FUUUCK! followed closely by Mercy Sakes!
Comes out something like: FUUUUCKmerceeeSAKES!
It’s a long story, but trust me, that’s my default :rolleyes:
I have many!
Probably my most common is “Fizz!” or “Piss!”, used like “Fuck!” Also, used like “fucking”, I say “fizzing”.
“Crap!” “Shite!” “Dang!” “Fark!” “Frak!”
And there aren’t many people I’ll say these around, typically my best friends, but…
Crappin’ Cunts!
Jesus Shitfuck!
Helldamnfart!
Lately I’ve developed a fondness for “Son of a cock-whore!” When in pain, however, the first thing leaving my lips is usually “SHIT!”
I’m reminded of an episode of South Park … but never mind that. I feel I should point out that I didn’t mean that literally.
My usual standard, under extreme frustration, is “Gaaaa-dammit!” On occasion, you’ll hear an exasperated “Monkey BUTT!”. This is useful in situations such as when the computer repeatedly refuses to print the one-page document I desperately need to have ready five minutes ago.
motherfuck!
Feck is my default swear, but I’ll swap the vowel if the coast is clear.
It’s usually more “feck that fecking fecker” than anything else.
My Aunt has a very funny swear “fuckbuggerbumshitballs” said at top speed and under her breath. It’s like a subliminal swear…you know she said something, you just don’t know what it was.
been trying to clean it up for the sake of little pitcher’s ears, so more often it’s simply motherpancaking pancaker.
Goodness—I don’t know whether to say “band name!” or “see a doctor!”
As a Christian, I am not offended by that at all. In fact, I use it and am trying to curb it, but it’s just there and it’s so easy to use. In fact, I probably use the Savior’s name more often in a bad way than I do in a good way. 
Hahahaha! Thank you, sir, for brightening up my day.
When I’m pissed off, I’ll yell fuck…ass, and if I’m really pissed off, will add “hard, with no lubrication”.
As a general rule, I’ve found that it’s better to add more descriptive words rather than more cuss words when you’re pissed off at something. For example, I prefer not to use: “Those damn cops gave me a ticket I didn’t deserve. They are nothing but a bunch of stupid, dumbass, fuckhead, dickless piles of shit.” Instead, I prefer to use: “Those damn cops gave me a ticket I didn’t deserve. They are nothing but a bunch of *nauseating, warm, ripe, steaming * piles of shit.”
Barbra Streisand!!!
Seriously, though, I just say “damn”. Not because it’s less offensive than “fuck” or “shit” but because it’s unexpected. It rasies eyebrows when I’m speaking Hebrew, especially; everyone expects Americans to say “shit”, but who says “damn” anymore?
Reminds me of when I first heard that women were teaching their toddlers names for body parts, easier to let them believe they pee with their vagina ('gina) rather than try and wrap their little tongues around the word Urethra …
And my thought was that anyone peeing from their vagina must have had one helluva tear.
I picked up the " God …
…
…
Damn!"
from Didi Snavley of Tuna, Texas, fame and specifically fromA Tuna Christmas. Every time Didi swears she says “God” (said very gutturally, almost like Gott) then takes a long drag on her cigarette pauses and spits out “Damn”
When I stub my toe, it’s usually, "Son of a whore!!"
But when I’m doing something that’s frustrating me, it’s "Oh for fuck’s sake!"
Wouldn’t have a fucking clue.
Said recently while dropping cut veggies on the floor:
godDAMMITandtohell, anyway!
It occurs to me that this is not such a wonderful default with a three-year-old in easy earshot, but hopefully the mumbling aspect is overwhelming the loud aspect.
:rolleyes: Sure, and someday I’ll wean myself of my other default, “Hot Fuck Sandwich!” around the time I can drink my weight in polar-icecap-meltoff every day.
What’s particularly hysterical about this one is when it comes from my mother-in-law. She was raised Baptist, and I’ve been told that “goddamn” is the worst possble, end all be all curse word that you could say in front of her (or her husband, for that matter). Or their parents (my grandparents-in-law?). However, several times I’ve heard her bust out the “Jesus Fucking Christ.” And this is preferable to “goddamn?” Wow. I’ve asked SpouseO about this numerous times - he doesn’t understand it either.
I’m really going to have to watch it over Thanksgiving - we’re headed to said grandparents-in-law’s house. 'Course, so will she.
“dang” or, if I’m really riled up, “goddangit”. It makes me sound like a totaly rube but I can’t break the habit.
Unfortunately, my default is “fuck”. Just last night I was dismayed with myself for using it, without thinking, three times in one sentence. It rolls right over my husband, who is used to it. I get on a weird streak, swearing like a sailor over nothing at all. I could be having the politest conversation, and it will slip in. I blame my parents - they strictly forbid, even today, cursing in their home, and as their child, I am forbidden to curse in front of them. Growing up this constipated, I would go to school and spurt this diarrhea from my mouth. Now, whenever my parents aren’t around, I unreasonably assume that they are aliens, and every normal person cusses. This has led to bad situations. I’m going to hell. I’ve been told.
Since moving to the US, I’ve “adjusted” my accent to blend in better here - when I first moved, I got some strange looks, as some people couldn’t understand my mutt accent - it’s that Maritime Canadian sound… some heavy Irish, a touch British, a dash of French, just a hint of Scot… sounds a little like a New Englander, with an extra French “wrong sylLAble” lilt. With extra little phrases that I have recently found out are not widely used or recognised in all of North America. For example, my husband never uses words like “bloody”, or calls stubborn children “wee stumps”, or calls trash “rubbish”, and never, until I came along, actually knew what “wanker” meant. These aren’t curses (except you have to be careful who you say “bloody” in front of - if there are elderly folk around, I’ll try to say “blinking”, instead), but they can end up in my sudden outbursts, depending on the situation. Soooo…
If I get very angry, I abandon all decorum and revert back to my “home” accent, using words and phrases nobody seems to understand, and to my immense irritation, often get *laughed at * here. This is not very productive. My BIL’s favourite is when I let out a hearty “JAYSUS CHROIST, will ye stick in yer ARSE! BLAH-dy HELL” (which he says sounds like I’m saying “bloody how”). It’s a very new experience for me to rattle off a string of expletives and have no one realise I’m possibly cussing them out. Sure, I seem angry, they say, but they haven’t got a clue what I just said. You’d think I was speaking a foreign language.
My husband’s favourite is when I hear something vaguely alarming… like if the news says we’re going to get a storm, or I hear someone stomping around very heavily upstairs, I’ll turn and say to him, almost blasé, with no discernable accent on any of the syllables: “Bloody hell.” Kills him every time.
I’m a motherfucker kind of gal, though any derivative of “fuck” will do. It’s so versatile! Not that I limit myself to that, though. I’ve also been known to say “Jesus Fucking Christ” quite a bit, though I try to tone it down to “Jesus, Joseph, and Mary.” I try to say “God bless America” instead of “God damn it,” too. Usually comes out as “God … bless America!”
Another favorite of mine, though not really a curse, so to speak, is “Oh, for crying in the night!”