Borg assimilation gel. The Collective realized that if you’ve got nanomachines that can digest and modify humanoid tissue, there really isn’t a need to break the skin with a needle - anything that will keep your nanobots in contact with skin long enough to assimilate and penetrate it will do fine. Hence, assimilation gel, smeared by time-traveling drones on things people are likely to touch.
Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. Your technology and culture, including your loathing of all things Welsh, will be adapted to service the Borg.
I have no idea what any of that means. But since I have to take the shrieky voice remark as a insult to the goddess, you have forced me to release the spiders.
The sticky crap is, in fact, crap. Specifically, bedbug crap. You are infested. Don’t scratch - it’ll only make it worse. The only hope is to fill your bathtub with cider vinegar, rub olive oil all over your body before submerging in the tub, and finish with garlic powder in place of talcum powder.
But first, you must burn all your clothing, shave all your body hair, and call everyone you’ve had contact with in the last 37 hours…
I showered once and washed my hands twice between making the bed and discovering the mysterious crap. Clearly it cannot be the waste of Cimex lectularius.
Now come up with a better answer, or I will taunt you a second time.
I do not loathe all things Welsh. Never said I did. it is merely their dark Prince I want smothered in caterpillars. I mean, yes, I have disdan and pity for the Welsh people, but it’s not loathing.
And even that doesn’t apply to Duffy, on account of the awesomeness.
It’s obvious that you have multiple personality disorder and one of your alts was making extra money giving handjobs. If you haven’t found the extra money then that alt personality is just a slut and doing it for free.
I think you’re just not very good at hand washing, and didn’t notice until you were idle for a minute waiting in line. So, it was leftovers from breakfast.
No! The SECOND diagnosis is lupus. Skald is to be diagnosed with an allergy to light, which causes him to produce excessive mucous…THEN when this is wrong, it is lupus, and when it’s NOT lupus, you go to insult/consult your colleagues. THEN, when they are as dumbfounded as you are, you will, by the power of random association, reveal that it is cystic fibrosis, caused by a mutated virus that attacks the chloride channels in your fingers, coupled with a prion condition that turns your epidermal cells into epithelial secretory cells.
You fool. The radioactive spider does not give you webbing–only the genetically modified ones that happen to be the exact shade of red and blue. If you get bit by the radioactive spider, you have to make the web youself.
Yeah, that was supposed to be an impression of Skald. Sucks, doesn’t it?