There wasn’t anyone on the board I would have chosen.
Until I read this.
Sweet Porcupine, I am yours.
[Danimal wipes saliva from his lips].
P.S. What does MPFC stand for?
Monty Python’s Flying Circus.
Hmm. Sticking to the rules set by the OP, I’d say…
Eve.
Calvin and hobbes is the BIGGEST TURN ON EVER! Heh, but seriously…
No seriously, it is.
My boink list:
wyldelf - c’mon she’s got the word wild (although misspelled) in her name!
Nymysys - dark, mysterious, naughty name 
porcupine - the first syllable of her name is 'pork" for crying out loud, doesn’t that make you horny? 
fun2d8 - I know what my idea of a fun date, how bout it?
More to be announced later. . .
And I’d like to toss in my 2 cents on the bow tie debate:
Who wears a bow tie in this century?
How about a guy in a tuxedo, ya half-wit, or haven’t you been to prom yet?
Awww, you mean the image of a fat, bald, yellow, mentally disabled person doesn’t turn you on? Geez! Then how about this?
/ My Sig /
See Porcupine? You chose wisely!
*Ladies and gentleman, you, too, can have dopers of the opposite sex (or the same sex, if you prefer), lusting after you, thanks to your special “DRY” sig. Put his prurient obsessed mind to work developing a sig that will have the hotties of the board wanting to boink you TODAY!
Available in Shakespearean and non Shakespearean versions. You also get DRY’s special 12 step program “How to whine incessantly until the compassionate females of the SDMB cyberhug you and you can cop a quick cyberfeel.” If you order NOW!*
[sub]Offer not valid for individuals lusting after the same females that DRY is. Some assembly required.[/sub]
If by “someone,” I mean “me.” Okay, I was so not going to post to this thread, expecially because I don’t like SwimmingRiddles just for her name (although I am seriously intruigued…). But that’s another story.
I just saw the name heraldgwena. I, of course,immediately think of Mercedes Lackey. It turns out I’m right… and she’s a newbie, so I get to make her feel special and included (hopefully). Okay, I’m done sharing for now…
Oh, forgot to ask: DRY, pretty please, would you craft me a sig? As you can see, I wouldn’t object at all to a Shakesperean version. 
And I don’t think I’ve stated that I lust after the same females whom you are (lusting after, that is), so I should be safe. Right? Thanks!
blink
…James Bond.
I did when I took my girlfriend to this musical last weekend. Cuffs, matching buttons, bowtie (the kind you tie, too, not with a convenient clip), tux shirt, midnight blue suit…
If I’m a moron, then it certainly didn’t stop her hands from roaming all over me for most of the night. G
What you anti-bow-tiers don’t understand is that Uke is wearing only the bow-tie!
That puts him at the top of my list!
How come none of the women mentioned unibrow?
Guess I’ll never figure them out.
I’d have to go with Welfy or FairyPrincessKitty on name alone…
broccoli!
Don’t tell anyone, DRY, but it was an easy choice. As soon as I saw your sig suggestion, I couldn’t resist; I knew I had to have it. I knew I couldn’t live without it. I knew I would be envied by everyone for my Custom DRY Sig[sup]TM[/sup].
James Bond is the man.
There’s are pros and cons for the Bow tie thing.
Pro: James Bond
Con: Pee Wee Herman
It all depends on your point of view. Personally, I like the bow tie, but then, I’m a dork. A cute dork… yeah, that’s the ticket…
For a light, mysterious, naughty woman, Froggy.
As far as sigs go, I think BurnMeUp had the one that cracks me up every time I see it. Don’t think I’ve ever felt like boinking someone just for a sig or a name, though. Although, Nen’s name certainly…intrigues me. Nothing like a guy that pays attention to <ahem> what’s in front of him.
broccoli,
I would have definitely mentioned FairyPrincessKitty, except I know how old (or how young rather) she is.
Sassy wrote:
Ooh! Ooh! I can cook too! (That is, if you count preparing Kraft Macaroni and Cheese as “cooking.”)
I could make little eyebrow-wiggling innuendoes about my username (i.e. what I’m “tracing”, and what I’m tracing it with), but the truth is, it’s just the name of a superhero character I created who leaves a tracer-bullet-like contrail behind him when he flies.
I’d like to boink a bow tie, even if it means wearing a Orion007. wait… got what I was gonna say mixed up… I’d like to boink Orion007, even if it means wearing a bow tie.
Aww…broccoli and dougy have my votes…I think it’s cute that it just says, “broccoli!” and what’s not to love with a dragon? :^)
Other names, just off the top of my head…
Silo
Eutychus
StephenG (I like the name Stephen)
corvus
many crows (is this a male? oh well…)
There are some others…I’ll have to look around the board and find more.