We have tried to come up with a decent hiding place for our adult toy collection, right now dresser drawer is the extent of it. But my son would never walk in my room and open my dresser or nightstand. He’s never home alone for starters, and it’s a tiny house, so nobody can really be sneaky around here unless they are alone.
When my husband’s nephew committed suicide last year, I assumed the task of clearing out his apartment, for a variety of reasons. Mainly because I was the only one who had the time and capability; the rest of the family were too distressed. The other was because none of us really felt like we had done enough for him while living, and I figured disappearing any secret stuff (of which there was quite a bit) so that his mother and stepfather didn’t find it would be a good way to do the young man one last solid.
My wife and I use to keep our toys in the night stand on my side of the bed. We bought a new night stand for me, I put the old one in the garage forgetting about the stash of toys. The next day I come home from work and notice the old night stand is gone. My wife had taken it to the Goodwill. I asked her if she emptied the drawers. She said no. I would have loved to seen the Goodwill worker’s face when he/she opened the bottom drawer.
If you don’t want the kids to find your stuff, why don’t you box it up and give it to your parents to hold for you? Give them an idea what it contains and I bet they wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole.
Outside of home entertainment units(porn and toys) which really need to be kept available, my favorites here are sump pump and being surrounded by cleaning supplies.
When I cleaned out my aunt’s apartment after her death I found booze everywhere, including the toilet tank (sealed bottle) There was also a collection of silver flatware from the various high end restaurants where she had been employed as a cook. I think the odd pieces of crystal stemware might have had a similar source. No toys or porn, I think she was from the wrong era or was still resting up from her five marriages.
I’m with the people who think the parents won’t actually be all that shocked. But I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with preferring that the parents not find the stuff. There is a difference between unhealthy shame and preferring that your mother not know.
In terms of hiding places, I found some items cleverly hidden in the crawlspace above my house when we moved in. Nothing salacious - just some pots and pans that probably only got used at Thanksgiving. They were stashed next to the crawlspace access, and buried under the loose cellulose insulation (the stuff that looks like shredded wood pulp). I would never have looked there except I that I installed an attic fan and had to cut a hole in the hallway ceiling right where those items were hidden. I can’t see those things being discovered except through home improvements like I was doing. Otherwise… who wants to dig through loose pulp in the attic?
I don’t keep any porn near me. Nowadays, I just get it online and save nothing. I also only use certain computers to avoid getting the history saved. That being said, if I did have some porn to hide, I get a blank DVD case and label it “Wedding Video.”
My toys (all except for one) are at my boyfriend’s house in a briefcase. My porn is on two separate flashdrives that I keep in my document file cabinet - they are in the one labeled, “recipes.”
The reason for hiding the flashdrives stems from having two teens in the house that at times need a new flashdrive for homework/school. If I had it just lying around, and they were in need of one, they would probably take it. They really don’t need to know what their mom looks at.
I have no secrets, neither in my house nor my life. I’ve got massive amounts of porn on my computer . . . one of the reasons I have 8T of hard drive . . . for when my partner is away on business. Oh, and there’s a dungeon in the attic. Nobody I know would be surprised by anything.
Other than that, I do have to hide sponges and rubber bands, since one of my cats likes to eat them. Catnip too.
For a one time occasion, I’d load everything into a suitcase or plastic tub and instruct a trusted friend to dispose of it in case of the worst.
In the event of an accident taking you out of circulation I’d tell said friend where to find the list of stuff that needs to go away. Maybe taped to the back of the sock drawer.
Too late for an ETA, but if you don’t want anyone knowing about it, double bag everything and put it in the bottom of your trash pickup bin if it’s not a shared unit. Retrieve it when you get home, or the problem resolves itself.
Thing is I’d bet everyone at some time will need to be able to hide something whether it be money, valuables, food, guns, etc… There are many perfectly legitimate reasons to keep people, even those you love, from finding certain things.
Ex. a secret bank account you dont want certain family members to get ahold of.
What I find interesting about history is what things have been destroyed to keep things secret.
Take for example, old diaries. Its been found many times old diaries of say the Civil War era have had pages ripped out of them by family members who found where say Grandpa visited a hooker, maybe raped someone, or did something else which would besmirch the family name or legacy.
In the case of pornography, nude daguerreotype and tintype pictures were the porn of the era and many an old guy had a secret file of them. Of course years later when their kids were digging thru grandpas old stuff and came across them they usually burned them.
While of course this saved Great-Grandpas reputation they also burned a significant artifact of history.
