I was thinking about what the Native Americans would name people that we meet in everyday life today - instead of “Dances with Wolves” we might have “Interrupts Meetings with Cellphone” or “IMs Too Much.”
Mine might be “Spouts Useless Trivia.”
What’s yours?
Tastes Like Chicken
Covered In Bees? 
Sits on a couch
A slight hijack: Members of my tribe (Turtle Mountain Chippewa) can still get indian names if we choose to go through the process. I have relatives with second names like White Wolf, Two Guns, etc… I’ve always wanted to get mine but have been afraid I’ll end up with something like Little Fuzzy Chicken.
My beagle has an Indian name: Stands With A Sniff
Stares Into Space
Out of any Teepee
So Big Fat What!
or …
That’s Show Biz For Ya!
or …
So Sue Me. See How Much You Get.
Little Big Buns
Filled with wind.
Short for man-filled-with-wind-walking-through-a-green-corn-field-and-who-sees-plants-die-where-he-has-passed.
Dances with Corgis.
Whether it’s parking cars or setting up portable shelters, I know where the maximum amount of shade is going to be during the hottest/sunniest part of the day.
Hence my Indian name is “Shadow Pointing”.
Viswanathan Gandhi.
What?
A co-worker once dubbed me “White Bread with Lips.”
Broken Rubber
Walks with Stick.
Corrects Your Grammar and Spelling
Needs No Stepstool
Sound interesting. Would you mind describing the process involved? I always like to have my facts seperated from my stereotypes.
Anyway, I’d be Obessed With Cats. No question.
It’d be either Smoked Whole Peace Pipe or Buffalo Butt.