In this thread the discussion turned to when is the best time to discuss sex with your partner.
As in what you want, what you like, what you would like them to change if possible, what you’ve been fantasizing about, etc.
So when do you talk about it? Or do you?
Well, probably not immediately afterwards if you don’t want problems.
I would say somewhere far away from the bedroom, just a sensitive discussion of what’s working, what isn’t and maybe some new ideas without blaming.
It will vary tremendously across individuals, though. Some will be a lot more open to discussing this subject honestly than others.
“Your mileage may vary.”
Before any money changes hands.
I propose that immediately afterwards is fine, IF it was mind-blowingly wonderful. Of course, anytime is fine if you just want to express how wonderful it was; the more often, and the greater the elaboration regarding exactly how is was mind-blowingly wonderful, the better, in fact.
The problem arises if it sucked, or even if you feel it could have been better.
Agreed.
I don’t mind being told during, if I’m told right. The last GF I had would tell me exactly where to use my finger if I couldn’t find the spot which I didn’t mind. Any time is good for me really just so long as it’s said nicely and not like, “well that really sucked, couldn’t you have done better?”
I do remember one woman said I didn’t have enough finesse, whatever the hell that means. Other than that most women have been nice about it.
I think a “Gettin’ It AWN” forum is past due.
If it’s something that they can do to make things infinitely better at the time. “Just a little to the left and a little bit harder/faster”, then immediately.
If it’s something where you need to explain the why behind what you’d rather they do differently, after… either mid post cuddle while basking in the afterglow (which risks cutting the afterglow short) or shortly thereafter.
Geez, this thread is killing my concentration…too bad I can’t go home and do something about it! (At least, not with company other than my cat.) Time to go home and call back some of the responses to my Reader ad, to get the ball rolling…
If need be, if you don’t feel that things are going as well as they could be, just yell out “borrrrrrrring!!”. He’ll appreciate the directness. I know I do!
If you want fantasy I like to write out fantasy stories and leave them for Mrs. Z. Then she reads it and thinks about it. Maybe she writes a second chapter.
If you don’t like something you should say right away. Like as soon as it happens. So I guess that would be during.
As far as what you want them to do it kind of depends. I mean if it’s a ‘little to the left, dear’ type thing I would say during. If you need some props then call them at work and say ‘Why don’t you brings some rope home so you and tie me up?’
I guess it depends if its subtle guidance to maximize pleasure, which should be done while the act is ongoing, or If theres something you dont like about their ‘technique’, which you should discuss over the phone from different states.