I’d call dinner and a movie a date, too. That’s sort of the classic example isn’t it?
Just wanted to add that you have no obligation to tell men/anyone that you don’t have a lot of experience.
It’s going to get really obvious rather fast, innit? Him on the second or third date: “How about a goodnight kiss?” Me: “Uh… well…”
It’s not really the dating that bothers me (I have no problem spending time with people of any sex), it’s the other stuff. I’ve got a couple of guys I’m corresponding with from Soulgeek. (I still need to get my OKCupid profile up)
When you say the other stuff bothers you…
…why?
I mean, is it that you want smoochies but are concerned about some aspect of the act? Or are you not interested in them?
So I’m going to come out of the closet here…You are not alone. I’m 22 years old and have never so much as held hands with a guy. I have felt like a freak more times than I can mention and I keep my lack of dating experience a secret to all my more “normal” friends. I was really shy in high school, and though I am now a lot more socially adept, it just never happened for me. The intensity of my shame about the whole thing is really quite surprising–sometimes I used to feel as though no one would ever want me.
The good news is that I unexpectedly met a really amazing guy a few months ago and it’s going pretty well, so I guess I was wrong! I am afraid all the time, that I am going to do something wrong and he will “know.” Even though I really trust him, I’m not sure if I can tell him about my lack of experience. It’s something I’ve been keeping a secret for so long. But I’ll figure it out. So don’t give up hope! There’s nothing wrong with you. It just takes some of us longer to figure it out. If you ever want to talk about it, feel free to PM me. I really do know what you are going through. Good luck with everything!
Have you ever considered trying out for the other team? In all seriousness, is it possible that you’re just not interested in guys?
And I’m just offering this as a rhetorical question for you to think about, so please don’t feel obliged to answer. I recognize how personal my question is.
I can’t remember anyone asking me for a kiss, but I suppose it happens. I guess what I meant was that you don’t need to tell people that kind of thing until things are going well and preferably until you’re comfortable.
I’ve read some good descriptions of how to kiss (and I don’t remember where) but mostly it does just kind of happen.
Okcupid is a good place to start.
I’m 41 and while I’ve had the odd date since I was 16, I can still count the total number of dates I’ve had on both hands. As for romance, I’ve yet to manage as much as a kiss. It’s very hard to find a woman who doesn’t mind an inability to make a joke; and I’m significantly socially blind too, which does not help.
It didn’t give it away when he brought out the whips and chains?
Oh, “sub” as in substitute! Nevermind. 
From what I hear women tend to get a lot of unsolicited responses on dating sites, while men have to send out message after message. I wouldn’t take it as any indication of your level of desirability.
For what it’s worth, someone who can competently answer questions about spacetime and quantum field theory is a total catch in my book. Er, I mean if I were single . . . and female.
Wow, who new the S&M reference would end up being the less awkward part of this post. 
bah, “new” = “knew”. Missed the edit window.
You certainly don’t seem like a freak to me!
You’ve gone out with guys, just not progressed to those “dating” kinds of things. That’s no biggie and could change at anytime. Just relax and be yourself.
Oh, and I wasn’t allowed to start dating until I was 16. I was “going with” someone at the time so it was kind of an automatic thing.
As Giltathrial said, I seriously doubt the guy will ask you ahead of time. Most likely he’ll just go in for a kiss. It’s really not that hard to kiss. Just let him take the lead and you’ll figure it out fast. Even if your first kiss is clumsy, you can chalk it up to being nervous. He won’t know the difference. Heck, some people are bad kissers no matter how much they practice. 
Who gave you the idea that you’re incapable of making a joke (and that no jokes mean nobody will ever be attracted to you)?
Actually, you seem to have a pretty decent sense of humor about being a virgin so I really think you’re selling yourself short.
I’m 41. First date: tonight. Or would have been if she hadn’t cancelled. Whaddayasay, Silver?
Why don’t you try asking someone out on a date?
Practice makes perfect.
