I’ll be a son of a sawed off lollipop lickin’ basketball bouncin’ biscuit eatin’ straw suckin’ siberian bull dog!
Ayesha, I must say that was one of the nastiest things I’ve heard from a woman in a long time!
I love nasty women.
I do try to please dear. 
Once had a boss who made sailors jealous. His fave (and mine, since I stole it) was:
goddamn mother fuckin’ sister grabbin’ father rapin’ cunt wipin’ piece of skunk shit.
or U could B creative and combine things like “carn god fluggering shunt bint!!!” or something in latin “OH ME MISERUM! CANNES MORTUS EST!” which I think translates into “oh miserable me! the dog is dead!”
Fuck me up the ass with 10,000 lesbian guinea pigs!
Our fearless leader mentioned one that I have never used, but greatly admire: “I shit on God, on the cross, on the carpenter who made it and on the son of a whore who planted the pine.” Try to learn it in the original Catalan. Oh, and here’s the link.
I go for the descri[tive myself:
"Godamn late-ass, rusty Stinkin’ fuckin’ milk shirt Briefcase key cock, Shit piss rat fuck in the other fucking dead battery no good sonuvabitching car. So Fuck YOU!!
Maybe it just sounds good.
But if I’m really pissed, I’ll hiss: “Son of a Bitch!,” through clenched teeth.
Guess I’m not all that imaginative.
“Annie-fucking-Christmas.” I swear to God, that’s
what I say.
Well, if things got as bad as were described in the OP, I might have to resort to the ultimate:
Oh, poo!
Goddamn Fuckin’ Peckerhead Prick!
“That sucks a big green donkey dick” ???
Mother-fucking-shit-sucking-COCKSUCKER!!! It’s said in a crescendo that begins with an almost-silent “Mother” and ends with me screaming “COCKSUCKER” and slamming something inanimate (table, car, wall, my skull) with my fist. I’ve also learned from experience not to say it when my six-year old niece is in the next room watching “Rugrats” (sorry, sis). I’m probably going to start saying “God’s Cock!” from now on, though (thanx, BigGiantHead!). 
I’d curse in French.
“Hostie d’crisse de saint-sacrement de calice de tabernacle!”
Literal translation: “Communion wafer of Christ of the holy sacrament of a chalice of a tabernacle!”
Alternatively, we have Catalan: “Mecagum Deu, en la creu, en el fuster que la feu, i en el fill de puta que va plantar el pi!” As mentioned above. Yes, I really do use this, even though I’m unclear on pronunciation.
Or Spanish: “Me cago en la leche de la puta madre que te parió!” (I shit in the milk of the whorish mother who bore you!"
Or simply: Aw Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ on a crutch!
my best cursin was about 2-5 minutes of 4 syllable words in hs English class at a kid who just pissed me off that day. stunned the class, got a compliment from the teacher and one of my friends told the kid on the recieving end that he had 30 minutes and a dictinary to come up with a reply. to bad I forgot what I said, but it made the school year
If I feel restricted from using an expletive to vent frustration, I will scream “EXPLETIVE” and confuse all around me. It makes me feel better than an actual expletive.
Just one word, thats all I need, just one word…
JJJJJEEEEEEEEBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
And its all good…Thank you Homer
I have taken to saying “Great leepin’ Jebus!” when provoked.
However in a situation as described in the OP, I launch into a loud faux-foreign language rant. Totaly make up words on the fly. It usualy sounds like russian for some reason…
My new favorite one, given by, I think, Euty, is “L. Ron Fuckin’ Hubbard!” I have actually started using this on a regular basis!
A common oath in my hometown in times of adversity was “shit on me”. Simple, vulgar, evocative!
I swear a lot in daily life, so when something really honks me off, I generally revert to non-curses, such as tomndebb’s “oh, poo.” I’ve been trying to curb my language anyway, since I do have small children. My grandmother has some good ones, that I’ve been working in to my vocabulary:
“What in the Sam Hill…”
“Sugar jets!”
and my personal favorite, “Baloney fat!”