if you were just thinking you are ready to find a bathroom and you see a sign that says 8% downgrade and then the next sign says FINAL WARNING 8% downgrade: pull over, get out, and empty your bladder. you’ll be glad you did.
and on the subject of urination, when there isn’t a rest stop and you have to squat outdoors - I’m addressing the ladies here, obviously - try to find some vegetation to pee on even if you are in a desert and afraid of snakes.
when you pee on gravel it splashes.
Desert gravel accumulations near the base of mountains are called bajadas. Your assessment is bajada + pee pee = bad?
How about the downgrade on an unfamiliar mountain
that’s part of the Continental Divide
in a used car
that you just bought
so no chains
with balding tires
during a snowstorm
that you’re trying to get through before the highway is closed.
However not my scariest mountain drive. Let’s just say that Mrs. Cad learned that when I say don’t look out the window - DON’T LOOK OUT THE WINDOW!
I just learned you should consider absorbency when picking your spot to squat.
mountain driving - seems like the prettier the view, the scarier the drive. was glad to have done it in good weather. with good tires.
You’re wise to check your intended target for snakes. At some point during the process they might become perturbed.
Careful; you might empty your bladder on an adder.
I see what you’re saying: they’d be pissed off if pissed on. and that would be worse than a little splash back.
since snakes target based on warm spots your best to get your pants down and cool off in the air first. butt and crotch will be extra warm from being clothed and against car seat.
Your bladder will be gladder but the adder will be madder- and that will make you sadder, so much sadder than before.
When I asked him “What’s the matter, sir?” the adder said “You splattered
on my wife, whose nerves are shattered- you uncouth and thoughtless boar!”
Just a small word to the wise…for extra privacy, open both the front car door and the back car door, and squat between the two car doors…it’s almost like you’re in a stall, and the cars driving by will have to look harder to see your Personal Business.
Oh, and don’t use poison ivy leaves to wipe with. I learned this lesson the hard way.
that would be a good idea…if I hadn’t brought a bunch of dogs with me that would then get loose with all the doors open.
And the adder may subtract some padder from your asser.
I’ve driven around a half million miles in my life so far and I can’t say that I’ve ever been driving across unfamiliar mountains and felt the need to urinate as I got to a steep grade.
The closest I came was when I was driving through unfamiliar mountains north of Santa Fe, and I was sort of lost (no road signs or GPS or businesses, so I resolved to keep going in what I knew was a vaguely northish direction until I saw a road sign.) And then I got to the top of a ridge and then WHAM! there was Taos Canyon staring me in the face, which I recognized from pictures. If had had a full bladder at that point in time, who knows what would have happened.
*Nothing gets them madder than you peeing on an adder in the morning…
Your day’s not getting finer if snake-bit through panty-liner in the morning…!
True, mountain glories
…are outside your door!
But in whispered stories
You’ll come…out…poor…! Oh!
Heed my warning girlie, where the dew is pearly early in the morning..!*
Lift your pants from off your shoes and take a piss here…Nevermore!