Whew it's hot out here! Summer Mini-Rants

[Dr.Drake]

Dear AT&T,

Yes, I’m dropping you as a cell phone carrier. You don’t offer service in Canada (and I hate you) is why. But seriously — you lack the technology to set a message referring callers to my new number? Landlines have been doing this my entire life, and it’s not like Canadian numbers have a different format.

The way you butchered the forwarding address is also a marvel of ignorance. I’m sorry Canadian postal codes have six characters instead of the God-given five, but you’re not really supposed to just lop off the offending sixth. And in 2010, after six months of nonstop Olympics coverage, I would think that “Van Cuver” would look wrong to anyone.

Still not as bad as Sallie Mae prompting me for my “grandmothers maiden name”: maternal or paternal grandmother? (I can never remember which I chose.) And why for the love of all that is holy won’t a company devoted to education fix a third-grade apostrophe error?

[Chimera]

@Dr.Drake

And in 2010, after six months of nonstop Olympics coverage, I would think that “Van Cuver” would look wrong to anyone.

Dear Mr. Trake,

Sorry for your experience. We value our AT&T customers. We apologize that your city was spelled incorrectly for so long and have corrected it to it’s proper spelling of Van Cuntver.

Thank you for being a valued AT&T customer.

Signed,

Drone 61418227.

[Algher]

@purplehorseshoe

@niblet_head

My favorite thing? When people don’t like the answer to the question, so they just ask the question again.

Oh, God. Seriously, Co-Worker Who Is Running Fantasy Football: I said “no” cheerfully and politely the 1st time you asked. I said “no” politely the 2nd time you asked. I said “no” the 3rd time you asked. So why the fuck do you keep asking me if I’ll join your fantasy football?!? I have no interest in real-life sports; why the fuck would I piss away money I don’t have for FAKE sports?!?

(To be fair, I do the whole “asking again when you don’t like the answer given” thing to The Other Shoe sometimes, too. But not six or eight times in a row! If Co-Worker asks me one more damn time, I’m gonna throw something at him.)

Drop this on his desk:

D&D vs. Fantasy Football [PIC]

[EmAnJ]

@Cat_Whisperer

OMFG, that was one of the worst highway drives we have EVER had. Rain for 90% of the normally 6.25 hour drive; pouring, driving, heavy rain for 50% of it, and crawling in first gear for about 25% of it. It took us 7 1/2 hours, driving in miserable conditions. Only one near miss, though, as the line of traffic we were in came to a dead stop in front of us for no apparent reason. And when we got into town, we hit the hardest rain we’d seen all day - zero visibility and rain so heavy the streets were flooded (and the evidence of the hail was still around, mostly in the form of my poor plants flattened again). So glad to be home.

My husband was riding his bike home from work downtown when that hit! We’re in Dalhousie and as soon as it started I jumped in the truck to go and find him. Good thing I did, and just in time. As soon as I found him it started to hail. Poor soaked guy.

[descamisado]

This is not really a mini-rant, but I don’t know what else to do with it.

I was just reminded last night by my sister that the former NBA basketball player, Lorenzen Wright who was found dead recently was the son of someone we grew up with. All along, that name was ringing a bell, but since I hadn’t seen him since he was 2 or 3, or his family in years, I just didn’t make the connection.

His mom, who’s a little older than me was actually my date to my senior prom (she had graduated in summer school the year before and wanted to attend with her boyfriend who went to another school and came with someone else also).

Ironically, it was his grandmother and mother who came and got me after my mother was murdered and allowed me to stay at their house for a few days to escape some of the traumatic stuff going on at my homeplace.

His wake is today and I have to call his Mom in a little while.

[Shot_From_Guns]

@Chimera

We apologize that your city was spelled incorrectly for so long and have corrected it to it’s proper spelling of Van Cuntver.

Don’t be ridiculous.

Everyone knows it’s Vancooter.

[Carol_the_Impaler]

@descamisado

This is not really a mini-rant, but I don’t know what else to do with it.

