Am I going to Hell because I found this hilarious?
The wine and flowers I could understand–people have historically been buried with comestibles and flowers–but what on earth did the Vultures think she was going to do with crossword puzzles? Like there’s nothing to do in Heaven, so be sure to bring a good book and maybe your knitting? And since you’re going to be there for all Eternity, better make sure it’s a trilogy, and bring extra yarn?
And how could they have possibly thought lottery tickets would be relevant in the afterlife? What happens if you win the Mega Millions? How do you collect your winnings? What do you do with your mega millions in Heaven, once you’ve collected them?
To me, the issue here is not Greed, but Stupidity. Are they really that stupid?
I agree - there is a black humour about this whole situation that would have Mrs. C on the floor laughing. I firmly believe that later on, like in about five years, Surviving Daughter will also find it hilarious. Today, though, she is plotting slow and colourful deaths for The Vultures and is planning what she will put in their coffins.
I was kind of hoping that the lottery tickets were winners and when they realized that they had gone up in smoke . . . But they were too cheap even for that and included ones already scratched.
When their mother died, they did include the knitting . . . and yes, they really ARE that stupid.
When my FIL died, my son and daughter asked if they could include something to be cremated with him. My son gave him a solution to one of his magic tricks, and my daughter gave him some guitar sheet music.
I think it was a sweet thing to do, and I see nothing wrong with it. However, Mrs. C expressly said NO, so in that case, I would respect her wishes.
I have no problem with the notion, either - if it was my idea. However, since Mrs. C did say NO . . . I am expecting a bolt from heaven to strike at the house around the corner any time now.
Ugh. Of course, none of the scratched off lottery tickets were unclaimed winners, no doubt. Which means they “honored” her with losing tickets, better known as “trash.” Real classy.
The Vulture’s self-removal from the identification is so transparent. At least the crap was removed from the coffin. That’s got to be kind of satisfying.
My grandmother is still alive, at 103, and anything she wanted us to have was distributed when she went to the nursing home. But even if it hadn’t been I don’t think, in our family, there would have been any discord. I feel lucky for that, and sorry for folks who have Vultures for relatives.
My most treasured possession, the first thing I’d grab if I had to run for it from my house, is a simple orange candy dish that belonged to grandma. We grandkids used to sneak buttermints and lemon drops out of it, and think we were really getting away with something when we managed not to rattle the lid. Of course years later we realized grandma was letting us get away with it!
Right there with you. My SIL must be an honorary member of The Vultures. This is why I"m glad (much as I hate discussing it) that my mom has already started asking about what my brother and I might want, so she can start farming some of her stuff out to us now, and so that she can jot down some of the other things to cut down on the crap. She went through it with her SIL when my grandmother died, and she doesn’t want us to have to go through it.
Actually, this is a very common practice-including a little gift to the deceased.
When my grandmother died, my father tucked her favorite white cardigan, a bag of Hershey’s kisses, and her cigarettes under the blankets in the casket. They weren’t visible, just a little sentimental gift, if you will.
If Granny were a fan of the lottery, as my other grandmother is, I could see doing something like that-a few unscratched tickets where they wouldn’t be visible. But what the hell was their rational for doing such?
Reminds me of when my father died. As I was going through some of his papers (prior to the funeral), I came across an envelope with five crisp, new one dollar bills, with sequential serial numbers. I smiled when I recalled Dad always had a bill in his wallet, reserved for Liar’s Poker. Each bill in the envelope had five 9’s on it, an almost unbeatable hand. I slipped one into his breast pocket before we closed the casket.
A great friend passed away last year. I went to his funeral, and the minister mentioned that he would pause for some to put things in the grave as requested (this was on top of the coffin).
I think 75% of the people tossed in a handle of bullets! I tossed in a Matt Helm novel (his favorite) and a chess piece.
When my grandfather died one of my aunts was the vulture and there is no doubt in my mind if my mother passes before my aunt she will try the same shit with her belongings.
Of course the fact that she lives in Louisiana, we are in Ohio, and she is afraid to fly gives me quite the advantage.
My mother caught her trying to steal stuff after they had already agreed who would get what. She packed boxes in the middle of the night and sealed them up. She claimed the items in the boxes were the stuff she was suppose to get and could not sleep so she decided to get them all packed for her journey home. My mother opened them later in her absense to find items that were already declared for others. She was going to wisk them away in her boxes.
Like the vultures in your OP she was not close with her father. Had only seen him four or five times in 30 years but had no problem grabbing his stuff when he passed. She even took items from his late wife that she, IMO, had no right to.
I honestly can’t imagine wanting any of my mom’s possessions when she dies. I think she’s giving me the grand piano in her will. What in the world am I going to do with a grand piano? Eek.
After my beloved uncle died, 2 of his remaining siblings went to his house right after the funeral, while the rest of us were at the graveside, and took his clothes.
They couldn’t wear these clothes…they just took them thinking they could sell them give them away…who knows why?
I announced at this point I would never have anything to do with either relative the rest of my life. A promise I have so far kept and this has been 5 years ago.
My sympathy for the situation you guys are witnessing.
Primarily it was only his clothing. Maybe a few CDs or knick knacks here and there.
This was a guy who just didn’t have a lot. He was an alcoholic…had been a medic in Vietnam and never really got over it…but a super guy. If the minion Sauron and I have in July is a boy he’ll get my uncle’s name as part of his.
My uncle had lung cancer from years of smoking. These same 2 siblings also tried to convince him to move in with them at the very end of his life in an effort to wheedle out what little he did have from him. They were going to charge him a “modest” room and board fee to take care of him as he was dying.
Yeah. Don’t get me started. It’s a whole other thread topic…
People suck when someone dies and there is money involved…no matter how little it is.
Surviving daughter spoke with her mother’s lawyer yesterday and things went very well indeed . Surviving daughter receives the bulk of the estate, with large-ish bequests to The Vultures and other grandchildren. The kicker is that monies owing by The Vultures (sums that they “borrowed” from Granny and for which they signed promissory notes) will be deducted from their inheritance. Granny provided the lawyer with proof of payments made and notes signed.
Told you she was a smart lady.
I can hardly wait for the shrieks and howls of outrage. I heard one of them state, “Well, the debt is wiped out now that Granny is dead.” No - it’s not.
Oh, that’s just lovely, Das Glasperlenspiel! Congrats to Mrs. C for sticking it to The Vultures even when she’s no longer around to enjoy it. Heehee!
My husband is planning on asking his mother for a couple of mementos from his childhood before she dies, because two of his sisters live just a few minutes away from her whereas we’re all the way across the country, and we know that the house will be stripped of anything by the time we could get there. It’s not like what he wants is valuable, it’s just those few special things that mean a lot. One sister in particular will probably take anything she thinks he might want just to piss him off. Yes, she really IS that big a bitch.
My sister and I, OTOH, will probably fight over giving stuff to the other person rather than keeping it ourselves. We just don’t have the kind of relationship where we’d pull crap like that with each other. As it is, I’ve told my mother often enough that she’s actually put a codicil in her will to make sure I get the two things I really, really want – a cross-stitched picture I made for her some years ago (took me forever to do, I might as well enjoy it after she’s gone!), and her stapler. Yes, it really is that amazing a stapler – about 60 years old, weighs about three tons, works perfectly every time. She keeps offering to give it to me now, but I refuse, telling her I want to get something in her will. (Actually, I’ll get half her estate, what’s left of it – she’s already under instructions to take care of herself first, and my sister with Parkinson’s second. Which is only right, it seems to me.)
Is there any way you can be there for the reading of Mrs. C’s will? I know I’m not the only one here who’d appreciate a full report.
