheese and mac boxed dinners. My kidlings won’t eat mac n cheese any other way. I also get to use whatever shape of noodles that strikes my fancy when I fix it. Throw in some chopped up hotdogs, and you have a fast, simple, good-tasting dinner that is very inexpensive. (Yes, I know, I actually said hotdogs.)