Oh, hey, I’m really sorry about that. Maybe the Japanese have it right - maybe we should just bow to one another. Gosh… this is REALLY awkward…
It’s leftover lickspittle from FairyChatMom.
Clearly she liked your flavour, and is now manouvering you into the soup pot.
The Snuffleupagi are extinct?!! Noooo!!!
Out, Out, damned spot!
Don’t listen to him. I have one hidden under my bed right now, between the dust bunnies and the lost socks. There’s a large Snuffleupagi Underground Railroad working to bring them to safety. We call it the Rainbow Connection. 
Oh, that was me, sorry about that :Hands Skald a towel:
A rabid Ben Stiller fan broke into your house and reenacted The Scene from There’s Something About Mary. However, instead of the emission ending up on the masturbator’s ear, it got lost on the doorknob. You were just too distracted with fantasies of coffee to notice.
It’s not clear to me why you would write this where I can read it.
I cannot believe you people let this go by.
You’re melting, I’m afraid.
Soon, there will be nothing left, but a puddle of rapidly rancidifying goo.
If it’s The Rapture, can I have your car?
Ectoplasm. But don’t worry - bustin’ makes you feel good.
You don’t have a puppy, do you? A three-metre-tall invisible puppy, energetic, slobbery, likes to chew on leather upholstery, cars, and 6 x 6 timbers, and answers to the name of Smidgen? No?
Are you sure?