I was just reminded last night by my sister that the former NBA basketball player, Lorenzen Wright who was found dead recently was the son of someone we grew up with. All along, that name was ringing a bell, but since I hadn’t seen him since he was 2 or 3, or his family in years, I just didn’t make the connection.

His mom, who’s a little older than me was actually my date to my senior prom (she had graduated in summer school the year before and wanted to attend with her boyfriend who went to another school and came with someone else also).

Ironically, it was his grandmother and mother who came and got me after my mother was murdered and allowed me to stay at their house for a few days to escape some of the traumatic stuff going on at my homeplace.

His wake is today and I have to call his Mom in a little while.

How very sad, descamisado. I’m sorry to hear that.

[descamisado]

Thanks, niblet_head. The way we ended up talking was because she’d gotten a letter from the peckerwood who owns the property next to ours in MS, saying we’d knocked down a non-existent fence (or 60-year-old one that had fallen down on its own) when we cleared our land recently, saying he was pricing a new fence. He probably thinks we’re about to develop or sell the land and wants to get in on the action.

Good luck with your pricing and I hope you find one that’s to your liking and economic means.

[Shot_From_Guns]

@descamisado

His wake is today and I have to call his Mom in a little while.

Ugh. That’s never good. Sympathies.

[Electric_Warrior]

The following rant is exaggerated for comic effect.

This rant concerns:

**PENII
**
I know it is supposed to be a joke. I know that most people who use these five letters in place of the word ‘penises’ know very well that they are being tongue in cheek, that they are amused by the spelling of this supposed word and playing off the fact that the word ‘penis’ is a wonderful combination of vowel and consonant that would, I believe, elicit giggles even if it didn’t refer to a somewhat funny looking (especially if you take it out of context) male sex organ.

But here’s the thing.

It is like a cancer. It spreads. I have been corrected. Yes. Corrected, on my use of ‘penises’. “I think the plural is actually penii.” This started because of people like you. People who knew better. People who joked. People who joked in front of people who do not get jokes. People who joked in front of people who do not know what I know.

And what do I know?

The word where you’ll most likely see the double-I ending is this one: genii. It is the plural form of a word that describes, if the Oxford American Dictionary is to be trusted (among other things) “a guardian spirit associated with a person, place, or institution”.

What is that word?

GENIUS. GEN. I. US.

What is the male sex organ?

The penis. PE. NIS.

It is not by any means the ‘penius’. As funny as that would be, it simply isn’t the case. And you have left a trail of confusion and misinformation in your wake, you people who would innocently joke that the plural of ‘penis’ is ‘penii’. Look what you have done, and weep.

[Ludovic]

I think the people insisting so loudly on the shorter spelling are just compensating for their small penes.

[Cat_Whisperer]

What’s wrong with penises? I mean, other than the obvious.

[Shot_From_Guns]

@Electric_Warrior

I know it is supposed to be a joke.

I don’t think it’s a joke. It’s hypercorrection.

I have been corrected. Yes. Corrected, on my use of ‘penises’.

I’ve been corrected on my pronunciation of forte (as in, a strong point) because I don’t give it two syllables. (Sorry, guys, the two-syllable word is a musical term. And yes, by common usage, your pronunciation is *also *perfectly acceptable, but mine was “right” first, so I’ll thank you not to correct me.)

[Shot_From_Guns]

Why do I get *fifty billion ads *for Jimmy John’s on the SDMB, *except *when I need to order lunch? I want to give them some fucking ad clickthrough revenue, dammit.

Maybe this post will kick it over.

ETA: Nope, not even a couple of refreshes. Fuck it.

[The_Devil_s_Grandmother]

My cat is trying to kill me. She is slowly becoming the platonic ideal of cat-who-sleeps-where-I-want-to-step. And when I’ve only got one working foot, this is bad.

[MissTake]

Not a rant as much as an annoyance:
TheKid got her braces off in June. Whoo hoo! I have just finished paying $3900 out of pocket for them, as neither dental insurance I pay for covered them. Upon the braces being removed the orthodontist took a lovely panoramic x-ray of her head and noted that we really should have have her examined by an oral surgeon for removal of all four impacted wisdom teeth as soon as possible. The two upper ones are growing into the roots of her molars. One on the bottom is close to erupting.

