Except for four of a kind or a straight flush.
I’m not sure how long Hope & Faith has been on, but it gets my nomination anyway. Get it away!
No, I think “Small Wonder” has you beat.
Anyone who thinks “Friends” and “Seinfeld” were actually the worst sitcoms ever is either lying or has never actually watched any other sitcoms. Compared to “Mama’s Family” or “Small Wonder,” “Friends” is like Shakespeare.
There HAVE been worse shows but none meet the four-season requirement. “the War at Home” is an almost maliciously bad show, but it hasn’t been on for four years.
Small Wonder! I totally forgot about that show! Yes, that was even worse than Mama’s Family or Full House.
Was Small Wonder on for four years? Even in the worst of seasons I don’t see how that show could have survived more than a few episodes. Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, that was one of the creepiest shows I’ve ever seen.
Other terrible shows: Perfect Strangers, Head of the Class, ER, King of the Hill, Three’s Company, Growing Pains, Three’s Company (so bad it deserves to be listed twice), and *Mad About You * (Gaah! Shut! Up! Allready!).
Also, anything produced for kids between 1965 and 1985 (possibly longer). Dear hipster doofus, if you are wearing a shirt with the Care Bears, My Little Pony, Land of the Lost, or anything in the H.R. Puff-N-Stuff genre, you clearly did not have to live through the various levels of hell inhabited by these shows.
OK, 2 contributions. One contrarian that is bound to get shouted down, another a dark-horse candidate for the win.
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24 (AKA the Jack Bauer Hour). Season 1 was good and the first half of season 2 was OK. I’m sure we don’t need to go over the hackneyed recurring plot of “oh no, who’s the mole, who’s really a double secret reverse mole”, and “oh no, it’s going to blow”, and “oh no, I can’t believe Jack Bauer cut his own nuts off to get the PIN number to the leukemia bomb.” And in spite of all the sultry looks, nary a hint of cleavage from Kim Bauer. Yes, shut it, you know I’m right.
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Silver Spoons. Oh yeah, you remember it, you know it’s horrifying. 4 years of suck with a tie-in to Diff’Rint StrokeZ.
I’m going to win this thread.
I keep hearing “Family Matters” and “Full House” thrown out there like they were the worst shows ever by happenstance, a mere unfortunate convergence of concentrated unfunniness and an accidental conglomeration of hackeneyed writing, C-list actors, cloying cuteness, uninspired insipidness, test-marketed catchphrases and talentless semi-pretty people was somehow created within a vacuum. This isn’t so.
Somebody was responsible for this. Somebody made these shows common denominator wastelands of inoffensive pablum. These shows were crafted to be creative black holes, dumb-ass-fuck boob tube fare, situation comedies that were all situations leeched and choked of actual humor. These weren’t sitcoms. These were just “sits.”
I give you: the Miller/Boyett Television Production Company Friday Night Schedule.
“Step by Step” (1991-1998)
“Family Matters” (1989-1998)
“Valerie / The Hogan Family” (1986-1991)
“Full House” (1987-1995)
“Perfect Strangers” (1986-1993)
Any one of these shows by themselves would be an astonishing monument to the feckless void of television programming and a terrific achievement in the annals of broadcast dreck. But to craft five such shows with such impeccable unredeeming qualities supercedes mere awfulness; it’s a bold victory for schlock, a documentation of the ongoing assault on Minimal Good Taste and the zeitgeist of Hilarity Ensuing As Cued By Obnoxious Laugh Track.
Considered as a block of shows (say, 1989-1991) there was no worse block of programming on TV, ever. There’s no excuse to watch these shows unless you needed an excuse to fire an amnesia ray into your gray matter every Friday, and by “amnesia ray”, I mean tons of illegal narcotics and cases of grain alcohol.
Ah. I was going to mention Silver Spoons --but I see it has finally been pegged. How about Different Strokes? or the *Happy Days * spin off (not Laverne and Shirley -although I thought that sucked big time too–the one with Scott Baio. Maybe it just seemed to last forever).
The Nanny --someone should have smothered that woman. Her voice alone is against the Geneva Convention.
