My default “sudden fear” curse is…
Jeezus FUCKING CHRIST!!!
…like, when I’m convinced I’m about to be in a head-on collision with a truck.
There’s my “amazement” curse, something like…
HO-lee SHIT!!
Then there’s my “annoyed with myself for a stupid mistake” curse, which is…
Gahd-DAMMit!!
Then there’s my “annoyed with somebody else for something stupid they did” curse…
MUther FUCKer!!
Then, finally, there’s my “exasperated” curse, which I picked up in Ireland…
Oh for fuck’s sake.
I like the versatility of fuck.
Fuck you: I hate you. I hope your genitals grow mold and fall off.
Fuck off: Leave me alone before I send my dogs after you.
Fuck me!: No way! For real?
Fuck this: I give up, this is absolutely impossible.
Fuck that!: You think I’m going to do that? You’re nuts.
Fuck: I just did something I really, really shouldn’t have done. Or didn’t do something I really, really should have.
What the fuck?: Of all conceivable stupid things to say/do/experience, this is the absolute stupidest I’ve ever encountered.
I got fucked: They took my money and did not provide the services or quality goods they said they would.
Fuckers!: People who are forcing me to use the expletives described above.
In French mode, I rely on the relatively tame “Maudit”. When extremely mad I fall back on “calisse-de-tabarnac!” (spelled phonetically for those who wish to learn multi-lingual swearing)
It used to be: ‘gggggodverdomme’ until the English language nearly took over Dutch.
I said: “Shit” , because it was short and to the point, until an American lady told me how shocking that word is.
I try to say: ‘Shoot’ now. With an occasional: ‘gggggodverdomme’ thrown in.
::sigh:: I wish I didn’t. I wish I’d say: “Jeepers Creepers” or something like that. Far more lady-like. 
There’s my default right there. A former friend used to say it all the time. I eventually picked it up from him, and now I say it all the time.
I hate it. I REALLY hate it. But I can’t seem to stop saying it. :smack:
“Scheisse” or “Merde” are my default terms when whatever it is that caused me to swear is something I’ve had a moment to think about.
If it’s something sudden, however, like some mook veering into my freeway lane and slamming on the brakes, it’s “Jeeesus FUCKING Christ!”, followed, usually, by a bit of incoherent spluttering.
“Damn” covers most situations for me.
Rare occasions (such as the outboard falling off the dock) elicit a “shit-fire.”
Jesus Fucking Christ. Doesn’t offend me, because I’m an atheist, but whooo boy some of the looks I’ve drawn with that one. I try not to use it in company I’m not familiar with, but the situations that lead me to use it are usually such that I’m not thinking too much about what someone might think of my reaction.
I tend to alternate between “Goddamnmotherfuckingassholeshitheadsonofabitchbastard” and “Jesusmotherfuckinggoddamnchrist.”
After my time in the Navy I reluctantly realized that I wasn’t going to be able to excise explitives from my ejaculations, so I came up with a pair that I could use with relative impunity in the US.
First, and most common, is a Brit-ism: Bugger, and the variations, based on my level of frustration and anger, bugger all, and bugger all the little fishies.
Following that is a pretty bad pun: Hoover.
At least now I don’t have to worry about getting slapped in supermarkets anymore. :smack:
It just depends, if there are children or people who may be offended around I try to go with something like frogs or if more is required it’s frogs, frogs in the underwear
If there are no littles around and I don’t edit myself it’s usually -
Fuck
Fuck me
Fuck me running
Fuck me naked and hide my clothes
Fuck me running and naked and hide my clothes
I have been known to be so angry all I can do is shake and cry, if it reachs that point I can’t speak. That’s when it’s best to just walk away.
“Bloody thunderfuck!” for when I’m exasperated, “Jesus shit-eating Christ!” for when I’m right pissed off and there’s no one in earshot.
I imagine I’d have a spot of trouble using that latter one in public.
Well, you, sir, have a brilliant career in PORN ahead of you.
For have we not, as some well-hung gentleman blows his load onto some-or-other orifice, heard him shout “Ohhhh…fuck. FUCK! Awwww yeeeeahhh…awww FUCK! Awww…shit. Aw, you like that bitch? Yeah, you like it when I fucking cum, right? Yeeeaahh.”
Ah, just you wait. One day, the nursing home staff will tell your kids “well, we’re having a problem with Achren’s language…”
No, really. I’m not kidding. When my granny got into her 90s :eek: the stuff that would come out of that potty mouth of hers!! :eek: I couldn’t fathom that she even knew some of that stuff! I didn’t even know some of that stuff!
Whooops… :smack:
Fuck it all: I give up and wash my hands of this fucking nonsense.
Fuck you and your little dog too: I hate you and anyone else associated with you.
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on: See above.
Go Fuck Yourself: Self Explanatory.
We’re Fucked: Shit just hit the fan and we are standing in front of it.
Basically Fucked: No matter what we do, we are going to come out with the short end of the stick and it will be up our ass. This is also the name of my new Political Party and would be an awesome name for a band.
I’m so fucked. duel meaning: very drunked or so very about to get screwed in a non biblical way.
Fucktard A very popular expletive with unknown origin. Combining Fucker and Retard. Much easier to say than *UnlubricatedGraphicSexMentallyChallengedPerson. *
Don’t Fuck With Me. I’m about to go postal and open a can of whoopass.
Fuckin’ A: Confirmation between like minded people. “She’s a total skanky whore, but I’d do her in a heart beat.” " Fuckin’ A, man. Fuckin’ A."
What the Fuck was That? Did you see what I see?
Ab-so-Fucking-Lutely Yeah, I’m with you on that one in a big way.
** Shut the fuck up, Donny!** no explanation needed.
When an actual obscenity comes out, it’s usually ‘bitch’.
I’m not referring to any person, animal, spirit, or item, it’s more like you’d normally use ‘fuck’.
More often, though, are ‘Grife’, ‘Frell’, and ‘Puckernuts’.
“Belgium!”
“Oh dammit” is a favorite of mine. Others are “Jesus Christ on a bicycle” and “holy holy crap.”
i tend to use a large percentage of 'Scaperisms…
Frell
Dren
Hezmana
Fahrbot
i.e.
what the hezmana is wrong with this frelling drenhead driver, can’t he find the frelling gas pedal
'scaperisms are just obscure enough to pass by people’s swear filter, while making the intent known…
plus they’re just plain fun to say, and no one can get mad at you because you’re not really swearing… 