“I don’t know”, said the Invisible Man, “But my butt sure hurts.”
And the Martian said "So why were you in such a hurry at the end?
None. Klingon warriors are not afraid of the dark.
“Whatever you say, Captain, but the rest of us just ride the camel to town.”
“And the four guys who’d have to hold Hop Sing down.”
Is that the same as “The Chinaman, he don’t go for that shit neither” ?
Yeah, I just think that the version that drops that line is punchier.
I guess it’s just the way you tell them.
It just goes to show, you don’t fuck with the Lone Ranger.
Well then, you’re not going to like Thursdays either.
I’m 74 years old. I’m telling everybody.
So what position did she play?
Dammit, that’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this month!
Guess what, mac, I’ve been screwing Cindy Crawford.
None, he tripped.
“You can weed a horse to slaughter, but you can’t make him fink”
“What do you know, a talking dog!”
“Why am I amazed that this thread hasn’t been moved long ago?”
…a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!
That’s not a lion, it’s a giraffe.
‘No, son; let’s walk down and screw them all.’
Just a minute, I’ll get my hat and go with you.
I just wanted to know if you have a viola.
(You can replace viola with banjo if you like.)
Then I whisper in his ear: “Do you want me to do that again?”
And the guy says “I’m in here because I’m crazy, not because I’m stupid!”
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
He just holds it still and the world revolves around him.
Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?
So much for your canoe, sucker!
So he picked her up and threw into the ocean and said “there, now your ****ed!”
They both come in quartz.
A widow!
Sic 'em, Jesus!
“It’s a nick-nack Paddywack. Give the frog a lone, his old man’s a Rolling Stone.”
Just then a buzzer sounds and one of Satan’s minions enters the room. “Coffe break’s over! Back on your heads!”
“I can’t wait to tell all my friends I slept with Rhino Neil”
“Say, masked man, y’all left yer injun running.”
“Some people just can’t tell a joke.”
“‘Cause it’s f*uckin’ near water!”
“Oh, then you’re gonna hate Fridays.”
“OK, death… by bunga bunga!”