Whats it like to have sex for the first time?

In My Humble Opinion
41

**Astroglide ** is good, but some women have reactions to it. Stick to the water-based ones.

Probe is a nice grapeseed oil one. Don’t worry about the flavored ones, they are mostly for oral.

Definitely masturbate first, you’ll last so much longer. Make sure (assuming heterosexual encounter) she is very comfortable with both your body and her own. Take it slow. Be patient.

You just can’t go wrong providing you have a deep respect (or, hopefully love) for each other. Relax.

The next tip is a hard one - try to make it memorable, but also try not to put too much pressure on yourselves.

42

Foreplay Foreplay Foreplay!

Long-lingering-- stares into her eyes…

43

ryan, ignore the 'mericans about the lube (unless you like walking about looking for sex shops) the only one available to you will be plain old KY jelly.

from boots or superdrug, perfectly simple, more than adequate.

i thought of some more stuff to say too.

sweetie, if you don’t have your own place, you need to seriously consider logistics.

you need to be able to guarantee 1 hour of privacy for the deed, and AT LEAST one hour afterwards for a long chat and lots of cuddling.

you do NOT want to lose your virginity on a pile of coats at a house party with all of your mates outside the door.

trust me.

also, i’m going to say something about how you behave afterwards.
a gentleman DOES NOT BLAB.
it is disrespectful to her, and to yourself.

DO NOT SHARE PERSONAL INFO with friends.
not the what, or the how, or anything else.
it is not their business.

you’ll come out of it looking enigmatic, mysterious, mature and studly.

and she’ll like you more.

i remember a LOT of girls from school who had their reputations RUINED, not because they did anything unusual, but because EVERYBODY heard about it.

i’m sure you know what i mean.

44

Dude, listen to irishgirl. She speaks nothing but gospel. Get a room and keep it between the two of you. Believe me, there are two things you never, ever want to hear: 1) Holy shit, my parents are home. And 2) Is what we do between us or between us and your friends? If you ever hear either of these, you are in a world of pain and misery my friend. The downside to finally getting some action is that eventually you won’t be. Do not hasten this eventuality by being an unprepared idiot.

Next, forget the manuals unless you’re going to be with someone who is way older and experienced. If you are going to be with someone like that, then no amount of reading will make it seem like you know what you’re doing but you may be able to figure out what goes where and why. If you’re going to be with someone relatively inexperienced, then you don’t really want to break out the strap-on or propose the “dancing frog on a toadstool” position the first night.

Finally, be respectful, remember that there are two of you participating in this act, have fun, and go ahead and be nervous. The rest of us were, and are!

45
      • One useful book is Gray’s Anatomy. -For a person, that is.
        …
        Is this a person?
        ~
46

What was It like? Ahem:

"WhoaIdon’tbelieveitohmygodohmygodohwowohwowWOW.

Wow. That was quick."

47

And for a piece of advice for after your first time…

Sex is a perpetual learning experience. Once you think you know everything there is to know about your partner, you are not listening to him/her.

For most women, every time is different from the last. What feels good one time may not be her cup 'o tea the next.

Communicate, communicate, communicate!

48

Only one word: relax.

You may be very anxious and nervous for the first time, and it may be difficult to relax, but trust me, nervousness will definitely postpone your first time until next time. All that blood pumping through your veins has to come from somewhere, you understand.

FISH

49

For me, there was a lot of alchohol consumed that night, so the details are a little fuzzy.

50

This is true, but I want to add a bit to it. Understand that this rule only works one way. Her friends will know everthing. Got a mole on the left side of your penis? They all know about it now. They know length, width, and any other details that she knows. They know your facial expressions when you cum, how long you took, if you did it more than once, what positions you did it in, and even the brand of condom you used. Also your technique will be discussed at length, both of the act itself, foreplay, and if you stayed and cuddled after or jumped up and turned on the television. This is the best reason of all to make sure that you do your best to give her an orgasm, be very patient with fore and post play, and to be an all around fun guy to be with. Because the other girls will remember, and if you do a good job they will all be looking at you with much more interest than they had in the past.

One other thing; i disagree about the masturbate first idea. Don’t get hung up if you cum quickly. You are young, and can recuperate quickly. Bring several condoms. if you cum, don’t make a big deal out of it, but instead keep on being intimate by kissing, digital or oral stimulation, and you will be suprised how fast Mr. Happy is ready to have another go at it. Jerking off an hour or two before just means you will have a less intense orgasm. Men have a tendency (and women too, i guess) to equate the male orgasm to signal the end of the sex encounter. I like sex so much I don’t want to quit with just one. Girls are usually pleasantly suprised when you don’t roll over and fall asleep as soon as you get off. give it a try.

