Whenever anyone says anything nasty about me, I just say in a very haughty voice “It’s a good thing I don’t give a damn about your opinion of me.”
I never cuss people out. That way, when they use swear words about me, I can say in a confused, shocked voice “Why are you swearing at me? I don’t swear at you.” Shuts them up.
Cervaise’s Pit thread entitled The Telemarketer Speaks - I Respond is the greatest flame in the history of the English language.
Second place goes to a flame that I don’t remember the source of, but a version of it is posted on Opal’s Page o’ Flames -
And sirtonyh - thanks for the warm fuzzies.
Regards,
Shodan
I know I’ve seen this on a sitcom. Simpsons, maybe? Seinfeld? That Muppet Christmas show from last year?
“May your daughter grow to look like your mistress, and your misterss to look like your wife.”
From Jim Cornette, NWA wrestling manager during the 80’s:
“If brains was gasoline, you wouldn’t have enough to power a flea’s motorcycle around a dewdrop!”
I feel sorry for your steak, what kind of letdown would it be to be eaten by a dunce of your magnitude…asspirate.
You are so dense, light bends around you.
For the skanks I know:
You’re like a vaccuum cleaner, you suck, blow, get laid in the closet, and even you mother turns you on.
When someone is looking at me I say to them: “Nice Head”
When I beat someone in anything: “First (insert mutual friends name) f**ks your wife, now this!”
Living in southern New Mexico, a confused look and a simple “You MUST be a native” works quite well.
He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if you told him the label was on the heel.
I’ve seen more productivity from someone in a coma.
3000 years of language development and the best you can come up with is, “Fuck you?”
An oldy but a goody:
If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.
I can’t believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest.
quote: Steven Pearl
“You and me have something in common.”
“What?”
“We’ve both been inside your mom.”
I tend to prefer the subtler insults. The best insults, IMHO, are the ones that at first glance appear to be a compliment. They sometimes require a bit of setup on the part of the insultee, as in the following example:
Insultee: “You probably think I’m stupid/crazy/insane/____, don’t you?”
jweb: “I never would have said that out loud.”
For another example, consider the phrase “I could never underestimate your intelligence”
You SUCK with such a passion, the very whores of ancient Rome would be jealous!
(as riposte)
That sounds like something you would say!
Nee!
Hee hee hee