Major hate over here for Full House --I never thought the Olsen twins were cute as toddlers and I still find them disturbingly unattractive. There is something malformed about their faces…
Mercifully, anything else has been wiped from my memory due to age.
I always thought that they looked like little trol dolls.
This is, in fact, the correct answer. Not only was it the most pure unadulterated garbage it managed at one point to be the longest running sitcom on TV anywhere on earth. Its only cultural contribution was the phrase, “the fat kid from Hey Dad”. God it was awful, just awful…indescribably awful.
Page 2 and nobody has mention Bill Cosby?
I nominate Coach and Alice.
I hope your job doesn’t require good eyesight. Lisa Kudrow the prettiest? Harrumph! If I had two hours with Jennifer, I guarantee you my eyes would not be spending any time on her ears. And in all modesty, I’d give her the best two hours she’s ever had.
My nomination: Good Times What tension! At some point, JJ was going to say “Dyn-O-Mite” and the studio would erupt in applause. In fact, I nominate any show where the studio audience burst into applause at anything done by a character.
Curses! This thread has activated some heretofore forgotten memories. Thanks guys…
Fantasy Island --the weird dwarf (no, I will not say little people–that’s worse, IMO), the improbable fantasies–no sex in any of them–what was up with that? Mr Roarke with his white suit and odd demeanor…the whole thing was odd and bad.
Love Boat –especially after the Captain got “magical” powers. WTF?
Bosom Buddies -the only good thing was it gave us Tom Hanks.
All in the Family --intended as a satire, sadly, it spoke all the things that most Americans had learned were impolite (this was before political correctness). I still contend that most of America took what Archie said, not as satirical irony,but as wholeheared truth…any way, it stank. Gloria and her quivering chin, Edith and her imbecility and good ole Archie-an asshole if ever there was one.
The Waltons -come now. Who else wanted Grandpa to be growing weed and SueEllen to be turning tricks for cash? Dammit, it was the Depression! yuck.
McCloud -never got thru the credits. Didn’t care what happened to Dennis Weaver, still don’t.
And I agree with the above re I Love Lucy --she was dumb, the show was dumb, people who watched it became dumber by the minute. (I do think this one is generational–ask almost any older folk and they all love Lucy).
Gilligan’s Island may have entered Kitsch Heaven and all, but it was still a bad show.
I Dream of Jeanie -a Bewitched rip off with all the male sex slave fantasies included. At least Samantha had a brain! Blech.
I could go on and on and on…but my viewing stopped about 1982…
Hey, wait a second. Good Times, like a number of 70’s sitcoms, dealt with some substantial stuff and was not afraid to have a show that was not all gags and giggles. Take for example the show where JJ’s dad died… probably more than half that episode was tears, anger, fear, and it wasn’t tied up on a hopeful happy ending. I wasn’t the world’s biggest fan of Good Times, but I have to give them props on that… no way any sitcom from the 80’s or beyond would have that kind of courage nowadays; it would be a recipe for cancellation.
(bolding mine)
Foolish mortal! :mad: Obviously Valerie, poorly written though it may have been, belongs not in this list, as it co-starred the great and glorious Jason Bateman!
Oz has spoken! 
FWIW this is my take on the two series as well. Basically, yeah, what Skald said.
This calls for the obligatory…
DAMN! DAMN!! DAMN!!!
I have to point out that most soap operas have been on for decades. Have you ever actually sat through an entire episode of one? Everything mentioned so far has been on a lower level of hellishly bad than, oh, The Guiding Light.
I thought of that eppy too, but that show had some distinct phases. It started decently enough, about a struggling black family. Pretty groundbreaking stuff. But it unfortunately devolved into a caricature of itself and those episodes that seem to exist to set up the Dyn-O-Mite line were about as bad as TV gets. In its later years it got serious again and stopped revolving around Jimmy Walker. For me, the Jimmy Walker era was about the worst schlock I’ve ever seen.
Same here; I like it for a few years when, given what it was, it was pleasant and not completely corny (or corny in a good way). But the past few years have just been sad. Every character acts the same as every other, unlike the distinct personalities the kids used to have, and the “dramas” that are created are just dumb.