Last weekend, the I, and the man who claims to be my husband, went away for a weekend getaway, to celebrate our 19th anniversary.
Now, I love my husband, and he loves me. If anything, our marriage is stronger and happier now than it’s ever been. This man certainly looks like my husband; but:
when we dressed for dinner Saturday night, and I asked him how I looked, he replied “gorgeous”. Now, my husband has referred to me in the past as “cute”, and “sexy” (yeah, his eyes are bad; why do you ask?) but never has he referred to me as “gorgeous”. Then, sitting at dinner, he picked up one of my hands, and complimented me on my nail polish!! In the past, I cannot believe he would have even noticed my hands (barring the occasions when they were touching relevant parts of his anatomy) unless perhaps my fingers had been chopped off in a bizarre kitchen knife incident, and my bleeding was blocking his view of the television or computer monitor.
To say he’s never been romantic would be a serious understatement. All of a sudden, he’s noticing my manicure, commenting on my “sexy legs” and calling me gorgeous?? I don’t know if early senility has set in, or if he’s having an affair, or if he’s just now getting around to appreciating what he’s got, or if he’s been replaced by a Pod Person.
Control calling Maintenance Team: recall hubby Model 4.0. The passion circuit was set too high for a man of his age. The natives are getting suspocious. end transmission
How much blood would one have to bleed for it to become a serious impediment to screen viewing without something else (like a body that the bleeding portion is attached to) in the way? Unless the screen is on the floor and there is continuous drippage?
Well, I don’t have to be bleeding on the television. But if I’m standing between him and the television while begging him to take me to the ER, he’s bound to notice!
Check your things. Is your favorite coffee mug broken? Has furniture been moved around to cover a large stain on the carpet? If so he might be trying to create a distraction. If not just enjoy the thoughtfulness!
You know those threads where we debate about whether the you that steps out of the receiving end of the teleporter is the same you that stepped in at the ternsmitting end?
Well, it isn’t. And I’m afraid that’s exactly what’s happened here - during teleportation, the original was destroyed and a brand new person was created merely believing themself to be the original. Unfortunately, some of the memories also didn’t come across properly, so things aren’t exactly as they were before. We did the best we could to clean it up, but obviously the cracks are starting to show.
So I might as well come clean and tell you:
**norinew **- you’re not the original. Your husband - or rather, the husband of the norinew that died in the transmission pod - has always been like this. It’s your memory (well, actually the memory you merely believe is yours) that is at fault. Sorry, but these things happen.
It just takes some of us longer than others to “get it” about being good husbands. You’re lucky -19 years isn’t bad. Took me the better part of 30. Enjoy it.
