Junior Political Officer, United States Mission to the Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka and the Republic of Maldives. In a year, it changes, then I’ll be Assistant Public Affairs Officer, US Mission yada yada.
…continued on next business card…
“Advising Coordinator”
I assign students to faculty advisors, and give them (the students: but sometimes the faculty) basic information they could have found out for themselves if they knew where to look for it. 
<< Ni! >>
And what gets worse is that it has to be in the three languages of Sri Lanka: Sinhala, Tamil and English.
English on one side, Sinhala and Tamil on the other.
“Analysis and Simulation Engineer” is what it says on my business card. I’m thinking of having it changed to “Engineering Analysis Whipping Boy”.
Internally I’m an “Associate Consultant”.
They tell the customers that I’m a “Technical Consultant”
“Manager, Packaging”. No, not “Packaging Manager”, although that is what I put on my business cards.
In business over the last 10 years I have been:
ISO Program Manager
Quality Manager
Process Improvement Manager (add “Person” and I was the PIMP)
Shift Supervisor
Corrugator Improvement Facilitator
Quality Systems Manager
Technical Service Engineer
Packaging Technical Coordinator
Manager, Packaging
Head of Chess 
(I also appear in the School Directory as Master i/c Roleplaying and Computer Games 
)
Head of Chess
(I also appear in the School Directory as Master i/c Roleplaying and Computer Games )
Head of Chess
(I also appear in the School Directory as Master i/c Roleplaying and Computer Games )
Kennel Ward Attendant
Apparently I also qualify as a mass poster.
It all began when I joined an Internet provider which logs me off automatically every 2 hours…
Intern, Protection Department. But I ain’t no lacky!
I dream of having a business card someday. It seems so grown-up!
UX Technical Engineer
Business cards only mean that you can trick someone into paying for five hundred little pieces of cardboard with your deets on’em.
When I worked for an investment firm, they were high-fiber linen, and they engraved the bastages.
I think I made a pyramid with them one day. Then I threw out 300 of them when I quit that job. My BIL uses them to note his fantasy football changes on, which is about the best usage.
Oh, and in my next post abroad I’ll be US Vice-Consul.
Community Manager
They call me a Senior Accounting Specialist. Kinda interesting since I’ve only been doing accounting work or about a year, and still don’t think I know a damn thing about accounting. Oh well, it pays the bills - for the most part.
That cracked me up! Years of marketing (which are long past) ingrained in me the habit of carrying 'em, but I probably scribble notes on 50 of them for every one I actually give to someone.
Network Admin
a.k.a that guy who is good with flashy lights and buttons and techie things.
Document Processor, formerly Marketing Database Admin Assistant on top of DP, but I got sick of the marketing crap and dropped it.
Lately, though, you could call me Threadkiller (although I hope that’s passed)