What's this sticky crap on my right hand? (Ridiculous/paranoid answers only, please.)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I had breakfast this morning before leaving the house. Not being a Welshman I washed my hands before leaving. Being a caffeine addict I stopped at Starbucks before going in. As I was standing in line I felt something sticky between the thumb and forefinger of my right hand, and also between the forefinger and middle finger. Between washing my hands and entering 'Bucks, i touched only the faucet, car keys, doorknob, car door, and steering wheel, all of which were clean.

So what the hell was it?

Ridiculous or paranoid answers only, please. Ridiculous AND paranoid answers are even better.

2

Some guy from Wales broke into your car and put tacky glue all over your steering wheel…

3

The Blob. By now, you’ve been eaten.

4

God is showing you His love.

5

Josey? I bet it was tobacco spit.

6

You’re leaking ectoplasm. Pre-Halloween. Happens to lots of people. Sop it up with light bread. Eat the bread if you want to live to 100.

7

“That’s it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?”

8

:: works action on shotgun ::

I’m sure that was just a mistake on your part. You didn’t MEAN to imply that Athena was a dude. Right?

:mad:

9

If it’s on your hand and it’s sticky, it’s a stick.

10

Keep checking that hand. Make sure thisdoesn’t happen to you.

11

Sounds like a hormonal disruption throwing out your endocrine system and causing your sebaceous glands to produce a viscous secretion to me.

Probably cancer. You should go to the doctor, although it’s probably too late once it’s reached this stage.

12

I will NOT mention Eowyn. I will NOT mention Eowyn…

13

Probably a contact poison placed by the Black Hats. They wouldn’t know you’re immune to such things.

14

Mention Eowyn. It’s not like I’m not going to threaten you either way.

15

Last time I was abducted by aliens they were less competent than normal. My memory wasn’t wiped properly and I found probe lubricant in a number of unusual places. But I’m just being paranoid. You go ahead and eat that cruller with those hands.

16

Snuffleupagus boogers.

17

The Snuffleupagi are extinct. I killed the last family myself, eating the mother’s heart in front of her pups before putting them out of their misery. That is why Big Bird, Ernie & Bert, and Kermit all hate me.

Don’t believe anything you see on Sesame Street. They’ve been lying to us for years.

18

The sticky stuff is from Kermit. You really don’t want to know, but Miss Piggy was involved.

19

Don’t believe ANYTHING? All those letters and numbers were lies? O G

20

It is the Ichor of the Sons of the Bird.