What do you perceive as your worst character defect? Dishonesty? Jealousy? Greed? Insouciance? And would you be willing to have this defect of character removed, or is it something you consider vital to yourself, and want to keep, regardless?
Personally, I think my worst defect is self-absorption. I really have to work to pay attention to other people, and to listen to them and their side of things. This mainly manifests in my social life, and not in my professional life. But it is something I would like to get rid of, and am working on improving.
Qadgop
“If there’s anything here that’s more important than my ego, I want it taken out and shot!”
-Zaphod Beeblebrox
Complacency. When I comfortable in a situation, I tend to not want to leave it until it becomes overwhelming (ie. my current job, which sucks) and I get desperate to change when I should have heeded the early warning signs.
Laziness. There’s always things I should do, but keep putting it off. Unless it comes down to I have to get something done, I rarely do anything ahead of time.
My temper. This doesn’t go off all the time, but I have certain topics which will set me off. This however hasn’t been so bad since I’ve been on my anti-depressants though.
Impatience. I hate waiting. I want something, I want it now. I want to do it now I’m horrible about that.
Are any of these things something I would consider a vital part of myself? No. I would do away with each one if I could. In fact, I’ve gotten my temper under more control than I ever have in my life.
I can trace every major mistake in my life to impatience, which is odd, because I’m very good at waiting. I can entertain myself with the contents of my purse for hours.
I was edging my lawn today and this girl comes walking by. I grabbed the cord and as I was walking with it, it brushed against her leg. She stopped, turned around, and stood there looking at me.
I said, smiling “Was that rude?”
She scrunched her nose and said, “Yes. You almost tripped me.”
“Sorry, no harm intended.”
Now there’s no way I could have tripped her over-exaggerating ass. I wanted to say something mean at the time like, “Shut your trap, BITCH.” But I just don’t have it in me.
I wonder why it comes so easy now, after I’ve thought about it all day.
I tend to get really, really pumnped up about a project, or a new job, then within months, even weeks get sick of it. I am now really, really reluctant to commit to anything long-term out of fear I’ll just dump it off the side real quick.
As a matter of fact, I’m ending this post out of boredom! But I was really excited when I saw the OP . . .
I’m too polite to arseholes. People are rude to me, I bottle it up. They continue being rude, I continue bottling it up. Finally, I snap, and show my considerable temper. Then I feel guilty, and I’m the one who has to apologise. Sucks, that.
So what are we all doing about our character defects? Every time I get into a conversation with a anyone, I try to remember to shut up and listen, and to ask questions about that person and their interests. And I work very hard to not top their tale with some experience of mine. I really hate this trait in other people, so I think it really sucks that I’ve got it, too.
Now,now! This is in my personal life. Professionally I keep the focus on the patient, and rarely introduce my own experiences into it unless I feel it can help affirm the patient’s own experiences. I’ve been told by many patients that they stay with me because I do listen to them, and respond to their questions. Which makes the whole issue somewhat ironic that I do this so well in my physician role, but can fail so miserably in my personal experiences.
Perhaps it is a reaction to being so “other-focused” for 60 hours a week, that it’s hard to listen to other people if they’re not paying me to do it. Isn’t that awful?
