People behaving like idiots: “Fuckwit” (preferably muttered)
Extreme surprise, displeasure, anger: “Fuck me - anally and hard with a splin’try 2x4” (preferably yelled)
Person arousing ire: “Goddamn rotten son of a disease-riddled whore.”
If female: “Bitch”
Oh yeah, that reminds me of one of my favorites - Christius Crutchus! It’s about as close to true Latin as Monty Python’s “Biggus Dickus,” but hey, it works for me!
I kinda like “Jumpin’ Jesus H. Christ on a purple polka-dotted pogo stick!”
When little ones are present, I will sometimes hiss, “Cheese and Rice!”, if a curse is required.
I picked up the wondrous “Sweet thundering FUCK!” right here at the the SDMB. Kudos to Coldfire for providing me with my favorite curse. I try not to use it too often though, so it doesn’t lose its magical powers.
–Kris
You watch Homestar Runner too?? I love HR…
Crapfully crappy, Topaz
You watch Homestar Runner too?? I love HR…
Crapfully crappy, Topaz
“Damn, damn, double-damn, triple-damn, hell!”
I thought it was from “To Kill a Mockingbird,” but it is from Spencer’s Mountain, a 1963 family picture
My current favorite is “Son of a Motherless Goat!”
If I am in a place where I can’t cuss, I usually just use “Ouch!”. It works on so many levels.
Most of the time its just “fuck” in all its glory.
While driving there are many permutations…
Crap Sucking Monkey Fucker
Fuck Sucking Dirt Monkey
Dirt Fucking Monkey Sucker
Ass Eating Fuck Monkey
Fucktard is a favorite too.
Then there was the gradually-growing-curse from my SC band days:
Bitch (long pause)
Slimy Bitch (long pause)
Slimy Cum-Guzzling Bitch (long pause)
Slimy Cum-Guzzling Dildoe-Monger Bitch (long pause)
…it went on and on from there but I can’t recall the rest.
At work it’s, "Mother- Puss- Bucket "
When someone hangs up on me, " May Cthulhu take your eyes."
When I’m really frustrated, " Arioch, Arioch, Blood and souls for Arioch." Usually shouted at the top of my lungs.
Yes people do tend to stare.
Fiddlesticks!
I’ve been usin “Fuck you with a syphilitic donkey dick” lately, no doubt inspired by something I read on these boards. I like it though.
If I’m really trying to gross someone out, I’m partial to:
“Eat my menstrual chunks!!”
The visual alone grosses people out so much that they won’t talk to you anymore.
“Shit nugget” also works.
Since I’m directing a children’s play, I’ve been using “fiddle-faddle” lately.
Ordinarily, I’m fond of “Christ-on-a-pony!”, “Sweet merciful crap!” (thanks, Homer), and “son of a fuck!”.
I’ve never been able to use “Kull Wahad!”. Perhaps because I’m not a Reverend Mother.