So I’ve been lurking on dating sites, and it seems that most of the profiles I look at are looking for the same type of job in their ideal spouse. I noticed this on Match.com. So now I’m curious as to what the popular opinion on this is.
Assuming all benefits and pay were equal, would you rather be married to someone with an analytical job, like an investment banker, lawyer, etc. Or would you rather be married to someone with a creative type job, like a photographer, carpenter, or painter.
This is the key difference from reality.
I doubt many people would marry investment bankers over someone more passionate and engaged with life and their soul unless there were material benefits
I disagree, there are certainly passionate, lovable bankers and lawyers, especially lawyers since it takes a certain charisma people can get swept up in. Likewise, I’m sure there are artists that have a sort of dull, emotionless talent that keeps the pay coming in but don’t really have any spark for their job, the sort of people who were prodigies and you say “that’s really good, but it lacks emotion.” In addition, sometimes when you’re stuck doing accounting/bookkeeping for your parents business as a chore since age 12, you end up in accounting because you’re so practiced in it, despite having a personality type “typically” more associated with artists (like someone I know).
In addition, it is a bit of a false dichotomy, for instance, where would a professor in, say, math sit? On one hand, you’d want to say the analytic banker side since it’s a bunch of logic and theorems. But theoretical math is very much a creative endeavor, it requires being able to see things fit together, and keep track of a bigger whole in the same way artists see lines and colors turning into animation.
Far too polarized in choices, when even generalizing the archetypes of careers/personalities, to be much good.
What do you expect with this sort of poll? It’s too focused on stereotypes, and you’ll get stereotypical results. Think about it:
Banker = Shrewd and wealthy; but a stuffed shirt, and probably boring or unscrupulous.
Artist = Interesting, talented, creative, abstract, fun and impulsive; but tortured, unstable, and probably broke.
Academic = Logical, rational, insightful, witty and knowledgeable; yet apt to be skeptical, arrogant, obsessive or nerdy.
You catch my drift. Who’s looking to date a stereotype? Pick any random person out of even the three of the stereotypical professional* above (out of a multitude of professions… The Physician, The Scientist, The Actor, The Lawyer… etc.), and I think you’ll find that if they do align with the established stereotypes, it’s pretty superficial and not a good indication as to who they really are as an individual.
Anyhow, I chose The Artist, because that’s my profession, and am gregarious of like-kind, as is most everybody, no?
*YMMV
Hmm, maybe it was a poorly worded poll. I really just wanted to compare the stereotypes you mentioned, and see what appeals to most people. I found on match that it seems to be overwhelmingly leaning towards the banker, lawyer, doctor stereotype, and few on the other. Although that could easily be because people think all bankers are rich and all artists are poor, even though that isn’t necessarily true.
A baseball pitcher . My wife says it’s because we’re tall, strong, famous wealthy,intellegent well read(other batters) and well traveled. She would say also it because we’re desired by many other women around the nation. We are in great physical shape (virility)and are considered leaders and the most important player.
There are days I would prefer to dig ditches. No screaming fans, no reporters in my face and no one insulting my wife and I
Ding ding ding.
The artist sounds more attractive to me, because I’m a creative type as well. However, I married the banker type (not in profession, but in spirit) and I’ve concluded that sometimes it’s good to have someone who is different than you are. I have an artist friend I love, and we often joke that if we had ended up together we’d probably be homeless on the street. He married a rocket scientist.
Other. Most attractive profession is member of Swedish Bikini Team
There is a reason my Match.com profile name is Dr. Hedgefundfinance Esq.
From living in NYC, I’ve been around plenty of both. The banker/lawyer/accountant/consultant type tends to be more stable, but they tend to be sort of pompous and dull. They all have a sort of sameness about them too - black Brooks Brothers pants and blue shirts. Sometimes they can be fun, but it’s usually in a former frat guy lets go to The Standard beer garden and get wasted thursday before we head out to the Hamptons this weekend sort of way.
OTOH, the artistic types are more eclectic and genuine, since everything isn’t about upper middle class status and career and crap. But they never seem to have real jobs (or even pretend jobs) and always seem to be looking for a couch to crash on.
A mix like **olivesmarch4th’s **can be a good match. One of my friends is a managing director in a consulting firm making a quarter million a year and his wife is a minor actress. They are a fun couple because she (and her weirdo friends) brings something different from the dull buttoned-up blueshirts we normally hang out with and he keeps her from having to work as a bartender to keep from starving.
Phrased like it is, I would choose Artist.
But the above is rarely true. A small percentage of artists in the world, of all the ones out there, are doing well.
An investment banker will not just have better job security, along with skills to seek out other employment options if needed, but will have benefits (like a decent insurance policy) backed by their institution.
My situation is a bit odd. I married someone who works in the arts, but has a stable, good paying job, with benifits.
He also reminds me of my Dad. Who is an accountant. So, um both.
For me personally it would be hard to seriously date someone outside of the arts, since I work in the arts as well. The strange hours, dedication, and bizarre situations can be a bit much for someone who has no background in arts.
I’m a technical writer. Am I creative or analytical?
When I think of financially successful artists, I think of Thomas Kinkade. No thanks.
When I was dating, I tended to date a lot of engineers. My favorites were engineers who had artistic hobbies. I found something attractive about the “engineer personality type”, and I liked the intelligence and stability that pursuing a professional job usually reflects…but it’s nice to also have someone with some artistic sensitivity too. I would never turn down someone I otherwise liked for a date BECAUSE of their job though. Many people work in less than ideal jobs just to pay the bills after all.
I wound up settling down with a musician (unfortunately it has not been financially lucrative, but yes, one of the reasons I found him attractive was because he is an exceptionally skilled guitarist). But in personality terms, he is not a typical “artsy” type. He is very logical, very rules-oriented (I would even go so far as to say that he was kind of uptight before I helped him mellow out 
). Even his approach to artistic pursuits is more precise and technical than many people’s. I think he would have made a good engineer, actually.
I’m married to a chef, so yeah, creative.
It’s hard being married to someone who will probably always be dependent on me for financial security, insurance, etc. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. I’m willing to take jobs that may not be my dream to provide for my family. I do wish the benefits and pay were more akin to bankers, etc.
But what can I do? I’m not going to do anything. I love my husband, and part of loving him is loving that he’s a fantastic chef who looks incredibly sexy in his chef coat. Mmmmm… when I put it that way, I’m glad I married the sexy chef!