So I’m walking my fiance back to evening class, and the question pops up: “So, what are my faults? No, really, I think this will help me grow as a person.”
“This will only get you mad at me,” says I,“and most of them you won’t consider faults, and you’ll spend half the night defending yourself, leading to a big fight, during which you accuse me of a: having the same faults, or b: having certain disgustingly petty qualites that don’t exist, because that’s the only way you can justify those actions. And then we’ll spend the rest of the night making up, laughing about how stupid that discussion was.”
The response: “But, you love me, so you’ll be honest.” :smack:
So, yeah, now a certain someone’s mad at me, and I have to wait until class is out to finish the discussion; meanwhile, things have time to brew.
So, the poll question is, I suppose, why? what is the purpose of pointing out shortcomings?
People ask so that you can lie to them. If you don’t tell them what you know they want to hear, you’ll get in trouble everytime. When asked always say they have no faults, men especially tell your women this, things will be much easier if you do.
On a serious note, I rarely provide this information unless I know the person isn’t in denial.
Total schmaltzy aside: The moment that I realized that I was truly in love with my partner of 11 years (and counting)(may she live forever) was when I realized that if she were in a horribly disfiguring, mutilating wreck that my first thought would be “thank God she is still alive”.
Yeah, but you can’t just say their perfect. They won’t buy it. You gotta treat it like a job interview… turn a weakness into a strength or take a strength and play it weak, like this:
“The only bad thing I can think of, honey is that you make me feel way outclassed”
“You’re sense of fashion makes me feel like a hillbilly” (no offense, hillbillies)
Friendly advice: When the object of your affection asks you to enumerate his/her faults, there is only one proper answer: assume an uncomprehending calf-like expression and say, “Faults?” as if you never heard the word before.
I once had a boyfriend who was a realtor. When he asked me to enumerate his faults, I stupidly pointed out the way he always pronounced “realtor” in three syllables: ree-uhl-tor. Beginning of end of relationship.
“You mean apart from your ass being so fat?”
Seriously, there is no possible way that this conversation will not end up badly. She wanted to be reassured that you think she is perfect.
Lie. Immediately, repeatedly, and without a second’s hesitation. Never, ever, admit to a single fault. She will persist. You must be strong.
Women say they want honesty. This is their way of getting you to say something they can use later.
Follow my advice. It won’t help, but you must try.
[Theme From Deliverance]Where you goin’ city boy!!![/Theme From Deliverance]… j/k:p
I’m sorry Zoe…I didn’t mean to offend any rural folk! Incidentally, my (admitted) slur of the Hillbilly Demographic’s fashion sense was intended only as a jest. And I never said anything about dumb. In fact you inferred that I had intended (or would support) a slam on the intellectual capabilities of hillbillies. This is not the case, and suggests to me that you yourself have some underlying issues of insecurity regarding the mental acuity of country folk. But be fair, I only slurred their fashion sense.
Fallacious as it no doubt is, I was envisioning the stereotypical Jed Clampett style bumpkin… I think literacy with a computer and a proclivity to use the internet preclude the hillbilly designation… but then again
Now I certainly did not mean to insult all people from backwoods areas. In fact, since the term hillbilly could apparently be constrewed (or defined even!) as anyone from a backwoods area, and I myself have a goal of being able to support myself in a much more rural environment, i.e. house in the country… I guess one could say that I aspire to be a hillbilly. Or I wish I was a hillbilly. My apologies to appalachians everywhere…
Not sure how you would come to that conclusion since…
a). teppei did not slur hillbillies
b). My post was definately a differing view from the stance of the OP
c). By now we have made a near-total departure from the question posed in the OP
d). Hi teppei
Nonetheless, I reiterate:
Didn’t mean to offend:D
If you’re still offended take me to the pit, I guess…
We’ll fry up some opossum vittles and have a pull on Granny’s old tyme rheumatiz medicine
Sometimes people like to have an excuse to work up a head of steam. If they were totally honest and straightforward they’d say something like, “Honey, could you piss me off so I can get good and angry/sulky/bitter/have an excuse to stomp off and be alone tonight so I can have the soothing endorphin rush later when the ugliness is resolved?” People have problems saying what they want bluntly, though.
You should point that out as a fault next time she asks!
yikes, don’t know how I offended you zoe, but please be more direct in your subtlety; I’m not very biright, and therefore need things spelled out for me sometimes. um…let’s see…
takes opportunity to practice
Zoe, your hillbilliness is so appealing that it distracts me, making me forget how I was going to finish this jest.
thanks for the advice; hopefully I remember this when put on the spot again.
