Mine are not so grandiose as some, but I think would meet with approval:
All printers/copiers/fax machine/etc. will either be ‘face up’ or ‘face down’. Don’t care how it’s decided (coin flip, negotiations, Thunderdome), but there can be only one.
In the same vein, gas tanks for cars will all be on the same side, so people (e) don’t have to feel dumb when pulling up to the pump. And I don’t want to hear from whining engineers, you fix it.
Women’s Bikini Mud Wrestling would be an Olympic sport…what???
Dog owners who allow their dogs to foul any space that does not exclusively belong to them will be forced to clean it up.
With their tongues.
This will be broadcast live on all media, with free copies distributed to their family, friends, neighbours, colleagues, employers, employees, postman, mechanic etc. etc.
This may seem harsh, but I trust that this law will be broken a maximum of once.
Men’s mud wrestling may also be an Olympic sport. None of that unitard business either.
Children shall go to bed on time. Free babysitting shall be provided all weekends.
We need a new movie rating scale: it should also include some sort of metric on how bad the movie is, so that “cult movie bad” movies will be recognized in their own time.
My employer along with many others in the industry does this for worker scheduling purposes.
Schedule January is 1Jan-30Jan on the conventional calendar. Schedule February is 31Jan-1Mar; it’s 30 days long in non-leap years and 31 in leap years. Etc.
There are similar tweaks all through the year to put the same number of workdays (91) in each schedule quarter. The extra day to total 365 is in Q3. And in leap years the other extra extra day is in Q1. Such fun.
The other common pattern in the industry is 13 “months” of 4 weeks each with a bonus day someplace to make 365 in the year. This might be fun to spring on the general public.
Rename the days of the week and redefine the “weekend” to happen at the beginning of the week, consist of 3 days on one of which everybody goes to work, and none of which are the day formerly known as Sunday.
If a business can sell beer on Saturdays, they can sell it on Sundays too. It’s up to the business owner.
Florists and bakers can’t refuse sales/services to same sex couples for religious reasons. They can’t, however, be required to take part in the ceremony or forced to marry someone of the same gender.
It will be illegal for a car dealership to sell a car at less than the price on the sticker. If you want to reduce the price of the car, it needs 24 hours notice otherwise they must price it at the amount they expect to be paid.
I will immediately commence initiating hardcore, concentrated effort on breeding bears that never grow beyond cub size and have the brains of german shepherds and the hearts of labrador retriever puppies. Then, free bears for everyone!
You’ll have to take a 4-week class (for each subject), be subjected to a financial check, and receive a permit to:
own animals
sire children
drive
Also, all lawsuits that seem even marginally frivolous will be thrown out by judges who aren’t worried about re-election. We’ll stop wasting everyone’s time and litigating everything.
No one will be allowed to have a child unless they have the means to provide for it and can pass a basic parenting skills exam.
drrr… Ninja’d by MacdaddyC!