I didn’t have a real “DATE” date until I was 23. I was just super-shy, with no self-confidence, and completely socially inept. When I was in 9th grade, some girl told me that her friend thought I was cute, and I told her to tell her friend to tell me herself. That was about it for HS and college…
I wound up marrying the girl I had my first date with - it’s worked out well, 12 years later.
What I’ve learned through the love of a good woman is this : If you ask someone on a date, and they say “no,” will you BURST into FLAMES? No. You will handle it well, and say, “Thanks anyway,” and go on with your life. When someone says “yes,” just suggest dinner. By the end of dinner, you’ll know whether you at least WANT a second date.
This isn’t high school - nobody is going to point and laugh at you.
Joe
Neither was I.
Well, my parents let me date. The girls at school didn’t, though.
Are you afraid of failing? Love and relationships is all about failing. It generally sucks but when you’re in something good it’s all worth it. Kind of like childbirth or boot camp or liposuction 
There’s a lot of horrible, nasty, stupid people who manage to find their true love. Or at least have some fun on dates. There’s someone for everyone. Don’t be afraid! The more you fail the better chance you have in succeeding next time. Ditch the “I’m a freak” attitude and just have fun with it.
I just feel stupid not knowing how to kiss. Groping, and beyond I’m sure I can figure out. I know, I’m my harshest critic, chill out, etc.
I was actually asexual for several years (please, let’s not getting into the ‘if it was only for a few years, then you weren’t’ arguement). I find men attractive. I don’t find women attractive. I’ve never dreamed about having sex with a woman. I’ve never had a crush on a woman. So, yeah, I’m straight. (I personally have no prejudices about that - although my parents would freak.)
Hm, cute guy with an accent. Well, he’s a little old for me. But he can fence! Where do you live? =^.^=
I guess I’m exaggerating a bit - I’ve been kissed by a guy. Except I kinda froze up (gimme a break - it was like 11pm and the learning / problem-solving part of my brain had already fallen asleep) (again, I’m a dork). I feel bad, but it’s like, should I email him to apologize or something? 
Also, his lovelife seems to always be a trainwreck which makes me feel worse since he’s a great guy and deserves better. But that’s neither here nor there… (Truth: I was thinking "shit, why didn’t I reread that thread on the Dope?!’) (and ‘shit! why didn’t I shave my legs yesterday?!’) For the record: it was weird. (For those of you who do Faires in SoCal - it was Mr. ‘I’ve chained myself to a tree, tease the fanged beast.’ He’s a sweetheart and everybody knows it).
I guess I’m afraid of making a fool of myself and being embarrassed.
Silver Tyger Girl:
I think you are overthinking things. First kisses with another person are always about learning. Now, I know for you, it is a little bit more difficult since you are inexperienced. But, pretty much everyone has a different kissing technique and with each new girl or guy you kiss you will be learning and teaching each other new things. Lots of mirroring and fun stuff. You might not have as much to teach, but you don’t have to feel so freakish because noone knows everything about it!
As for me. I had my first date at the age of 12. We married at 13. And have been together for 75 years. I am sick of her now. I am getting a divorce next week (Long story short - I want children. She doesn’t.) Watch out ladies!
My first boyfriend was when I was 20, but we were friends first, and though we dated for three months he never so much as tried to touch me (beyond holding hands). I didn’t have my first “real” kiss until my 21st birthday. And while I’ve had a few boyfriends and been on some blind dates and online dates, my dating experience is pretty limited - I am currently involved with someone, but we never really dated.
I’m not a big fan of dates. I can remember the good ones clearly because they were few and far between.
I wouldn’t worry too much about the kissing stuff. It’s a bit weird at first but you’ll catch on quickly.
Another one for whom the 7th grade was a very good year. I took my first and second girlfriends out to dances, movies, and the like. These days it may seem weird to start dating at age 12 but back then it didn’t seem that unusual to me.
Once I got the hang of it the next girl/date just seemed to always be there for the asking. The biggest problem with dating prior to getting a car at age 16 was logistics. Transportation could be a pain, unless you were going somewhere that was on a city bus route.