Paralegal
My favorite former job title was Language Specialist (dreamed up by the Feds). Made me sound much fancier than I really was.
At my job - Review Appraiser
When I’m working for myself - whatever I want. (Although to a couple of loan officers & realtors I’m sure it’s been “Stupid Low-Balling Appraiser” a time or two!)
Staff Attorney
District Geophysicist
Mom, and it take all my free time!
Queen of fucking EVERYTHING! I have a button on my knapsack to that effect. Thanks, matt! 
Actually, it’s Technical Writer and Illustrator. I’m the only one in my group that has the “Illustrator” distinction because I’m the vector drawing expert for technical diagrams.
- s.e.
Data Management Analyst, Senior (DMAS).
Spells “Dumb ass”, doesn’t it?
I think I’m the “Separate Accounts Intern”.
Financial Manager
(as I told a friend, I’m really just a glorified bookkeeper. His response? “Well, it’s nice to be glorified.”)
My father was a technical writer/editor for IBM and went by “Information Developer”.
“Research Associate”.
If I stick around long enough, I will be “Senior Research Associate.”
No, I don’t know what I do, either.
Ayatollah.
I have one of Quaddafi’s hats! It’s really neat.
Director.
Before that I was an Administrative Assistant.
Before that I was an Administrator (looks like I was demoted, doesn’t it?)
Before that I was Acting Administrator (merely acting you know)
Before that I was a Residential Manager
Before that I was a REsidential Specialist
Before that I was an Assistant Manager.
My first job title here was “Week-ender”.
Cyn, Registered Nurse
Unofficially but known departmentally as The Guinea Pig/ Oh, YOU"RE The One!
Fomerly known as Lissa’s Puppy(while she was orienting me)
Senior Systems Engineer.
I’m lobbying to get it changed to “Senior Geek”
My business card reads “Counsel.”
The job title I get paid for is Commonwealth Attorney II (Non-Supervisory).
Operations Manager (read “slave to upper management”
We have a independent contractor working for us and the title on his business card is “President and Janitor”
Internal Auditor (Staff level)
For about 5 6/7 more weeks.
By day - Transaction Manager.
Nights and weekends - Massage Therapist.
Pah. You only have the button? I have the nightshirt (a gift from my brother). 
Aircraft Functional Test Technician 31407.