This may result eventually in a poll if there are enough similar responses to warrant such. And I had no idea where the appropriate forum (if any) would be to ask this.
I have a collection of names that I use instead of generic ones like asshole, shithook, cocksucker, etc., when I’m being mistreated in traffic like being cut off or almost run into or something more life-threatening. It seems that a good many of them are names of playmates and classmates from 50-60 years ago that just jump out of my subconscious at those moments and which don’t represent any deliberate ill will toward their former owners.
If you have similar people you address when you’re saying things like “Fuck you in the heart, whomever” to some driver or pedestrian or the like, please share the names if not the entire chant.
A few of mine that get reused:
Gerald
Harold
Clyde
Kenneth
Virgil
Grady
…got to be a dozen more that hopefully one or some of you may mention.
Or do you never sully the names of old friends this way?
Yeah, I would never use an actual name that might belong to an actual, non-asshole person. I would use dickweed, dill-hole, jaggoff, god-damn-mother-fucking-cock-sucker, or the ever popular and succinct asshole. Would never grace them with an actual person’s given name.
I had a girlfriend once who had an Italian parent from whom she had copied the habit of saying “tua mama è una puttana!” when drivers were rude to her. I do the same, at least mentally. I don’t really mean it, it’s just funny.
Normally I call them a “fucking clown” or “clown” if the kids are in the car.
I once missed the opportunity of a lifetime when I got carved up on the motorway by a van, I silently fumed but said nothing. It was only when I passed the van that I saw the sign painted on the side
fucker.
Specifically lower case and murmured, not yelled. A friend was over with her 1 1/2 year old tyke, who kept grabbing things (our home isn’t kid safe or friendly). At some point I muttered “fucker”, and her mom cracked up.
My current favorite is “dickwrinkle” but some of these others may be more satisfying. And, of course, the “What did you eat for breakfast this morning? Stupid flakes?” never fails.
Grandma or gramps, whatever I feel like, regardless of gender. I used to call slow people “slopes” until somebody pointed out it could be interpreted as a racial slur, now I just call them slowpers. With a heavy sprinkling of asshole, piece of shit, etc.
In general I’ve been experimenting with curse words. Shizz and farts lightens the mood better than shit and fuck.
Any idea who might be your first cuss-tomer?