When do guys get a clue about women?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Maybe I’m all alone here, but a 14 year old boy is like a chick just hatched about a month ago out of the shell, and is too young and immature to start rounding up a harem of hens. If a mom or dad has to point out the obvious to him, the parent should give it a rest. Let’s let his feathers dry for a while and let him learn from the other young poults at his own speed. He’s got a whole lifetime to have girlfriends. (Of course he should be made aware he should treat women with respect, about birth control, etc. as every good parent should do.)

Oh, and cluelessness in men reading signals from women is pandemic. Mr. Salinqmind has gotten a tad bit better over these many years, though I STILL can’t be subtle. Gentle hints go unheard. Nudges with the foot under the table are ignored. Conversations heading for disaster (“did I ever tell you about the time I went hunting and I shot this little -”) have to be derailed with all due haste… I have to make eye contact and speak slowly and clearly: “Mr. Salinqmind, my birthday is next Saturday, we’re celebrating with your brother and his wife at Tully’s at 8 p.m.” (or) "Your daughter is not PMSing, she crying over a boy, would you go talk to her? (or) “That really friendly waiter hovering over you? He wasn’t just hoping for a big tip, he’s gay. Yes, he is so!”…

22

Maybe I’m clueless, but what exactly was this girl supposed to be telling hallboy? “I recognize you from school” is not exactly a common code word for “I want to have awkward teenage sex with you RIGHT NOW!”

Maybe she just recognized him from school.

23

This could easily have been a Pit thread if he had tried to initiate a hookup and she’d only been making conversation.

The clue with women is that too many women think their signals are blatantly obvious and men are idiots for not picking them up. The truth of it is that no one can read minds and know what the hell you’re thinking.

24

Certainly literature I’ve read would seem to imply the possibility of heterosexual females.

Maybe they only go on the prowl during certain seasons?

25

I suppose I’ll join the chorus. That is, if I ever do get a clue, I’ll let you know.

26

It’s not that we don’t have a clue. It’s just that it takes us some time pondering to figure out the clues. For instance, now that I’m 43, I can perfectly tell you which girls were interested in me when I was 15. So, stop berating us. We aren’t clueless, just a little bit slow.
More seriously (relatively), as a teen, I ignored clues as big as a girl who wanted to spend a night in a barn sleeping in the hay with me (I slept, as planned) or another, who, living 200 yards away from my place, was sending me ornamented letters, mentioning I was the most loveable boy in the neighbourhood.
Even a little more seriously, besides being quite clueless, I was shy, and often paralysed by the idea that I could be mistaken about the girl’s actual intent, even when I suspected she might be interested in me . This probably accounts for a number of “clueless boys” cases.

27

I guess I really am clueless. In the timeline of hookup history, I’m going to assume that a hookup initially started with a converstation. Am I wrong on this, or do I need a pit thread to straighten me out?

28

Indeed. I’m sure there are 14 year old guys who know when a girl is flirting with them, but it’s not a reasonable expectation.

29

WHY WHY WHY would your boy want to even touch flirting with someone in front of his parents? When my parents would do the “so, huh? huh? huh?” thing with me I’d fall into a fetal position and fake death, or at least deny everything.

30

Ok, I guess I am clueless as well. The next line in that play, to me, is for the waitress to say how she knows Hallboy.

31

Now was that so hard? How come all women can’t communicate like that? I swear, I’ve lost realationships with women because they wouldn’t just say what they wanted. I’m not trying to make a joke about this, but sometimes it might be weeks, and occassionaly, months before I figure out that perhaps she wanted me to take her to dinner?

I don’t know if it’s just that guys are so direct compared to women, but what is reason for being subtle most of the time?

32

What baffled me in high school, and what continued to baffle my sons when they were in high school, is that every sign in one direction is mixed up with equal signs in other directions.

Back in my day it was all boiled into two phrases, and their cross-sex equivalents:

She likes him, but she doesn’t LIKE him.

She doesn’t like him but she’s crazy about him.

33

I try to be direct with my husband, and quel surprise, we usually get along just great. I have no time for playing games and feeling bad because my husband isn’t playing female games properly. :rolleyes: *

*Directed at women who complain because their man doesn’t act like a woman.

34

Seconded. I wouldn’t make an advance at a girl within a mile of my parents. And heck, if I had kids I’d think it weird for them to do so around me.

Valete,
Vox Imperatoris

35

That’s because women are mostly nuts. Who ever comes up with a clue chart about women will be richer than Bill Gates.

36

Better hurry though. Bill Gates already has big lead on the buggy illogical software required to complete the task :slight_smile:

37

I’ll say it again: Many women operate on a theory that says;

“What I’m thinking is completely obvious and I’m sending out all the proper signals for others to figure it out”.

Forgetting that it’s completely obvious to THEM, in their own mind. But no one else can read their minds or guess where they’re coming from. So rather than outright saying what they’re thinking, they expect those around them, especially their men, to GUESS, based on contrary and confusing signals. Then they get angry, or sad, or depressed, or all three, because the other people, especially the men, are operating from a very different perspective and not only cannot guess what the woman is thinking or where the fuck she’s coming from; but often have no real interest or desire in playing that game in the first place.

The real bizarro female logic in this is that many of the women who do this wouldn’t dream of attempting this strategy with their female friends, but they somehow think that because a guy is into her, he should be paying attention to every subtle clue, reading between every line, doing everything to try to give her what she wants, without her having to be direct about it. That somehow, this guessing game is what a relationship is all about. That a true love would know how to please her, know what she’s thinking, know what she wants, automatically and essentially miraculously. (“The Immaculate Clue”)

The real world doesn’t work that way.

Can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a couple fight, or been in the same situation myself with my ex-wife, where this occurs;

Man does the “wrong thing” and woman gets angry
Woman explains that he should have The Immaculate Clue
Man says “How the fuck was I supposed to figure that out?”
Woman says “If you loved me…” or “you know what I like/want/think” or “it’s obvious”, or some variation.
Man thinks woman is a psycho who can’t communicate her needs.
Woman thinks man is insensitive boob who doesn’t care about her needs.
Hell, for that matter, this kind of logic isn’t entirely limited to females in relationships. I’ve run across it in employers, in my father, in other people. It’s the idea that since something is perfectly clear and obvious to them, that it should be perfectly clear and obvious to everyone else. Forgetting the limits of knowledge, experience and subjective reality.

38

My darling husband is exactly like that, although I’m trying to get him to grow out of it. He will make some statement which I immediately see as a “code phrase” regarding some issue he’s upset about. When I call him on it, he says “well everybody knows what I meant !!” Gee whiz, Einstein, could you be any more convoluted about it ??

What really frosts me is when he plays that game with the kids. The one where “well, if they were paying attention they’d know what I meant!”. Honey, they don’t have 50 years of living under their belts. They don’t know WHAT ON EARTH you are on about! Gah.

I’m a practical, matter-of-fact kind of person. I like for people to be straightforward, plainspoken and honest in my dealings with them (I can dream!), and I they. Anyway, both of my kids are like that to some extent - at the very least, when they present me with a problem there is no beating around the bush or making me ‘guess’ what’s going on. Blunt and to the point. Well, when my son began having some interest in girls, he said to me one time “Mom, I don’t understand these girls and their head games! They’re not like you and sister.”

So yeah, it’s not just women, or all women. :slight_smile:

39

I’m going to join the chorus and say “Never.”

40

Ladies just tell us males what the hell you are thinking. We are not so dense to not understand that you are pissed off about something. Why are you making me guess? I’m willing to talk, talk to me. If you weren’t so pretty I would probably go for a guy. Naw, masturbation is always an option though.