So this young woman (23) call her Jane splits up with her boyfriend of 6 years to date another guy, call him Bob. He’s a little young she admits but does not bring him around to meet the family for a while. Hmmmm. In a few months it comes out that he is in his late 16’s. Wow, everyone says - We’re a little concerned about this. He is considered a minor and it could be a problem for you. Of course those kinds of concerns are seen as judgement and we don’t meet Bob for a while longer. By the time we find out a little more about Bob he is 17. Bob had a very rough childhood. In and out of foster homes. Estranged father. Mother is a recovering alcoholic. Bob never finished high school. Bob gives the impression of being semi-literate. Bob had some minor problems with the law. Jane is obviously not worried about it and says she’s in love and Bob loves her too. So much so that Jane gets pregnant despite the fact that she is on the pill and has been for many years and never had so much as a scare with her former boyfriend.
Well, what to do. How are you going to take care of a baby while working in a pizza shop? What about your plans to go to college…again. How is Bob going to support a family on a farm hand’s sallary. Oh, don’t worry, says Jane. We’re in love and we want this baby.
Comes the 9th month and Bob suddenly becomes reluctant. Starts sleeping with other girls. Tell Jane he’s not ready to be a father. Tells Jane he doesn’t love her. Tell Jane he does not want to be in the delivery room or hospital at time of birth. Tells Jane he feels trapped. Everybody has seen this comming but Jane. Everybody keeps very quiet and refrains from telling Jane, I told you so (except for one person who is just chomping at the bit - never mind who!). Jane has the baby alone with her mother and father for support. Not long after the baby is born, Bob and Jane have a real falling out and break up. Jane has to move back home because she needs halp with the baby and cannot afford a place of her own. Bob said he can’t stand to be left alone with his own child.
A few short months pass. Bob lays alot of girls and gets tired of catting around. Bob crawls back to Jane and appologizes. The appology was so good that Jane and Bob decide to get back together.
Almost a year went by in relative quiet. Bob, an enterprising young man asked me at family gatherings about what I thought of hemp and the potential of making the farming of this wonderous vegetation a profitable venture. I said I had no experience in such things but was fairly certain that it was illegal to cultivate it in our part of the country. He got quite irritated with this idea and began blaming the gov’t for being to controlling and went on about how there was nothing wrong with a little weed now and then. I kept my lips tightly sealed but just barely. As time passed he raised the issue a couple of more times with me but as I had nothing to contribute to his fascination with this subject he eventually let it drop. Not long into their first year of marriage, Jane started spending more and more time at home with her parents. Everyone knew something was up but Jane never shared information though it was easy to tell something was bothering her. It eventually came out that Bob was smoking wacky tobaky on a fairly regular basis and was in fact negotiating a deal to buy some seeds to hydroponically grow his own, for resale. Where was the money going to come from? Why, Jane of course… if only the damn diapers and baby food did not cost so much.
Things seem to calm down a bit again and Jane’s visits home seem to have contracted to a few hours vs a few days. One day, Jane announces the big news. She is pregnant again. Not only that she and Bob are going to get married. Congratulations are fairly guarded from her side of the family because they have not seen any positive things evolving from her relationship with Bob to date. Nevertheless, a quite ceremony in the park planned by bride and groom. Jane buys the best simple white dress she can afford and Bob puts on the cleanest pair of jeans he happens to find in the hamper and a long sleeved white shirt. A pack of smokes in the shirt poket served as a splash of colour instead of a boutonier. Family was not welcomed to the wedding. In fact they were explicitly told to stay away. Jane’s mom came anyway and took a few photos.
The wedding is followed by about six months of wedded bliss despite the fact that Bob is on his 6th job since they met and none of the jobs are an improvement over the last. In addition to this, it comes out that Bob, when he drives Jane’s car, which is registered to Jane’s dad, is driving without a driver’s license. He does not have a license because he cannot pass the driver’s test. Bob get’s stopped by the cops and is fined for driving without a license. He also gets a 5 year penalty before he can apply for a driver’s license again. It’s a problem for Bob and Jane because they live in a small town in the country. A car is quite necessary. To add insult to injury, Bob’s employer gets wind of his license status and asks Bob to produce his driver’s license. Bob drives the business cars as part of his job and has stated on his application that he is a licensed driver. Bob cannot produce it and quits his 6th job because, as he claims, he does not want to work for someone who does not trust him.
