…let’s us non-US dopers take over the SDMB!!!
Now, what should we talk about?
Here are some suggestions
Cricket, Aussie Rules, International Rules, LaCrosse, Gaelic Football, Chess, Muriel’s Wedding, Trainspotting, Hockey, Chacun Cherche Son Chat, Intermission, This Is England, The EU, Prime Ministers, Beijing Olympics, Kings, Queens, Vladimir Putin, Rai music, Desert blues, Ian Paisley, Jordan.
Ehhh I’m all out of ideas.
But yay we rule.
Dikes and biscuits!
So let’s talk about Cricket - I love me some cricket. Boy did those Sri Lankans stink or what? A bit of flat track bullying at the end but we showed 'em what for - Seriously, the Sri Lankans sucked. Not as bad as last years Englishmen, but geez. I never get tired of gragantuan Australian victories. Punter Ponting is a golden, glowing God taken human form - we will crush the Indians, annihilate them. C’mon Aussie C’mon! Yay Cricket!
Cricket!
Cricket!
Cricket? Oh, I can’t abide cricket…there, I’ve said it. Out loud. And in public. Yes, you can keep yer rotten cricket.
Posh Spice Beckham - what the fuck is wrong with her FACE? And her BOOBS?
At the risk of proving Hoyle’s Law, once again, can one of you cricket afficianados explain the game in simple terms that a non-sports fan can understand? I think I know what the wicket is, but I still don’t understand why things are called a test. Nor even what a test might be.
And, just out of curiousity, is cricket derived from rounders? (And will I get shot by my Fellow Americans for even suggesting that possibility?)
[QUOTE=Kyla]
Posh Spice Beckham - what the fuck is wrong with her FACE? And her BOOBS?
[/QUOTE]
Neither of them are actually hers without artificial enhancement? And why can’t she smile naturally without gritting her teeth?
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki]
At the risk of proving Hoyle’s Law, once again, can one of you cricket afficianados explain the game in simple terms that a non-sports fan can understand? I think I know what the wicket is, but I still don’t understand why things are called a test. Nor even what a test might be.
And, just out of curiousity, is cricket derived from rounders? (And will I get shot by my Fellow Americans for even suggesting that possibility?)
[/QUOTE]
A Test (large T) is a full International usually scheduled over five days.
The aim of the game is to hit the ball with the bat and score runs. Two batsmen at opposite ends of a 22-yard pitch in the middle of a playing field of variable size (roughly football-field sized) must change ends to score one run. A hit off the playing area entirely is called a “boundary” and automatically scores six runs (if the ball clears the field without bouncing after it is hit) or four (if it doesn’t); the batsmen do not need to move to register this boundary score.
The fielding side aim to prevent the scoring of runs and to remove the batsmen from play by putting them out in a number of ways. First, the batsman must defend a “wicket” - a wooden target made of three uprights (“stumps”) surmounted by crosspieces (“bails”) placed in grooves. One member of the fielding side (the bowler) attempts to get the ball past the bat from the other end of the pitch and hit this target. If he can do this, the batsman is out “bowled”. Because this is a ground-level target it is possible that the batsman might obstruct it with his body or legs (the latter being padded for his own protection), and if he does so he may, subject to some restrictions, be given out “leg before wicket”, invariably abbreviated “lbw”. Also, he must not inadvertently knock over the wicket he is meant to defend, or he will be out “hit wicket” - rare, but occasionally seen. Finally, the batsman has a line or “crease” to remain behind while he plays at the ball, and if he steps over it and the “wicketkeeper” - a padded and begloved fielder stationed near the wicket - is able to use the ball to break the wicket, the batsman is out “stumped”.
Having hit the ball, the batsman may be out “caught” if anyone is able to catch the ball before it hits the ground. No-one but the wicketkeeper is allowed the use of a glove for this. If the batsmen attempt a run, either may be out “run out” if they fail to reach the wicket at the opposite end before the ball is returned to it (and used to break the wicket); the batsmen themselves aren’t “tagged out”, though. There are some rarely-seen technicalities that allow other means of being out, but we needn’t mention them here.
