Loaded diapers or sleeping?
Regarding “manly”, the key requirements must be something:
- Inherently phallic,
- Excessive, noisy and violent; and
- Looks awesome with bulging muscles, glistening sweat & clenched teeth.
Therefore the answer is, hands down, the minigun. (See Exhibits A, B, and C.)
Conan could be holding a water pistol in this painting and it would be the most manly weapon.
.50 BMG rifle.
A truly manly weapon is ridiculously oversized and yet you’re badass enough to wield it to devastating effect. The rotary minigun certainly counts. Another example is Hercules’s club. No mere cudgel this, it’s basically a log with one end trimmed enough to fit your hand. A modern equivalent was Sheriff Buford’s 4x4. If you can shoot a sawed-off pistol grip 12 gauge shotgun one-handed, that’s manly too.
There are other manly weapons. Weapons that suggest you not only dish out punishment on a regular basis, but in super-size servings as well. Brass knuckles certainly send a message. So does a sufficiently cruel-looking mace. What they may lack in size they more than make up for in bodily harm.
But that is not to say that the manliness of a weapon is measured by its overkill alone. James Bond’s sheer coolness made the Walther PPK renowned. Zorro and Indiana Jones showed what a bullwhip can do in the hands of a real man. Mike Hammer made the 1911 .45 the hardboiled detective’s gun, as simple and blunt as a punch in the face.
Knives and other edged weapons: can certainly be manly but they have to meet certain parameters. In general a manly knife is one that implies the wielder is conversant enough with blades to appreciate the design features- but too elaborate a knife just makes you look like a poser.
Not manly: http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608048518879445836&pid=1.7
Manly: http://ts2.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608033353354511205&pid=1.7
Not manly: http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/yhst-54334793715728_2269_530873390
(Is anyone else thinking this is the equivalent of defining femininity by lingerie? Is this annoying any men?)
I don’t think that, and I don’t find it annoying. And your logic is off, this is not defining masculinity by weapons, it’ defining weapons by masculinity. Men think there are many ways masculinity can be reflected besides weapons, just as there are many way femininity can be reflected besides lingerie.
I choose the 4,5 or 6 D cell Maglite brand flashlight.
It is one the most effective bludgeons available.
And after I’m finished, I can turn it on and see who it was that I just clubbed into unconsciousness.
I would argue, then, that in this guy’s hands the nine-dragon trident is pretty manly.
I’ve boasted around here that I do a lot of things with a lot of different blades (I can even cook! :D) but with that in my hands, I’ll just look like a poser.
—G!:eek:
Better See if you’re holding
The Wrong Edge of the Blade!
…–Steve Perry
…Edge of the Blade
…Frontiers
My choice, and one of my rifles - Marlin 336er lever action carbine chambered in .356 Win. It’s pretty rare. More of a mortar than a rifle 
The page should be updated. It does not mention the .356 cartridge.
I am not offended. The thread is an amusing pastime for me, at any rate.
Nailed it in one.
Honourable mention goes to “Henry VIII’s walking stick”.
From when cracked.com made me laugh out loud.
ehh. We’re just having fun.
We all know that lingerie does not define a woman, and a weapon does not define a man.
Now if you want to talk about pick-up trucks, that’s a whole 'nother mater
Nuclear triad.
This trillion ton dick makes all those other things look… flaccid.
Punt Gun (fired from the hip of course).
In that case, going by actual historic weapons, I’d vote for the bollock dagger. It’s the emphatic codpiece of cutlery.
I’ll go with this. Think of the Hulk or King Kong - literary representation of manliness at its core - and they both use their hands/fists for all their smashing.