Last week I called a 70 year old woman a “fucking asshole”. Twice.
This was after she made a 5 point turn in my backyard because she got lost in my driveway looking for the neighbors house, digging up my lawn in the process.
And then she parked her car on the sidewalk in the corner of an intersection, so I had to walk my dog in the middle of the roads to get around her car.
She rolled down her window and feebly said “I’m sorry”, at which point I may have called her an asshole a third time, and told her to buy me some grass seed and to park somewhere safer off the sidewalk.
My wife was happy that I never let the cunt word out, which surprised me too. She was old, after all, so I was being nice.
I think I was 14. I was on a first date with a friend of a cousin or something. My sister and another guy were with us too.
We were at the skating rink and some guy started giving my date a hard time. What came out of my mouth made no sense at all, but it did include every single curse word I knew at the time.
It was something like, you mother fucking fucker son of a bitch bastard fucker.
My date could not get me home quick enough and never asked for a second date. I scared him silly, I think.
Ah, my girlfriends and I used to insult each other regularly, just because we liked to cuss. My roommate once called me a cunt when we were playing chess and I took her queen. There was actually worse stuff but it was all in fun…for awhile in the dorm it was like an ongoing insult contest.
sigh
Sometimes I miss the old days.
I once told one of my kids to stop being such a little shit. Actually I probably said that to all of them, at one time or another.
A guy creates a great business, and it goes belly up.
He builds a fabulous house and it burns down.
He marries the girl of his dreams…and she dies.
He ends up on a lonely stretch of beach crying, "God! God, why does this keep happening to me?’
And a deep voice from above says, “I don’t know. There’s just something about you that pisses me off.”
I called my dad a “fucking asshole”, among other things. The thought saddens me now. Not because he didn’t deserve it, because he absolutely did. It’s just that the things I would call him were so dreadfully unimaginative.
The asshole left a door to a building propped upon because he was too lazy to walk downstairs to to let in a delivery man. Some other assholes got there before the delivery guy. They raped the cleaning woman and stole the computers on the first floor. The delivery guy discovered everything, called the authorities, and took the cleaning woman to the hospital. Mr. Oblivious Lazy Asshole had been upstairs listening to music and surfing the net the entire time. Our boss fired him immediately. We all fantasized about smashing his kneecaps and leaving him in another country without his passport.
Oh.With all due respect, you realize you overdid it, right? It sounds like you were holding him personally responsible for raping the cleaning woman and stealing the computers.
She was violently beaten and then penetrated by a penis. And I don’t think it was out of proportion. The cleaning woman was a completely innocent working class woman trying to earn a living, but because of that asshole’s laziness she was sexually violated. We later found out her husband abandoned her as a result of the rape. The asshole knew our office was in a high crime area. The asshole lived nearby. The asshole knew it was ironclad policy not to prop open doors (we had security doors that were rather hard to break open). I have often suspected the asshole had something to do with the robbery. So, did our boss and police, but nothing powerful enough to arrest the asshole was ever established. If there is any justice in the universe, the asshole is somebody’s prison bitch.
In a manner of speaking, he was responsible. His selfish laziness allowed the rape and the robbery to happen. This wasn’t an office in some Mayberry like small town. It was a dangerous neighborhood (of which the asshole was a resident) and he knew propping open doors was grounds for termination.
Well, again, all due respect and I don’t want to turn this into a battle, but I do want to point out that unless you would have kicked him in the ribs and groin while calling him a nigger who deserved to be lynched* even if there had been no consequences to his leaving the door propped open*, which I am pretty confident you would not have done, then I think you were inappropriately responding
But it was obviously a terrible thing that happened and you were understandably upset, I get that.
Many years ago, the librarian in my local library did something that annoyed me so I called her a cunt as I was leaving. She had the good grace to look both shocked and offended. At the time I was proud of having made such an impression with one wee small word, but on later, more mature reflection, it was a bit over the top for the situation, and I think an apology for that is due.
It should have been considering the danger of robbery in the neighborhood the building was located in. I saw the situation as analogous to drunk driving. Someone who gets behind the wheel intoxicated doesn’t mean to kill someone in an accident, but if they will be charged with a crime if they do so. The asshole (if he wasn’t in on the robbery and assault) didn’t mean for the cleaning woman to be raped or the office vandalized, but he wilfully set in motion the conditions that made it all possible.
