Transportation Facilitator
Today:
Visiting Lectuer in Geology
Next Semester:
Visiting Assistant Professor of Geological, Environmental, and Marine Sciences.
Director of Human Resources
Straightforward, to the point, and hopefully not changing anytime soon.
Photojournalist. Currently US Army, but who knows for how long.
Glad you cleared that up. I thought your screen name had a completely different meaning! 
Sr. Business and Systems Planner III
I don’t know what I do either, but at least I’m Senior!
“Project Analyst”
Like a project manager…
Business Card: Quality Assurance & Configuration Management Specialist
My (internal) corporate title says something about Software Engineer III or something - I forget because it doesn’t matter.
Engineering Assistant
Anyone recall a brief bit on Weekend Update a while back? The previous worst job in America, “Crack Whore”, had been bumped up from the bottom spot by “Assistant Crack Whore”…
Mechanical Designer
In a couple of years when I have my P.E. (professional Engineer) License I’ll be a Mechanical Engineer (even though I’ve already got the degree)
Corporate Communications Specialist.
Usually Senior Legal Assistant. Note the “Senior” please! 
Occasionally, Acting Principal Depute.
Even more occasionally, Acting Senior Principal Depute.
I don’t have a business card… 
Pastry Chef.
Hearing Officer.
Radiology Technologist III, according to my HR papers.
My director has sent memos to everyone that read Lyra, Chief Mammographer. My license reads Lyra, RT ® (M). I don’t care what any papers say, as long as my hourly rate doesn’t change.
Medical Technologist, or M.T. (ASCP) for short…
or unofficially, off-tours lab monkey.
I used to know an employer who called all his temps “Temp Girl”, the bookkeeper was “Mumbles” and the receptionist “Stick”. He would routinely refer to them as this in front of clients, eg “Temp Girl get Stick and Mumbles in here pronto". Needless to say he had a high staff turnover.
Currently I’m a “Projects Administrator” aka Girl Friday
Financial Client Services Account Analyst
in short Collections.
“Staff Product Engineer”
And when I was looking for a job last year, I couldn’t believe all the different things that “Product Engineer” could stand for. On reflection, it does seem kind of vague.
Microbiology Medical Technologist III on my nametag, but
MT(ascp) by certification. I am no longer unemployed. I took a two day a month gig, so it’s like being unemployed, because I don’t actually go to work or make money, but it gives me a nice job title to throw around in places such as this thread.
(hi dwyr!)