I think that some “A Clockwork Orange” style brainwashing might do the trick. Or chopping off your fingers.
IMHO this board primarily is about the honest, intelligent interchange of ideas which often results in ignornance abatement.
One of the few ways for a “newbie” to get lots of attention right away is to violate “Rule #1 of the SDMB” which is “Don’t be a jerk.”
I have found this board to be an excellent source of interesting ideas. I seldom get quoted unless I post something that is contrary to fact, an untenable opinion or something controversial that is unsupported.
This board is not a good place to post for anyone who needs much attention. To paraphrase Haj, there’s lots of other sandboxes out there.
This is good advice. I made some dipshit moves right off the bat and the mods rightfully called me on it. I am sarcastic by nature and see humor in almost everything, but have had to apologize to posters when it’s not taken well (irony is not a strong suit amongst Americans). Been pitted a few times, but most posters have agreed it’s been unwarranted. You either have to get over yourself on this board or find yourself in deep kimchee real quick.
I honestly thought you were already banned. But, seeing as you’re still here, the best thing I can say is to read. Read at least four times more than what you post. It won’t get you well-known, as I’ve been here for just about forever, but I don’t think I’m particularly well-known. But, I don’t know, maybe your whole point to posting here is to be well known, in which case, pissing people off will get you remembered anyway. Like Barking Spider and december.
Hit the Submit button on every tenth post you type up. Preview your post for spelling/grammatical errors and coding mistakes, correct, preview again to see if the content of your post is what you want to say and germane to the thread, reread the thread in a separate window, THEN click the Submit button.
Smiley abuse is frowned upon. 
Search before posting a thread to see if it’s been done before. Think long and hard before reviving a dead thread (check the date of the last post, PLEASE).
Praise Cecil, and curse the hamsters.
Quit making all these threads about what people think of you.
Really.
Post like I do and you, too, will universally ignored!
Because of my promise, I’d like to request this thread be closed down. It was a mistake.
Kurdt, before it is, please, try to read the good advice you’ve been given here. Oh, and before you start a Pit thread asking for compassion, please try to show some yourself.
I’m afraid I didn’t care much for your poetry either, but if you want to post it here, we have two threads in Cafe Society which you might want to check out, one which has the poems and and one which has discussions of the poems. Since I’ve got a couple in there myself, you’re free to comment on mine, and, as far as I’m concerned, you’re not required to like them.
Just a couple of things I would like to re-emphasize. Look around and see how other people handle similar situations, including people who ardently and strongly disagree with them. Keeping your arguments articulate and well organize matters greatly around here, even in MPSIMS. It’s the only way we have to know who you are. A poster whose only contribution random “You suck!” is the equivalent of the shabby-looking fellow walking down the street muttering profanity.
I wish you luck,
CJ
Don’t lie (or make typos :-\ ) about how old you are.
Don’t flame people outside of the BBQ pit.
Don’t start threads like this.
This better be the last thread about you that gets reported in my inbox, Kurdt. I counted about 15 reports in the last 24 hours. I’ll consider you “changed” when the reports stop, fercryinoutloud.