An “innings” (always pluralised in cricket) is a side’s turn at scoring runs. It lasts until ten out of eleven men are out - since runs are scored by two batsmen changing ends, one man cannot bat alone. In a typical club match, each side will have one innings; in a first-class or Test match, two, taken alternately. The following results are possible:
[ul]The side batting first puts the side batting second all out for fewer runs: First side wins by the difference in runs, as in “wins by 35 runs”
[li]The side batting second overtakes the side batting first while still having men not out: Second side wins by the number of men that are not out, as in “wins by 6 wickets”[/li][li]The side batting first puts the side batting second out for exactly the same number of runs: A tie (very rare result)[/li][li]The allotted time expires with none of the above achieved: A draw[/ul][/li]
Any one bowler may only deliver the ball six times in a row; this is called an “over”, and the next over must be bowled by someone else and from the opposite end of the pitch. Hence, a side must include at least two bowlers, and typically has a minimum of four.
Instead of being restricted by time, a match can be for a restricted number of overs. That is, one side will bat for (say) a maximum of 50 overs, and then the other side will do so. In this case only, no draw is possible; the side batting second must overtake the first side’s score or lose by default.
Rounders is a different game, much more closely linked to baseball; some kind of game in which the batsman must defend a wicket seems to have been around for a great many years.
I heard crickets are not at all untasty when grilled with some limejuie and chili.
But I do look forward to the Spice girls bringing back some Girl Powder!!
[QUOTE=Kyla]
Posh Spice Beckham - what the fuck is wrong with her FACE? And her BOOBS?
[/QUOTE]
Too much ironing.
No, not done by her. By those guys at the clinic down the road.
As for why can’t she smile, it’s due to the weight of those horns on her head, the ones her hubby would use to hang his hat if he wasn’t afraid to mess up the haircut.
HA! I caught you furriners!
Stop that right now.
Oh BTW, Beckham is in the US and we still don’t care about soccer. Yep, I said soccer.
Oh, no you don’t! Soccer is soccer and football is football, we drive on the right side of the road, and we love our guns!
Just because we’re eating turkey doesn’t mean we can’t log in during breaks! I’m watching you!
Ahem. Non-American stuffing her face with turkey today… living here means I get TWO Thanksgivings! WOOHOO! Let’s hear it for the one awesome thing about being an ex-pat in the US!
[QUOTE=Kotick]
But I do look forward to the Spice girls bringing back some Girl Powder!!
[/QUOTE]
Do you have uncomfortable itching?
Is there such a thing as comfortable itching?
Yes! Especially now that they have announced a reunion of some sorts…
Girl powder!!
Any leftovers from that stuffed turkey of yours while you’re spying on us?
(edit: right, now that Twicksters post came inbetween, my reply came out all wrong… but hey, theres some cold turkey for ya!)
[QUOTE=An Gadaí]
Vladimir Putin
[/QUOTE]
If we’re talking Putin, can we talk poutine too? Always cracks me up how French newscasters call him “Vladimir Poutine”, like he’s a cheese-and-gravy-soaked Russian. Can’t blame them, though, when pronouncing it the “right” French way comes out “putain”, which loosely translates to “whore.”
Anyway, apparently my mom is sending some squeaky cheese down with my aunt next week, so I’ll be able to make some poutine. Yay!
We have two days for our board takeover, you know. They’ll all be shopping tomorrow!
Victory is ours!
Checkmate possibly comes from the Persian ‘Shah Mat’, meaning ‘the King is dead’.
Note that “Chess players head explodes” is just an urban legend.
[QUOTE=Antigen]
If we’re talking Putin, can we talk poutine too? Always cracks me up how French newscasters call him “Vladimir Poutine”, like he’s a cheese-and-gravy-soaked Russian. Can’t blame them, though, when pronouncing it the “right” French way comes out “putain”, which loosely translates to “whore.”
Anyway, apparently my mom is sending some squeaky cheese down with my aunt next week, so I’ll be able to make some poutine. Yay!
We have two days for our board takeover, you know. They’ll all be shopping tomorrow!
Victory is ours!
[/QUOTE]
We can buy squeaky cheese here, you know. Wegman’s.
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth]
We can buy squeaky cheese here, you know. Wegman’s.
[/QUOTE]
I love you.
This means a poutine party.