I’m actually thinking of current SO’s - not so bad that they are an ex at this point.
My SO periodically threatens to leave (as in a time-out but for days) when we get in a terrible argument which I find abhorrent and really hurtful. He’s never done it, but I hate that it comes out of his mouth.
Anyone else live in luxury like me?
I believe I called her a slut once many years ago. It was one of the worst things I’ve ever said because I really wanted to hurt her when I said it, and I really did hurt her.
I’m a very lucky man that I have since been forgiven.
I may have said other things out of anger, possibly worse, but that just stands out in my mind.
I don’t think she’s ever acted really mean or hurtful out of anger to me, but that’s not to say she’s never hurt me.
Thanks for answering HoldenCaulfield. I’m really feeling low today and then felt lower because I thought no one had said mean things like me and my SO.
It is easy to forgive comments made in anger. It is harder to forgive hurtful comments said in a thoughtless or careless moment. In 18 years of marriage, there have been thankfully few of those.
I remember I once said “I’ll see ya when I see ya then!” at the end of an argument to my bf, (now an ex), and left. He absolutely HATED that phrase, because it was like, “well if I bother to think of you and bump into you, then I guess i’ll say hello”. And I said it once out of anger just to piss him off, and he went mental. We made up after that fight but the relationship still went downhill. Now that I think of it, it’s not so much the things he ever said to me, it was his actions. (This is probably because he repeatedly told me he wasn’t interested in anyone else but it didn’t stop him from messing around and leaving me for a co-worker). So basically, I’m sure a lot of people say horrible things sometimes when they are mad, but some people’s actions can hurt more than words.
people say erally foul things to ‘loved’ ones, under the guise of honesty and expression of true feelings
my exwife used to tell me that she never should have married me- and that was six years before we parted.
thing she said that bothered me most was ‘f*ck you’. never had a SO say that to me before her. and that was when we were just dating.
can’t say i wasn’t warned.
luck
My (now ex) boyfriend said, “I feel like I have to choose between you and God,” which really sucked because I didn’t have any problem with his religious beliefs, but apparently he didn’t like mine.
Pure, thermonuclear venom. I’d not repeat it here. Not a good scene.
After a long night up with a sick toddler, I fell asleep on the sofa while said toddler sat on the floor watching Sesame Street. My husband came home early, having had a bad day, and first startled me awake, then snapped some comment about my being passed out on the sofa. I snapped back in a big fat hurry: “The baby is fine, and I was tired, so I was sleeping. I was NOT passed out drunk. That would be YOUR mother.”
I regret it to this day, although he admits I’d hit the nail on the head about why finding me asleep during the day set him off.
This wasn’t really said in anger, but just in an offhand way, which made it sting even more:
“You wouldn’t understand, and besides, you wouldn’t care anyway.”
" I don’t know why I even married you, your p*ssy isn’t even tight"
That is the one that comes to mind instantly, I have since moved on, and am with someone who thinks its just fine so I suppose its perception.
I told my husband to fuck off once. If there’s a Hell, I’ll burn there for that, I think. It wan’t even a fight over something significant–we were just both cranky at the same time and it escalated. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Deadly! Nice to see you moving on!
(Pertinent background information: When we took on caregiving for his bedridden mother we could never have imagined we would still be at it 3+ yrs later. The strain of it all can turn the smallest spat into much, much more…)
I don’t even remember now what the fight was about but he said something about how we were under a lot of stress just now and that would change. How? When? I wanted to know.
To which he said, “She’s not going to live forever.”
To which I replied, through my tears, “She is too.”
We glared at each other and then burst out laughing!
Around this house, laughing or crying, it’s the same release.
My roommate kept many reptiles, some of which he would feed crickets. Sometimes they escaped, and once, in the middle of a fight with my SO at the time, I saw one without my glasses and thought it was a roach, so I began to freak out and asked my SO to deal with it. He refused and made fun of me, so I snapped, “What the hell do I need you for? If I had an electric blanket and a vibrator, you’d be outta here!”
Yeah, I know… shocking that relationship ended, ain’t it?
For a while when my SO and I would argue (which doesn’t happen all that often), he’d call me ungrateful. For the longest time that really hurt me–then I realized it was something my parents said of me and my sister all the time. So he and I talked about it and he hasn’t said that since–and we have argued a couple of times since, but we’ve always managed to work things out.
I’ve said some pretty awful things to exes–usually when it’s been clear the relationship is at a point of no return and I’ve been pushed to the breaking point (still not a justification…) But I do try to be very careful of what I say in anger because I really don’t want to hurt the people I love. I grew up in a household where arguments were frequent and you scored points by saying the most hurtful thing you could–I don’t ever want to recreate that household!
I’m with TheLoadedDog. Early in our relationship, my soon-to-be-ex said some really nasty stuff that led me to predict that our relationship would eventually come to an end over something nasty she said in the heat of the moment.
That’s pretty much true.
She unloaded some venom over a couple of (our last) days that I simply cannot forgive. One in particular was a nuclear weapon of a lie, told to me at 1:30am when I was an emotional wreck, which was designed purely to destroy me and make me think that it was all my fault. No Fucking Way I will ever forgive that one. The shear manipulative cruelty of it goes way beyond the bounds of human decency.
Years ago an ex-girlfriend/fiance stabbed me! With a pair of surgical tweezers! Then raked my arm with them! 18 stitches!While we were on holidays in africa! All because I called her a slut when i found out she’d f*cked someone that wasn’t me. Got a four inch long scar running down my left bicep because of her. I also bailed and left her in Africa the day she did that, donated all her clothes to charity and never saw her again…oh sweet revenge!
I told my current SO that “she wasn’t worth knowing” a while back during a heated exchange, I didn’t mean it, thankfully she has forgiven me.
Hmmm. Let’s see. On seeing a picture of me from college (one that I loved), my boyfriend of the time remarked, “No wonder you didn’t date in college. You looked like a lesbian.”
That wasn’t really a reason for us breaking up. It was kind of like the chocolate sprinkle on top of the sundae.
My SO said she had drained the bank account so she wouldn’t have to argue about it in the divorce.
She hadn’t, but it had given me such a sleepless night that I refused to take her back the next morning, even though I had been the one wanting us to stay together.