When do you realize you're old?

[The_Devil_s_Grandmother]

@ZPG_Zealot

I recently told a divorced friend that the new young boyfriend I just saw with her looked so cute I could almost toss my husband out if her boyfriend had an identical twin. She gave me an icy stare then informed me that the hot young boyfriend was her teenage son! Years ago, I changed his diapers!

<laughing> Sweet! I had that happen to me a few years ago. Made me want to scrub my eyeballs while simultaneously wondering if any 17 year old looked that good when I was 17.

[kopek]

@Jettboy

Oddly enough, on the day I went to the opthamologist my bad knee (old motorcycle injury) was acting up and I had to use the cane I keep out in the garage “just in case” I ever need it; a circumstance which only occurs once or twice a year, tops.

I keep my cane in the back of the car all the time. For me twice a year is now about every other month for a day or so. But I have a good excuse; I ran flat-track.

[silvermist]

@Markxxx

I knew I was old when I bent over to tie my shoes and started asking myself, “Gee I wonder what else I can do as long as I’m down here.”

Me too! LOL

[CT_Damsel]

The first time I saw my reflection in a store window and did a double take thinking it was my mother.

[smee_goan]

Riding a bicycle?
Elliptical trainer?
Sedentary fool am I.

[Chronos]

I’ve recently stopped remembering how old I am, instead just remembering what year I was born and subtracting as needed. My age keeps on changing! How am I supposed to remember that?

[fubbleskag]

for my 30th birthday I received my first: grey hair(s), kidney stone, and hemorrhoid.

[Enuma_Elish]

I am not making this up.

The first time I felt really old was the first time I yelled at a bunch of noisy kids to get off my lawn.

Two seconds later, I lowered my forehead into my hand and went back inside to sit down.

[Finally]

As the great believers in conservation that we are, my husband and I were showering together and realized how slippery the tub was. The next day I went out and bought a mat for the bottom of the tub. My son graciously pointed out the only people he knew who had those were old people. Sigh.

[Valgard]

@Finally

As the great believers in conservation that we are, my husband and I were showering together and realized how slippery the tub was. The next day I went out and bought a mat for the bottom of the tub. My son graciously pointed out the only people he knew who had those were old people. Sigh.

“It’s slippery in there when your dad and I are having freaky sex”.

See how old he thinks you are then

[gwendee]

@Snowboarder_Bo

You know how when you’re in high school or college and you go to see a band and there’s this guy in the back who’s at least 10 years, if not 20 years older than everyone else, and he’s dressed kinda wrong but he’s obviously having a good time but it’s just so weird 'cause he looks like some guy who went to high school with your parents but never got a real job, just sorta hung out a lot and maybe smoked too much weed and now he’s there at this show not really dancing or anything just kinda sipping his drink and banging his head and grinning at everything?

Well, when I was at a show once and I realized I was THAT GUY, I realized I was getting older. Surprised the hell out of me, made me laugh out loud and then I jumped straight into the mosh pit and commenced to fuck some shit up proper. 'Twas both a great and terrible night for me.

Yeah…my husband and I have gone to shows and realized we’ve turned into that guy.
And the next morning this happens:

@The_Devil_s_Grandmother

When I wake up in the morning sore, and it doesn’t go away after a hot shower. Sometimes I’m not even sure what I did yesterday that left me feeling like I’d fallen off my bike.

I remember what I did but also remember whistfully that I didn’t used to need to take Advil or a day off after a concert. I used to go out to a club after the concert, go home. sleep for 12 minutes and then get up at 6:00 to do the homework for my 9:00 class.

@The_Devil_s_Grandmother

This morning I smoothed my hair back in a way I don’t normally wear it…and promptly decided never to wear it that way again because I’ve got a bride-of-Frankenstein grey stripe over my left temple. When did that happen?

I’ve had a stripe since I was 22 (I’m 41 now). The stripe doesn’t = old. When you realize you’ve been kidding yourself that it’s just a stripe, possibly for a couple of years now, then you can be old.

@Surly_Chick

I had my gall bladder removed in March. My surgeon looked about as old as Doogie Howser. When I mentioned this to her, she looked at me blankly and said “Who’s Doogie Howser?”

I don’t have an anecdote related to this, it just made me laugh out loud and I like to do that so, thanks.

@Dogzilla

I realized I was old when I saw a kid get cut at a house party in Kendall once (south of Miami). My friend and I left the party and on our way to her car, we spotted a couple of cops driving by. I stopped them and reported the bleeding, cut kid to the cops. [snip] and that’s how I knew I was old. I cared more about the kid losing his ear than I cared about the party being busted up by the cops. :: hangs head in shame ::

That doesn’t make you old, just grown up.

[ShibbOleth]

I was startled today by how young my oral surgeon looked. He looked to be in his late teens, tops. He seemed competent, but it’s just hard to trust someone with surgery that looks like he’s just got his driver’s license. This made me feel old.

[LSLGuy]

i’ve said it before, but for me it was when i saw a college-age hottie yakking with what seemed to be her Mom, and I caught myself thinking about hitting on the Mom.

the bubbly-but-clueless receptionist was a reminder when i did the math and realized I got my Master’s the year before she was born. Ouch.

[wunderkammer]

@Brainiac

You realize you are old when you can hurt yourself yawning.

I just hurt myself yawning a minute ago, and I’m only 22.

(Something in my TMJ popped and my inner ear felt like it had been hit in the funny bone. Now my ear’s ringing and nagging me about my mortality.)

[purple_haze]

@LouisB

When you realize you can go anywhere you want to and stay out as late as you want to and you don’t want to.

You win the thread.

[purple_haze]

I first started feeling old when I became invisible to guys. It was probably about seven or eight years ago or so (I’ll be 42 next month). Now I just sort of am part of the background or something; not really noticeable one way or another.

I sort of miss getting checked out. On the other hand, it’s nice to be able to be friends with guys with no undercurrents of anything at all. That I like.

When my daughter turned 20 I felt pretty old. Also, I hear my mother’s voice coming out of my mouth more and more often.

This one is weird, but my feet look more and more like my mom’s with every passing day. Does that even make sense? Well anyhow, there it is.

[Kent_Clark]

The day I tore a muscle in my thigh rounding second base in a softball game. Granted, I was never a good athlete, but I had always previously avoided hurting myself.

The day I found out my assistant’s mother was my age.

[Enola_Straight]

When the songs you remember hitting the charts are now played on the oldies station.

When you don’t understand the terminology of modern tech: Facebook? Twitter?

When you have to explain to your co-workers that you must pump the gas to start a car with a carburetor.

[Little_Nemo]

There was a time at a doper meeting. I jokingly mentioned “sis boom bah”. One other person got it and laughed but everyone else stared at us blankly. So we explained it was the punchline to a Johnny Carson joke.

Then we had to explain who Johnny Carson was.

[nivlac]

I used to be the youngest person in the office. I would look around and enjoyed seeing all these older people around me. Not anymore! It’s just the opposite.

But the one sure way to know that you’re old: You can’t get up without grunting nor sit down without an AHHH.