Why are you always late?
Your geographical misconceptions
See, boss, I keep thinking the office is east of where I live, when in reality it’s actually west of my house.
Why are you always late?
Fridge Problems
Such a pain, deciding what to have for breakfast
Help dealing with decomposition
Clever hacks that you’ve never gotten to work
Take my word for it, Himalayan sea salt and garlic merely postpone the inevitable. 
Hey-I’m Alive
Giving to beggars
Good point! I stopped giving to dead beggars years ago.
Why are you always late?
Shooting in Fairfield Township
That would do it.
What’s the deal with state flags?
I love this British shit and I move move to England!
I feel that strongly about American state flags. I’m definitely not move moving to Wales!
Why are you always late?
Man found dead inside a dinosaur statue
Hey-I’m Alive
Why are you always late?
Pet pictures!
Sorry boss, but once I start looking at cute pet photos on Facebook it’s hard to tear myself away.
Michigan driving law question
How to pronounce brotchán foltchep (oatmeal leek soup)
Better be prepared when the state trooper stops you for DUI and asks you to pronounce brotchán foltchep while standing on one leg.
From the Dept. of Low Expectations:
The Great Ongoing General Aviation Thread
Hey-I’m alive
Man found dead inside a dinosaur statue
Hey-I’m Alive
Oh, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations.
Look four entries up in this thread
What is the most masculine idea of all-time?
Things you’ve been surprised you’ve had to explain at work
Cow-orkers don’t understand my penchant for tight pants with codpieces.
I’m looking for a good walking shoe
Help dealing with decomposition
If you’re a zombie, stay away from Skechers. You’ll ooze right out of 'em.
Should I cut off Kohl’s paper tag off this Vera Wang towel?
What is the most masculine idea of all-time?
That probably isn’t it.
Hey, Cowboy! How’s it hangin’?
Amputation
Hey, Cowboy! How’s it hangin’?
Is that a dong on a drone?
It’s the 10-gallon hat and the six-shooter that give it away.
Why is human excrement ickier than animal excrement
What’s the difference? cable, flex, lead
Flexible excrement is ickier than cable, but I’m not sure why humans’ are worse.
What is the terminal velocity of a sperm whale?
Do real estate agents in weathy areas earn way more than in midde-class or poor areas?
It’ s a lot easier to sell waterfront property and get a big commission if the neighborhood is zoned to keep out speeding sperm whales.
What 1990s alternative rock bands do you think have stood the test of time
Hot Sauce Bottle Aperture
I saw them when they opened for String Cheese Incident.
What gives you hope these days?
Ransomware & Russia