So I was browsing through MPSIMS when Astrofiancee calls and tells me to meet her for dinner. I get up from my desk, get ready, and leave to meet her… About an hour and a half later, we come back to my room (well-fed and emitting gas from various orifices). Some things ensue which I won’t describe in detail; suffice it to say that it was an average Astroevening…
Eventually, Astrofiancee asks me to give her the remote control, so she can turn to a Korean channel and watch her “favorite soap-opera.” I’m less than thrilled with this, as the dialogue on Korean TV is far too rapid-fire for me to understand more than about 20%. The only thing that would interest me in the soap-opera would be the hot Korean actresses (however, if I’m caught overtly ogling, Astrofiancee slaps me upside the head…). So, from prior experience I have learned that when Astrofiancee is watching her “favorite soap-opera” of the day, distractions are contra-indicated (IE: things such as a tongue in her ear, a finger inserted in her navel, the occasional grope, attempts to remove her clothing, etc. are liable to earn me another slap upside the head! I’m WAY henpecked! ).
So what is poor Astroboy to do for an hour while Astrofiancee is absorbed in badly-acted melodrama? Ah!, I think, I’ll change my guitar strings! Been meaning to do that for a few days… and it will keep me occupied for a while! That decided, I set about gathering a few things I’m gonna need. First, of course, the guitar: my Yamaha is by the TV, eliciting a “Nan bol-su opsoyo!” (“I can’t see!”) from Astrofiancee as I cross between her and the TV to get the guitar. Next, paper towels and WD-40 oil (to clean the fretboard; no problem as one is on top of the fridge, and the other is in the cupboard.). I sit down, remove the old strings, pop out the pegs, and proceed to clean the fretboard… so far, so good! I am happy with the way this little project is proceeding…
Old strings removed and discarded and fretboard clean, I now need to procure more working materials: new strings, wire cutters, tuning fork… and last, but NOT! least, my string-winding thingy! [sup]for those of you that don’t play a stringed instrument, a “string-winder” is a little device that looks like… uhm… uh… a little device. You use it to rapidly and easily turn the tuning pegs to wind the new string onto the tuning pegs, thus saving you from HOURS of laboriously turning these things by hand…[/sup]
All of the above are located in a drawer beneath the TV. “Nan bol-su opsoyo!” again, as I cut off Astrofiancee’s line of sight (people on the TV are gibbering in Korean, there is a sea of tears being shed…in general, there is a great wailing and gnashing of teeth, which Astrofiancee is currently engrossed in… ). I open the drawer, extract the wire cutters, the tuning-fork, the new strings (D’Addarios or Martins?.. hmmm…) “Ya! Nan bol-su opsoyo!” (D’Addarios, today!), and the string-winding thi… WTF?
The string-winding thingy is not to be found in the drawer! “YA! Nan bol-su OPSOYO!” WTF? I knew EXACTLY where it was! Right here in the drawer! It was here the last time I saw it (maybe a month or so ago)… “YA!!” I look again, sifting though the contents of said drawer most carefully; lifting the hammer, pushing aside the porno tapes, pulling out the duct-tape and the beeper I no longer use (but still pay for, as the bill is taken directly out of my bank account, and I keep spacing on cutting it off)… no string-winding thingy!
Hmm… where could it be? “YA! NAN BOL-SU OPSO!!!” Maybe it’s on top of the frige I move away, and Astrofiancee goes back to her soap-opera, with a poorly disguised “Eeesh!” (Korean for… uhm… ‘Eeesh!’) Not on top of the frige… On the desk? No go… I’ll look in the drawer again… “YA!! BOL-SU OPSO!!!” (I can feel a slap upside the head coming, so I move out of arms reach and survey my room…)
There’s not a lot of space to lose something in a room that’s about 12 feet by 12 feet; probably the reason that prison guards are so good at finding shivs and illegal stills… I search every place I can think of, and about 10 seconds later, I am stumped! It’s not here!
Looking around the room in bewilderment, I notice that while I was frisking the desk down I bumped my mouse, thus causing my computer (in sleep mode since I went to meet Astrofiancee) to change to awake mode… and there, on the monitor, is the main page for MPSIMS! Odd! I must have forgotten to close my browser and engage my firewall! I think…
Then my eyes narrowed in suspicion; and Astroboy’s Razor occurs to me! (Astroboy’s Razor=“When you have eliminated all possible explanations, the most improbable, illogical, wild, unlikely solution MUST be the truth!”). SOMEONE stole my string-winder!! And, when I went to meet Astrofiancee, the window was closed, and the door was locked! They were in the same state when we returned! The only thing open was my connection to the internet; oddly enough aimed at MPSIMS!
Coincidence? **HA! I think not!!!**COULD ONE OF YOU HAVE SOMEHOW REACHED THROUGH THE INTERNET AND SNATCHED MY STRING-WINDER? YES IT MUST BE!!
Now, I’m not one to throw around loose, poorly-thought-out accusations, but in this case I will make an exception! WHO STOLE MY STRING-WINDY THINGY???
I don’t wanna involve the authorities (my fault… Shoulda remembered to at least turn on my firewall!) all I ask is for its return! But I still wanna know whodunnit! Was it you Coldfire? A couple of days ago you were talking about stealing Astrofiancee… perhaps this is some sick, transferrance thing… or perhaps YOU Satan! Only the Devil could conceive of such a feindish, petty, yet infuriating way to stymie Astroboy!! Or maybe YOU! OldScratch!! All the things I said to Satan apply, AND, perhaps, a penile-peircing might be enough to make you so testy that you would do this!! Or maybe YOU! evilbeth!! You know I am a teacher at a university, and you know that I know that you are a student… could your spite lead to such an act?? Or perhaps YOU! jti since I didn’t know that you were tlaking about bagpipes in your other thread…
I WILL have the truth of this!!