No, really. I get this all the time. My friends really do call me “XXY.” I have a motorcycle license. I have worked as a mechanic. I have brewed beer. I tend to use linear thought. I am constantly thinking about sex, and turn most conversation topics into raunchy innuendo. I enjoy getting dirty. I like to solve problems, particularly the home-engineering type. I am ridiculously competitive. I am stoic. I have attended bachelor parties as one of the guys. I have attended poker night as one of the guys. I enjoy the occasional cigar. I adore science fiction books and action films. I prefer dogs to cats. I like porn. I can four-wheel. I have had jobs where I wear a hard-hat. I like to see naked women. I can belch better than anyone.
On the other hand, I own over 10 pairs of shoes, countless creams and moisturizers, know lots about herbs and vegetable growing, cry at commercials, get PMS, have long hair, and prefer female vocalists to male. I wear skirts. I love babies. You get the picture.
Ask the language and linguistics nut who sort of speaks 11 languages.
Ask the guy who somehow got himself a scholarship to do his Ph.D. in robotics in Tokyo University and who arrived to Japan without speaking a word of Japanese.
Ask the guy who performed a prank on one of his teachers at college that almost gave a heart attack to the poor man.
Ask the “Futurama” fan.
Ask the divorced guy whose daughter is now living in Moscow with her mom.
Ask the patent examiner who somehowl manages to avoid insanity, even after seeing patents for talking vibrators .
-Ask the French Canadian guy living in Calgary
-Ask the French Canadian guy who married an Indo-Canadian Lady
-Ask the self-proclaimed medical groupy (*spelling? masculin version?? *)
-Ask the novice skydiver who had to hang up the rig till kid(s) turn 18 ( blue skies, indyz !)
-Ask the tall ship / wood navy history nut / Patrick O’Brian fan
-Ask the Robert B. Parker fan
-Ask the fountain pen nut
-Ask the Wireless Voice over IP Product Manager
Ask the guitar player
Ask Radio Host
Ask the guy who is currently procrastinating an essay
Ask the guy who can’t afford to buy lunch
Ask the Strongbad fanatic
Ask the music teacher
Ask the guy who has a chemical addiction to potato chips
-Ask the frat boy (done this one)
-Ask the (former) pizza guy
-Ask the (fmr.) theme park employee
-Ask the sunglass salesperson (working on this one, I start Friday)
-Ask the guy who moved from England to the US
-Ask the Indian guy (dots, not feathers) although there are much better people to ask
-Ask the (fmr.) six-day-a-week drunk (although I can’t imagine what you could possibly want to know)
-ask the pro wrestling geek
-ask the fantasy (American) football geek
-ask the UCF student
-ask the guy who knows a guy who runs “payroll” for the mob
-ask the motel manager
-ask the pharmacy tech
-ask the fencer
-ask the Queensryche fan
-ask the guy who read all of Salman Rushdie’s books eight times and asked him about a few of them
-ask the Hyundai driver
-ask the parade floatbuilder
-and finally, ask the guy who knows stuff about Oman, and about mideast politics in general
I know what they are… but I thought they were all up in the Clinches…?
I should probably let Nichol explain, but essential a Melungeon is a really dark skinned white person. They live (mostly I guess) in backwoods Tennessee.
Canadian (again).
Technical writer (again).
Guy who’s taking French.
Guy who speaks Esperanto.
Guy who likes electronica but is too old to go clubbing.
Secular neo-pagan.
Torontonian.
Second-generation Canadian born of English ancestors.
Guy who knows the difference between English and British.
Child of generations of socialist ancestors.
Guy whose sister wanted to be an astronaut, but was told that “there’s no need for poets in space”.
Guy who’s had more success on LavaLife in the past year than he ever did in RealLife during the past ten years.
Cartoon fanatic.
Guy who’s written Devilbunny stories.
Guy who likes plump women, but not only plump women.
Sheila Chandra fan.
Kate Bush fan.
Loreena McKennitt fan (you get the idea…)
Ask the girl who survived Catholic school
Ask the music lover (don’t even play an instrument…)
Ask the future pyrotechnician
Ask the girl who can understand (but not speak) German simply from listening to Rammstein.
Ask the girl who can move her eyes independently
Ask the Terry Pratchett freak
Ask the factory worker single mother of a special needs child who’s unintentionally celibate.
And if you do, pretend there are many other interesting aspects of my life that I simply didn’t list so as to not be redundant. Yes, let’s all pretend that for me together.
Mostly happy and upbeat person
Grammar nut
Jehovah’s Witness
Technical writer (fourth one, I think)
QC analyst
Employee of a still-existing Internet startup
Atypical (young) Sjogren’s syndrome sufferer
Lover of books (and magazines … and, when desperate, the backs of cereal boxes)
Newbie Atkins dieter
Producer of yummy baked goods
Maker of The World’s Best Deviled Eggs™ *
Woman who doesn’t know if she wants kids even though she loves 'em
Woman closer to her husband’s family than her own
Woman who married her best friend after knowing him for 14 years
Former journalism student (no degree)
Former CIS student (degree)
Aspiring writer who rarely ever writes anything
Keeper of tropical fish
Amateur (very amateur) furniture refinisher
*Hubris disclaimer: I don’t claim this one for myself; it’s a title given to me by a friend.
Ask the undergraduate economics and philosophy student - though preferably not about economics or philosophy
Ask the guy who’s dating an older women (err, slightly)
Ask the manager of a university computer lab
Ask the former Randian Objectivist/current libertarian
Ask the spineless weasel about how to avoid normal, everyday stuff of which you’re irrationally fearful
Ask the human cookie monster (really. I mean it)
blue skies, indyz !)