When should you tell someone you love them?

In My Humble Opinion
1

[ol]
[li]How do you know when you love someone rather than are merely obsessed?[/li][li]At what point after realizing that you love someone should you tell them, assuming you know that they like you but don’t know whether they love you back?[/li][/ol]Anecdotes welcome, whether or not the endings are happy.

2

According to my notes, you should tell her you love her before she attaches the leads to a power source.

3

Merely obsessed?

4

You should speak those words often. I always think I might never see someone again so I would like to be remebered as those having been my last words.

5

As soon as you meet them.

6

I’m serious, so don’t think I’m not. The best time is when you feel ready for sex. If you don’t feel ready for sex, either because it would creep you out or might spook your SO, then keep the Love word out of the conversation. IMO

7

Hey, I know you’re joking, but it still skeeved me–I met this guy who went on this tirade at one point about how people should just say on the first date, if it’s how they feel and anyone who felt otherwise was constrained by societal mores. And then he asked me out…::shudder::

I guess I’ll go with the old stand by. When you feel ready, and I guess, when you think the other person feels the same way. I also question your use of the word obsessed, though.

8

Generally when I think or feel I may love someone, I spend a few days away from them to determine if it is lust or love. Sometimes the two are confused.

I once had a boyfriend that said, “I think I may… feel something for you that has three words it in…” That is how he told me. I was annoyed that he choose that way to tell me.

I’m all for, when I am sure, looking them in the eye and just saying, “I love you…” Life is to short not to say how you feel. Or that is my thoughts anyways.

9

  1. You can’t know that you *love * someone until you’ve been through some unpleasantness together. I don’t mean anything truly horrible, but you have to at least had a huge fight, or lost some luggage together or something. You have to know how s/he reacts to adversity. Until you’ve seen him under stress, you don’t know him.

  2. When you’re sure. You’ll find out that either s/he loves your back, or s/he doesn’t. Either way, you need to know.

10

I’ve loved one or two women I’ve dated in my life. I’ve had sex with quite a few more than that. Love and sex are, IMHO, mutually exclusive.

11

I think you should tell someone you love them when you’re with them and feel a rush of love for them, because of something they said or did or anything really that just makes you feel a heightened burst of love for them* (I feel as though I’m not explaining this well, sorry), and then you should just turn to them and simply and sincerely say, “I love you.” Basically, say it when it comes naturally, not like something you’re hoping to work into the conversation at some point or a serious announcement you have to make.

*This presumes that you feel as though you love them in general. If you don’t and *only *have those momentary bursts of love, I would probably recommend you not comment on it, or say something like, “I really like you,” instead.

As for when to know you love rather than just lust them, I can’t really offer any advice.

Edit: “Comes naturally” also, IHMO, can mean, you’re about to hang up the phone and feel the urge to say it. My first paragraph was a little too constraining.

12

I don’t think that means what you think it means. At least I hope not!

13

:smack:

I meant that you can have one without the other, and vice versa.