What's the oddest thing you've called a fellow motorist?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I was caught behind one of those way-bigger-than-it-needs-to-be-and-tarted-out-from-there pickup trucks this morning. At one point, we actually made it through the short light where most people are turning left (and swinging right to do so). Having gotten through this light, he (I’ll assume the driver was a “he” – can’t be sure, thanks to the tinted windows) braked a dozen yards past the intersection for one of those visible-only-to-cats-and-drivers-who-are-pissing-me-off manifestations.

At which point I muttered, “God, mud people!”

Mud people?

WTF?

2

Futher Muckers. Actually, my wife said it once and I laughed so hard I almost pissed my pants. I use it all the time now.

3

DickWad

4

Fag-attack.

Don’t ask me what that means.

5

I heard my brother call someone a “Gay-bot” once.

6

I said “cock face!” the other day. After which I said to myself, “did I just say cock face?”

7

I’ve said “Your parents were brother and sister” to other drivers before.

8

My mother was a lady who didn’t curse much at all - so when another driver angered her beyond the bounds of politeness, she would mutter “idiotface”.

9

I’m fond of the phrase “mud-eating shitweasel” to describe drivers who displease me.

Robin

10

Dickweed or dickless for me.

11

I knew a guy in college who would yell “lick the snot off my fuck-stick” when he was driving…

I never knew what that meant, or why snot would be there in the first place, but it ended any argument on-the-spot…

12

Years ago, I was riding with a friend and her young daughter when we had to slow down to avoid hitting a person who was ambling around in the street. As we swerved around this person, the kid leaned out the window and yelled “Meanderthal!”

Ever since then, I’ve thought of street-ambling people as Meanderthals. Kids say the darnedest things.

13

“Cuntfucker”. Although it’s not really an insult, unless it’s a male driver and he’s gay.

14

My new favorite is “Jackwipe.” It is a combination of Jackass and Asswipe. I have no idea how I came up with it.

15

Oh, I am becoming increasingly convinced that there is a league of people covertly involved in a great conspiracy against me. That conspiracy? To make me late to everything.

And their tactics are devious. There’s the guy in the left lane with his left blinker on who suddenly turns right. The dude who ignores stop signs and speed limits and always drives at a perpendicular angle to me. The woman who I think is dyslexic, and so drives at 03 mph. Etc.

Over the years (it’s a long term conspiracy), in various states of befuddlement and frustration, I’ve shaken my fist and fumbled out scores of oddly constructed insults. Some of my favorites:

twatmunger
boogerflucker
ass-sniffer
cornshitter
suckface wuckfad (still get teased about this one)

16

I picked up “anal bum cover” from “Sean Connery.”

17

I’m so ashamed. I’ve usually stuck with the mundane “jerk” or “idiot” but now I see the light, I shall sully forth correctly identifying all meanderthals and mud people and jackwipes as they cross my path.

Thanks, Twicks! :cool:

18

Drippy dickhole.

19

“Illegitimate son of a syphilitic whore” is a personal favorite. So is “diseased by-blow of a spavined camel.” Thank you, GM Fraser. :smiley: