Hmm, I see that it’s not entirely clear who I am addressing in my previous post.
I am addressing the blanket statement’s that ** Blalron ** made, but I am also encouraging ** if you don’t know i won’t tell ** to support her friend. Sorry for the headaches I may have inadvertantly caused. :smack:
Actually, zabali, I’d say, in this case, that M does indeed fit what Blalron was talking about. Of course not everyone really is to that extent, but I’ve been friends with her for several years, and have noticed that it’s very much HER, and not just an imposed behavior pattern. Her mother has had relational difficulties, but never abusive. The reason I say I don’t believe it was a taught behavior in this case, is because with M, it’s not just this behavior which is the problem. There’s something in the way her personality is, it’s direct nature (I’ve spent a lot of time analyzing her) shows in many of her behaviors. This is just one of the manifestations. Which is why I’ve about given up.
I don’t mean to mislead about how abusive Chad was/is. He’s never hit her, or forced anything on her, nor would he (he’s a scumbag, but not THAT bad of a scumbag). However, he has convinced her to do things that I know she didn’t really want to do, but given her soft nature, she caved without much resistence. She does that with everything, a complete placator (which I despise), and I’ve lost just about all respect for her, as a person. I think I’ll tell her that, and why I feel that way, and then see what happens. She’ll probably cry, but thankfully I’m not a sucker for tears.
I talked to J, about disrespecting M’s and I, and he apologized, and promised it wouldn’t happen again. I haven’t talked to or seen M since Saturday, she hasn’t called.
Just as an update. M and Chad are back together.