When does a steady date become an SO?

gobear · January 31, 2001, 6:54pm

I’m in the beginning stages of what promises to be a terrific relationship. I’m curious what criteria Dopers use to make the transition from dating someone to being that person’s boyfriend/girlfriend. How many dates or how much time must elapse? 10 dates? Two months? Ideas?

system · January 31, 2001, 7:49pm

My guess is that as soon as there’s a spoken agreement to commit, the term “SO” can rightly be used.

Congratulations, BTW. Hope things work out well.

Tymp · January 31, 2001, 8:26pm

When you find yourself buying a replacement for the worn out toothbrush that you don’t use but is kept in your bathroom, you’ve got yourself a committed relationship.

Same goes for buying towels in a color that someone else likes, or keeping someone else’s favorite snack in the pantry.

Nymysys · January 31, 2001, 9:34pm

Both of the above are right, although I’m one for actually having the discussion before assuming anything. I’ve been known to use the term “dating partner” for over a year, never knowing that I had fallen into “girlfriend” status months prior. ::shrugs:: A little communication never hurt anyone.

Blondie · January 31, 2001, 9:44pm

I’d say when you spend all your free time together, and check with each other before making other plans, etc. That and sharing finances without even thinking about it.

Mr.Blue_Sky · February 1, 2001, 12:41am

All the above and when you not only decide you don’t want to date anyone else, no longer WANT to.

handy · February 1, 2001, 1:36am

When you don’t look for a new date.

gobear · February 1, 2001, 1:52pm

Thanks for the useful tips, y’all.

Tymp · February 1, 2001, 5:37pm

Nymysys,

Your post just reminded me …

I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but you and I have been married for nine years now. Just thought you should know.
I’m happy for you goboy. Make it good.

Stella_Fantasia · February 1, 2001, 6:13pm

Wow, y’all wait a loooong time before thinking you are/have an SO. I figure when you stop having sex with other people & you clear your weekend schedules to hang out with the person, you’ve got yourself a boy/girlfriend. For me, that happens waaaaay before any entanglements of finances or leaving of toothbrushes.

Oh, but it doesn’t count if you haven’t met each others’ friends. The Acceptance by the Friends is critical!!

Giraffe · February 1, 2001, 6:22pm

I think that when you no longer have to ask the other person on dates, but instead assume that you’ll see each other every day or two, you’ve got yourself a boyfriend/girlfriend. (I do think you should have a specific monogomy/commitment talk at some point, but not before the above status is achieved.)

handy · February 2, 2001, 1:09am

Well, I got the attention of this Southern lady & now when ever Im with her & she sees a much younger or prettier woman she says ‘there’s a pretty girl for you handy!’ Yet, she says Im all she needs. Southern women, guys you really ought to get one.

keeper0 · February 2, 2001, 1:27am

[seinfeld]
“Do you have a box of tampons in your apartment?”
“Yes.”
“What you’ve got there, my friend, is a girlfriend.”
[/seinfeld]

Nymysys · February 2, 2001, 9:24am

Shit. I could have been getting tax exemptions all this time? And here I just thought you were stalking me 'cause you were bored.

Wait, have we consummated? Inquiring minds want to know.

Tymp · February 2, 2001, 3:03pm

You don’t even remember that??

That’s it! I want a divorce!!

Bear_Nenno · February 2, 2001, 6:30pm

You mean you guys don’t pass the note that says “Will you be my girlfriend? Check one: { }Yes { }No” Even though the girl usually makes a “maybe” box, you know she means “yes”.