What's your "Ask The [blank]"?

There are so many “Ask the …” threads out there. I was thinking, maybe I should start one, but then I couldn’t decide what to put.
I’d rather find out what weird and wonderful areas of expertise you all have.

I could put :
[ul]
[li]Ask the Trainee British Policeman[/li][li]Ask the International Poet[/li][li]Ask the Magic the Gathering Pro Tour Player[/li][li]Ask the Old Skool Raver[/li][li]Ask the Cornishman[/li][/ul]
So, what common, unusual or just plain bizarre field of knowledge/experience do you have?

[ul]
[li]Ask the pub quiz reader[/li][li]Ask the Kevin Smith afficionado[/li][li]Ask the cheap red wine drinker - none of that poncy crap![/li][li]Ask the olive and feta cheese addict[/li][/ul]

Yay. I hope no-one does, though. Just in case iI have to do battle for the right to remain.

[ul]
[li]Ask the pocket watch expert[/li][li]Ask the inactive Mormon[/li][li]Ask the classically trained singer[/li][li]Ask the Godzilla fan[/li][li]Ask the technical writer[/li][/ul]

Nothing earth-shattering, I’m afraid…

Barry

[ul]
[li]Ask the Environmental Psychologist[/li][li]Ask the college Instructor[/li][li]Ask the hang glider[/li][li]Ask the avid hiker[/li][/ul]

Ask the single mom
Ask the Connect Four champion of greater Chicagoland
Ask the administrative temp
Ask the person who likes to make mosaics but has little time or opportunity to do them
Ask the walking reader

Jeez. That’s about it. I’m a jack of all trades, master of none. Maybe jack of some trades.

Here we go:
[ul]
[li]Ask the philosopher,[/li][li]Ask the Dutch lawyer,[/li][li]Ask the Dutchman (actually there’s enough competition in this area, eh, Coldfire?),[/li][li]Ask … ehhhh.[/li][/ul]
Man, this is disappointing. I used to pride myself on having a rather wide and varied knowledge, but reading the posts in GQ makes me realize that in most subjects I’m just a rank amateur. (Still I just post anyway: lots of 2 cents should add up to a significant amount, no?) I do have a knack for remembering certain kinds of silly facts (what Brits call pub knowledge), unfortunately that’s not really a subject you can ask about.

It’s trickier than it looks!

[ul]
[li]Ask the Certified Floodplain Manager[/li][/ul]

[sub]what… why you lookin’ at me like that?[/sub]

Ask the British liberal (but not in the UK party political sense) war hawk.

[ul]
[li]Ask the semiconductor engineer[/li][li]Ask the science fiction book fan oh yeah, as if that one were unique around here[/li][li]Ask the Boy Scout leader[/li][/ul]
I think I can sum mine up with “Ask the walking cure for insomnia.”

Ask the former international communication top secret data collection adminstrator.
– but unfortunately for too many questions I would have to refuse to answer because of the nature of the job

Ask the depressed neuro-physicist

Ask the dude who likes food, San Francisco, and being a Bohemian

Cheers, Bippy

[ul]Ask the bloke who thinks he knows more than he actually does.[/ul]

Ask the technical writer
Ask the amateur novelist
Ask the fledgling RPG freelancer
Ask the RPG gamer (or Shadowrun nut in particular)

I’m sorta boring, really…I know a little about a lot, but a lot about not much.

Ask the:

Director of Information Services and Planning (which means jack, basically, but it sounds good, no?)

Graduate of a predominantly/historically Black womens’ college

Spoiled little princess (most of the time)

Dork who secretly believes that if the Gilmore Girls (and Sookie) were real people, I’d be their best friend

Ask the Receptionist/Assistant HR Clerk
Ask the Amateur Herpetologist
Ask the divorcee

I’ve got some somewhat unusual ones

  • Ask the extended breastfeeder (3.25 years)
  • Ask the PK (preacher’s kid)
  • Ask the hypnobirther and pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding information junkie (okay, maybe that second part isn’t unusual)
  • Ask the technical writer (oh, wait, that one is covered)
  • Ask the Internationalization/Writing-for-translation expert
  • Ask the compulsive researcher
  • Ask the childhood abuse survivor (DDNOS, recovered)
  • Ask the Pagan UniFriend (Quaker/UU/Pagan)
  • Ask the middle-eastern/beledi/belly-dancer (already covered elsewhere, too)
  • Ask the aspiring children’s book author (and other genre’s)
  • Ask the woman who is still friends with nearly all her ex-boyfriends and her ex-fiance’, for real (three were in our wedding party, including the ex-fiance’)

I actually have considered starting a thread on the first one, but I wouldn’t have time to maintain it, as I don’t get here every day. It does get kicked around as a topic now and then, though…

And, because I usually forget, let me just include my sig, which attaches me by association to one of the greatest of all ‘Ask the’ threads…

SIG (forgot that you have to check it again on preview… )

Sigh.

Ask the SCUBA instructor
Ask the EMT
Ask the former cruise ship employee

Ask the heavily tattooed guy

That’s pretty much it. Nothing else makes me terribly distinctive, although I would like to do

Ask somebody else, I’m busy

Well if you were the Director of Information Retrival…

as for me

Ask the
[ul]
[li]the exhibitor service rep[/li][li]the guy who wants to boink your sister[/li][li]the guy who never finished college[/li][li]the guy who snores a lot about how his sleep study is going[/li][li]the guy who is tired[/li][li]the former Okie[/li][/ul]