Here’s the story:
One of my college roommates lives in my area. I really haven’t had any contact with her since May of 2002. During the spring and summer of that year, I got an internship in Minneapolis and left my roommates back in Madison. I never got someone to sublet, so I continued to pay my third of the rent even when I didn’t live there. I offered to pay a third of the utilities, but my roommates told me I didn’t need to.
They both graduated in May of that year. Our lease ended in August and I didn’t come down to help cleanup and get my stuff (I sent my parents to get my stuff, and as for not cleaning, well I was there when we moved in and did a lot of initial cleaning, our third roommate didn’t come until a few weeks later). They went on to different cities and I had a year left.
I’m back in Minneapolis after graduating. I knew that this particular roommate (let’s call her Susan) grew up in the suburbs. I had lived with her for 2 years and we went out to parties and bars a lot together and had good times. I still don’t know many new people, so I thought I’d try to get in touch.
I sent a letter to her in care of her parents in April. Shortly afterwards, one of my coworkers recognized a picture of a painting I had in my cubicle (she’s an art major) and revealed that he had seen her work displayed recently. He had her business card and I borrowed it.
I initially only wrote down her email address and sent her an email. I didn’t hear from her in a while, but in the past she hadn’t always been the type to instantly answer an email. I asked this coworker for the business card again, but he couldn’t find it.
In maybe late July he did locate it and I got her phone number. I called and got voicemail and left a bit of a rambling voicemail. I didn’t hear back from her. Last week I called again and left another voicemail. Still haven’t heard from her.
She was really cool and I thought we got along great, so part of me definitely wants to try to renew our friendship. But on the other hand, I worry that she’s sending me a not-so-subtle message that she wants nothing to do with me (I have a high sensitivity to the feeling of being ditched, so that may be contributing to my anxiety). Should I continue to call her, or do I start looking pathetic? Leave voicemails or just call until I can get her live? I know she has an art show in the fall–should I show up and try to strike up a conversation in person? Or would that make me look like a stalker?
I don’t know if it’s just that she’s been busy or is lazy about getting back to me (I don’t fret when it’s other people that are like this) or if I somehow pissed her off by leaving her and my other roommate rather suddenly to pursue a job.
So, any suggestions?