51

Oh, one last thing. Irish girl is right about blabbing. For some reason its ok for the girls to share the info between them, but if your friend so much as asks “so, did you have sex with Suzie?” and you say “yes”, then you are a cad and a blabbermouth and girls wont have sex with you because they don’t want to be talked about. On the other hand, when her friends come up to you and say “suzie told us about you two, she really enjoyed it from what I hear” you should play dumb and act like you have no idea what they are talking about. Why? Because a guy that keeps his mouth shut gets laid. a lot. by her friends sometimes if he wants to. girls are funny this way (however rest assured that the friend won’t tell suzie!!!)

52

My only advice is to try and make sure your partner is a considerate person. Unfortunately, I’m not always too great in this regard. The first time I had sex, when he, uh, entered, I hollered out:

HOLY SHIT! THAT FEELS LIKE THE BIGGEST FREAKIN’ TAMPON ON EARTH!!!

Not my finest moment.

53

Hahaha! Thats a good one Green Bean!

54

Actually, I sort of disagree with this. Try your hardest to get her to orgasm, but the first time it’s not likely to happen - so don’t make a big deal out of it, or else she’ll end up feeling pressured to and if you start thinking about orgasming too much, you won’t. If she just ends up faking it for your benefit it’s not a good start to things. So try for the orgasm, but don’t get too disheartened if it doesn’t happen - just make sure that she enjoys whatever you do and treat her with respect. Be considerate and make sure she’s feeling okay during it, let her know that if at any point she isn’t feeling so good you can stop. Make sure she feels she has equal control over the situation. And enjoy. :slight_smile:

55

Eh, you’ll want to experiment a bit with lube. For example, I hate, hate, hate Astroglide, especially for uh…manual stimulation. The only thing I like is KY…so not to add too much more to think about…but yeah, I’d agree with whoever suggested that you stick with KY in case she has a physical reactin to Astroglide.

56

I know others before me have said this, but the MOST important things for first time sex are…

  1. You love the person. If you have to ask yourself, Do I love this person? then chances are, you don’t.
  2. You are completely attentive to that person, especially if she (assuming hetero encounter here) is a virgin too. If it’s anything like my first time, if she says “Stop” or “Go slow” or yet “I don’t wanna do this”, you damn well better or else you’ll end up with a knee to the balls and a panicked girl on your hands.

My first time was QUITE painful, although this lasted about five seconds, and when I told him to stop, he stopped until I was okay, and knowing that he cared enough about me to do that when other guys might just lose their minds and keep going made the experience even more special. Keep in mind…special doesn’t necessary mean mind-blowing…The first time I had sex, it was definitely nothing to write home about…hehe, not that you would anyway, but you know what I’m saying. Don’t put too many expectations into it, and for God’s sake, DON’T get embarassed if everything doesn’t go smoothly. Have fun and be safe.
And finally, call me old fashioned, but I’ll reiterate #1…Make sure you love this person. Sex is so cheap now because of the media and modern views and whatnot that no one thinks it’s a big deal anymore…It IS a big deal. Sex without love is dead, my friends.

Green Bean: Hahahaha…Amen, sister. :wink:

57

Wow, mega-bump!

Seeing as zepchick has injected a shot of adrenalin into this thread, I will add this…

zepchick said:

<< And finally, call me old fashioned, but I’ll reiterate #1…Make sure you love this person. Sex is so cheap now because of the media and modern views and whatnot that no one thinks it’s a big deal anymore…It IS a big deal. Sex without love is dead, my friends. >>

Sex without love can be fantastic, but it isn’t necessarily. I don’t think Ryan should feel pressured into finding someone he loves before having sex.

58

I meant “injected a shot of adrenalin into the apparantly lifeless heart of this thread”. Oh, forget it!

59

It’s been a long time, but:

Don’t read lots of books. They are for people with problems, or people who are looking for something new or better. Sex is really very easy - especially when you follow the advice about listening, caring, and lots of touching beforehand. Look, if you’re working on making toast, boiling water, and scrambling an egg, reading Julia Child to get ready is just going to confuse you.

A lot depends on her experience. If you are both virgins, I’m not sure how she’d react to you masturbating before. Don’t worry about it being perfect, this should be the first of many times, and you’ll probably laugh about it later.

And don’t worry. Not many people stay celibate their entire lives because they messed up the first time. With love, it will work.

60

Don’t use a condom your first time, it ruins it. You can have no idea how badly condoms ruin sex until you start having it. Grrr.