Things begin to look grim for the happy couple. Bob is smoking weed. Jane is growing bigger every month. Their little girl is showing signs of being affraid of her dad. Jane starts to spend more and more time at her parent’s house again. Jane jr. lets it slip that daddy knocked down her mommy. She does not want to go back home. Bob refuses to come to see his daughter and Jane while they are at their an Jane’s parent’s place. He never like to visit there much anyway. Usually he’d sit out on the porch instead of coming in. Even for suppers he’d take his plate outside. On top of this, Bob has entered into a very serious internet relationship with a single mother from Ohio. They love each other, claims Bob, and have long intimate talks on chat. When Jane finds out about it and confronts Bob. Bob laughs at her and shows her a picture of a well endowed woman which he clearly got from an adult site. Bob claims that’s his Ohio love. Jane doesn’t know what to believe.
Anyway, things get bad again and Bob throws Jane and Jane jr. out of the house. Says he wants nothing to do with the child about to be born either. Jane moves back home. All sorts of shitty things happen during the separation including threats on Jane’s life being uttered by Bob. At the family’s insistence Jane calls the police and files a report. Police arrest Bob, question him and release him telling him he will have to appear in court because it is a federal offense to utter threats. Jane has remourse about calling the police because Bob calls her up and reams her out for finking on him and getting him in all this trouble. Bob threatens to disappear where police and her lawyer will never find him. The family hopes he means it.
Jane finally files for divorce. A month goes by and Bob insists on seeing his oldest. Jane agrees to regular visits and for a while things work out but Jane jr is very reluctant to see her dad during each visit. Soon Jane jr. explains to her mommy that it’s all her fault that she and daddy don’t live together any more. Daddy says her mommy is a bitch. Jane asks Bob not to poison their child’s mind but continues with the semi regular visitation. In due time the new baby is born. Another girl. Bob musters enough interest to see the baby in the first couple of weeks of her life. But not much afterwards. Jane, now unable to work, asks Bob with some financial help for his kids. Bob refuses and says she’ll never see a dime. The burden remains on Jane’s parents who have become her 24/7 babysitters and providers. Jane returns to work part time 4 weeks after giving birth. Janes’s mom, despite her severe arthritis, becomes the nanny. Jane unable or unwilling to discipline the oldest child, lets her run wild. At four, the child is hitting her grandmother and is completely out of control. She resents the birth of her younger sister and the attention she receives. She developes a nasty habbit of getting within three inches of the baby’s face and begins to yell at her. Grandparents and mother seem unable/unwilling to stop or control her.
A few days ago Bob calls up Jane and demands that she drive him to a neighbouring town. Jane, for some unexplained reason agrees. Upon arrival to pick him up, Bob shoves Jane from the driver’s seat to the passenger seat and begins to yell obsenities at her as he drives her back to her paren’t place. Upon arrival there he ejects both Jane and the kids from the car. He then proceeds to remove all baby gear, umbrellas and sundry articles from the car by disbursing them generously around the driveway, lawn, neighbour’s lawn and road. Meanwhile still berrating Jane as she sits on the ground in a curled, almost catatonic state. Unmoving. Unreacting. The kids have front row seats to this display. Bob says he is going to take this car and sell it because he needs the money. Janes mother emerges ouside because she hears the yelling and is told she needs to shut up because she is a fucking bitch. Bob then gets in the car and takes off. Jane’s mom call Bob on his cell phone and demands the return of Jane’s car. He pretty much repeats his original opinion about her character. Jane’s mom then calls Bob’s mom and explains the situation. Bob’s mom seem to have better luck in reasoning with Bob and the car is returned and dumped on the edge of the driveway two hours later. No obvious damage to the vehicle which is on it’s last legs anyway.
Meanwhile, Jane does not file charges agains Bob for reasons still undivulged.
I’d like to hear reader opinions about Jane and Bob. Also speculations about what (if anything) is actually going on in Jane’s head to allow this to happen.