What's WITH all these "enlarge your penis" ads & etc?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Does the fact that I have never for so much as a fleeting moment paused to wonder if maybe my penis isn’t big enough really make me unusual among guys? What’s the deal here?

As far as women and their potential sexual interest in (and availability to) me is concerned, the way I figure it, there are “potential positives”, i.e., aspects of yourself that, if present, might draw women to you; and there are “potential negatives”, i.e., aspects of yourself that, if present, might repel women away from you.

Like, let’s say my long hair has decently strong potential for both. Realisticallly while some women might see long hair as a real positive there probably aren’t many women who would bed me solely because of it, whereas there are women who would scratch me off their list because of it. So for long hair we could say 3/7 where 3 is its potential positive and 7 is its potential negative.

Penis size? 0/3, I’d say. Zero for potential positive because no one–or at least few enough women to get the rounded average above zero on a rating scale that maxes out at 10–is gonna choose a guy based on penis size as a potential positive. Among other things, they aren’t going to know my penis size until other factors have completely covered the territory as far as what leads them to fall in bed with me. As for potential negative, the only worry here is that, after all else has been said and done (and by the time the pants are dropping a lot has been said and for at least once around the sheets it’s likely that a lot will get done), the female in question scratches me from her “maybe again” list because my penis is too small. I would imagine that this would only be an issue if mine were so far below average that having sex with me was an underwhelming disappointment, and even then only if the She in question rated the penile-insertion part of sex pretty high against the other things that an amorous couple can do with erogenous zones and a comfortable place to do them in.

So based on that, I figure penis size would come out ranking, factor-wise, somewhere below:

height
tummy size & shape
hair length
tidiness of hair & other grooming
tightness/fit of clothing
pectoral muscles
underarm hair or absence thereof
skin texture
eye color
degree to which shoes are shined
gait and balance
shoulder width
timbre of voice
fingernails
teeth
scent of skin
shape of eyebrows
type of socks worn
absense or presence of mole on face
ear shape
adam’s apple size
calf muscles
toenail shape
…and that’s not even getting into deeper personality and behavioral characteristics yet!

So…from whence this cultural insistence that guys are all running around concerned about the size of their penii? I just don’t get it. It seems on a gut level like a spectacularly silly thing to worry about, and there’s certainly no rational reason to do so. So would I be correct in assuming that most other guys don’t fret about this either, and that for some reason the few who do constitute a really gullible market or something?

2

Because 90% of the Internet is porn, and 90% of guys with access to the Internet look at it. It’s actually pretty clever, if you think about it.

3

And I click on some porn if I wasn’t in such a stupor from all the Soma, Zanex, Hydrocordone, etc. I’ve been taking with my Viagra and Ritalin. Almost enough to make me not want to look at my Top 5000 stock picks of the day.

4

it matters

5

Many guys are under the mistaken impression that sex is just so much more fabulous if your member is the size of a coffee can. They also envision their women being tighter than virginal Kegel professionals. I have no idea how they think they’re going to fit a coffee can in that small a hole, but fortunately this is not something I have to spend lots of time pondering.

These are generally not the guys who get dicks that size put inside them. They do, however, have insecurities in this area and are willing to pay (sometimes) for something that might make them bigger.

They also generally lack the balls (as opposed to penis) to ask a woman “Is 6 inches too short?” when what they should really be asking is “how thin is too thin?”:wink:

I should further note that, from reading several SDMB threads on the topic of penis size, it is infinitely more preferable (at least, that’s the concensus opinion IIRC) to have a penis be too small rather than too large. The former, one can always substitute something else (viz. “let’s just cuddle”).

The latter is downright painful.

6

I think that puts you in a minority. The penis is the symbol of masculinity for obvious reasons, so it’s natural to think that bigger penis = more masculine. It must be pretty common - I remember sex-education films in secondary school aimed at penis size insecurity (“Imagine this test tube is a penis. If you look down at your own penis like this, it looks short because of the angle. If you look at someone else’s, like this, it looks longer than yours. It’s just an optical illusion.”) While I’ve never even considered buying a penis-enlargement device of drug of any kind, I have wondered where I am on the bell curve.

According to the Wired article “Swollen Orders Show Spam’s Allure”, selling penis enlargement pills through spam is quite a profitable business.

7

[nitpick] Ahem, the correct plural is “penes”, much like “axis/axes”. The “i” ending is for words that end in “us” (octopi, cacti, etc.)

Frank Holloway

8

I’m more curious about the glut of identically-phrased spam messages. Is there a MLM group selling these? When most of these people go broke, will we see a decrease in the e-mails?

9

I, for one, am not interested in supersizing. It ain’t the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

10

From my experience: if your method is “poke poke, jab jab, thrust thrust, oh god that was grat” then you had better have a monster.
However, if you have more creativity, style and finesse (and time) then other body parts can step up to the plate and aim for a home run!

I am not particularily tactile sensitive inside but WHOA! rub my clit and watch me explode!

blushes EEP!

11

So, Krisfer, from one Cat to another, how you doin’? :smiley:

12

Well after having seen several threads on penis size and many women complaining of oversize monsters hurting more than helping. Including a workmate who told a very funny story of a huge guy that didnt give her any pleasure being split in two. I have come to the conclusion that being average or near average is better than too big… helps when you ask for anal sex too… dont want to scare her outright from the idea.

I think the problem is only with too small guys… but then who knows what is small if you never see other men with erections ? :slight_smile:

13

I know quite a few free ways to enlarge a penis… granted the enlargement is temporary but really… do you need an erection 24 hours a day?

Frankly I cannot imagine what it would be like to have sex with a ‘coffee can’ as Iampunah put it :slight_smile: That’d hurt like crazy :slight_smile:

What cracks me up is that I get all this spam. I like to ask the hubby if he thinks I need a bigger penis or a way to keep my erection longer. My favorite ones are the barnyard sex video offers… yeah baby show me the cows and horses! :confused:

Oh and Krisfer… that’s sig material for certain! And I second the sentiment… Penetration is fun but not nearly as earth shattering as direct clitoral stimulation.

14

Well, tanookie, I keep getting ads for bigger boobs, so I guess we are even.

I’m average, but I always want a bigger one just to see what it feels like (temporarily) to lift one.

Other than that, I’m satisfied.

Bob

15

Doing good… was bored all day. Went to work and am tired… no one here to ummm help with the other issues.:frowning:

16

I get both… hell bigger boobs and I’d never be able to get up on my own if I fell forward.

See I was trying to say that but I jist cain’t remember all them high fallootin words!:wink: Earth shattering is right…looks around to see who might be listening also a good way to find out what my vocal range is:D But honestly my skin is so sensitive I have been known to orgasm off a good backrub!

What do I care how big his penis is… long as we both have fun!

17

I respond to every ad like that I get. My penis is now 15 metres long.

18

Why not consolidate all your monthly penis enlargements into one easily managable penis enlargement?

19

What I find utterly hilarious is when I get spam addressed to ME personally promising to increase the size of my penis. I find that highly unlikely considering I don’t have one to begin with!

20

Frankly, the whole thing is man-bashing and insulting. The whole point of view is that if two peole desire a “tighter fit” then the man needs to get his penis enlarged.

I say, fuck that. You want a tighter fit, make your hole smaller!!!