Insurance being what it is (again, note she is double covered for dental - a basic plan as an adjunct to our medical insurance AND a dental alone policy through the union), we couldn’t just make an appointment with an oral surgeon, despite being under the care of a dentist. Both insurances stated as her orthodontia was done as part of the School of Orthodontics at the UofM that she wasn’t really being seen by a dentist. Erm, they are dentists first, but okay. Make an appointment with a “regular” dentist.

She goes in with the panoramic xray. They still take bitewing xrays. No big whoop. The dentist looks only at the bitewing xrays and says her wisdom teeth are no big deal, can wait a year, blah blah - I direct him to the panoramic. “OH! No, never mind. You should make an appointment quickly” sigh

So off we go today to the oral surgeon. First annoyance: Appointment at 345, she wasn’t seen until 455. Second annoyance: Notes all around the room about how dangerous oral surgery can be. Freak TheKid out. Great. Third annoyance: Doctor didn’t ask her to take her retainer out - he pulled it out, scratching the roof of her mouth pretty good.

Biggest annoyance: Along with the two dental insurance plans, I also have a medical expense account (which is run through the medical insurance company). SO. In going over how much all of this will cost, I noted that I had spoken with the MEA people and I can withdraw from my account to cover what is necessary, but they need to know upfront how much to have pulled. In the past what I have done is: The dental office calls the dental only insurance people, find out what is/isn’t covered. They then contact the dental/medical insurance company to see what of what is left they cover. It gets written up, sent to the MEA office and they send payment.
Nope. I have to have 22% upfront ($550) out of my pocket. No matter if the dental only insurance covers 90% of the entire surgery. No matter the balance should be paid by the dental/medical insurance and if not, it can be withdrawn from the MEA.

Her appointment is in two weeks. She stated IF they have time to figure it out they will, but I should still plan on having $550 on me. I said that I would call the insurance companies to find out the info - no, we need to do it. I don’t have $550 to bring with. Yeah, I could charge it, incurring financing fees and possibly interest while waiting for the various insurance companies to figure out what to do.

Blech.

On the plus side - her surgery is before school starts, so no time off for her and I will have to miss a mandatory meeting at work.

[Moonlitherial]

A hearty fuck you to the cold/flu/whatever the hell is tearing through our office. I woke up this morning with a tiny tickle in my throat but by the time I reached the office I was miserable.

I’m now huddled in my cubicle, sucking back jugs of water and attending meetings via conference call so I don’t share with anyone else. I’d go home off rush hours my commute will take 2 hours, I don’t have any 2 hour gaps in my day and I can’t run a call while on the bus without wanting to kill myself.

Thank Og my last meeting is at 2pm.

[Cat_Whisperer]

Wow - I didn’t realize that when you drive a motorcycle with extremely loud pipes, you need to also drive with extremely loud music blaring so you can hear it over your extremely loud pipes. Interesting. Really taking “asshole” to the next level.

[Chimera]

@The_Devil_s_Grandmother

My cat is trying to kill me. She is slowly becoming the platonic ideal of cat-who-sleeps-where-I-want-to-step. And when I’ve only got one working foot, this is bad.

My cat has the occasional issue with being under my feet. She quickly learns that I have no issue soccer kicking her ass out of my way. I’ve been injured before by being tripped by my cats. I once went headfirst down the stairs while holding a plate and a mug. I only saved myself from dropping them and then rolling over shattered glass and ceramic plate by sacrificing my forearms to heavy bruising. No fucking way I’m letting that happen again. Cat getting obnoxious to the point of tripping me? Cat learn to fly.

[lizardling]

Cat #1: SLOW DOWN when you eat for Og’s sake. Otherwise this results in your horking up what used to be perfectly good food. On the carpet, more often than not. You are lucky you are an adorable big lug of a cat.

Cat #2: You are very pretty but your brain cell is very lonely behind those big blue eyes. Every little sound or motion makes you think OMG MONSTER GONNA GET MEEEE.

One of these days I swear…