My boyfriend wanted me to go on the pill. I resisted at first. I was uncomfortable with the idea. Then, I warmed up to it and saw my doctor.
We went through a rough patch (fighting alot) after I had been on the pill for about two months. He told me he thought the horomones were making me unreasonable and that my personality changed. He thought the pills were not such a good idea after all. I liked not being in pain for five days out of the month, however, and told him I didn’t want to go off them.
Now I am in some financial straits. The 118.00 dollars every three months is something I might not be able to spare. Should I ask him to help pay for them? How do other couples handle this? Advice needed. Thanks for reading.
Being on the pill is something responsible women do who are having sex and don’t want to get pregnant. If your boyfriend were just a once-in-a-while lay, would you feel justified asking him to help pay for your birth control? How would you react to a guy who wanted his girlfriend to pay for his condoms? His birth control is his responsibility, and your birth control is your responsibility.
I realize the pill is expensive: mine are about $33 a month. However that’s a heck of a lot cheaper than raising a kid.
I’ve never heard of the pill costing about 60 bucks a month! What are you on?! Is there any way you can switch to a less expensive pill? Is there a health department nearby or a women’s clinic? Most places like that will give you the pill for free, or for a very low rate.
“Now I am in some financial straits. The 118.00 dollars every three months is something I might not be able to spare.”
What has changed that makes $118 every 3 months too expensive for you now, but it wasn’t too expensive when you went on the pill? Job change? Did he pay for the first couple of prescriptions, or what?
Please excuse this slight hijack, but I feel I must share some hard-won experience.
Definitely tell your doctor that your current birth control pill is affecting your
personality negatively. I spent a year on a pill that really did change my
personality and almost caused my boyfriend to dump me. If your boyfriend is
seeing a change in you, he is probably right. There are a lot of pills out there
and one of them should offer protection without affecting your personality.
Definitely listen to your boyfriend’s concerns, because if you are like me, you
are too close to the problem to understand how big a change you are going
through.
Back on topic, I think that if you find a pill that doesn’t affect your personality,
your boyfriend probably will be (and should be) happy to help pay for it. If you
don’t try to find another pill, I understand his reluctance to help pay for something
that is actually bad for you.
If you don’t like the side effects of the pill you’re on, talk to your doctor about switching to a different brand. Different pills have different hormones and different levels of hormones, and some people react better to one type than to another.
Find a Planned Parenthood or something in your area, see if they can hook you up with cheaper pills.
It is completely reasonable to ask someone with whom you’re in a long-term relationship to share birth control costs. In a one night-stand, you’re taking care of yourself and everybody should be providing their own birth control in case their partner drops the ball somehow by missing pills or using a condom that’s been subjected to too much heat or cold. But in a long-term relationship, you would presumably work out the form of birth control that’s best for you as a couple, even if it requires most of the work to be done by one partner.
Not necessarily. Say you’re in a long-term monogamous relationship, and you’ve both been tested for all known STDs and have decided you can go without condoms. Since condoms are the nly reversible form of contraception for men, and lots of other things that only women can use are more effective, is it fair that the woman should pay for everything? Or alternately, say your insurance covers birth control pills at a $5 monthly copay, but your S.O. has to pay for condoms out of pocket at (around here) $10 - 12 for a dozen, and you are really active and go through a dozen a week? He would be out $40/month, and you only $5/month. Would that be fair? Or what if you had gotten Norplant for a few hundred out of pocket, and you were, say, engaged but not ready to combine households, much less have kids yet. Would your S.O. be off the hook?
There are all sorts of circumstances, and reasonable people find ways to compromise. If I couldn’t find a way to compromise on something this basic, I’d be thinking very hard about whether I should be having sex with this person in the first place.
In the past, the way I’ve handled it was I covered pills at a copay which I could easily afford, and each person was responsible for keeping condoms at his/her own place. We never got nitpicky enough to count condoms or tally up and divide expenses for that, but then it was not a significant part of either of our budgets. If you’re finding it difficult to come up with the cash, definitely talk to PLanned Parenthood or your local clinic. If you’re in college, I believe some school health services can guide you to lower-cost contraception as well. Good luck!
My boyfriend and I split the costs. It makes sense. I also second the going to planned parenthood. When I was on the pill, it cost $21 a prescription (28 days), and now that I’m on the shot it costs $58 for 12 weeks worth. I talked to my regular gyno doc about this and she said that PP gets federal money (or money from somewhere) that makes their cost a lot less than a regular doc’s office. There are ways to lower the cost of your birth control, especially if you live in an urban area. Research your options.
I am on Seasonale, which is a 91 day cycle. It’s pretty a pretty heavy pill, so maybe it is having an effect on me. I don’t like it much. I bleed when I am on it sometimes, which is inconvenient and defeats the purpose…Not getting my period for three months!! I’m also beginning to wonder about the long term effects of skipping periods that way.
I hadn’t thought about going to a clinic or Planned Parenthood. Thanks!
I think what I will do is switch to a lower dose pill and ask him if he will pay half of any costs I happen to accrue.
I was on Ortho Tri Cyclen for a few months and it turned me into a psycho. I’m on Yasmin now and all is well, seems like it’s lower in hormones or something so you might could look into that one.
Sometimes it takes a while to find the pill that works best for you.
I am on the pill, and always footed my own bill until I realised that things were serious with my boyfriend and I. Now, I don’t have any problem asking him to help me pay for them. Of course, mine are only $9 a month ($32 without insurance).
The first form of birth control I ever used was Depo-Provera. I hated the side effects, but no periods (and therefore no cramps) was awesome, considering I have endometriosis, causing my cramps to be debilitating. It started a steady stream of weight gain, though, and I was evil at times, especially in the weeks just following my shots, from the loop it throws to your natural hormone balance.
I have since switched to a daily pill called Estro-Step FE, and I like this much better. Cleared up the last of my acne, and I have never noticed any weight shifts resulting from it, in fact I have lost 75 pounds since I started taking it.
Definitely talk to your health care provider about your BC options. There are many to choose from, and probably one that is just right for you.
Not to totally change the subject, but I would like to encourage every woman out there to be screened for problems such as endometriosis and ovarian cysts. Simple in-office tests can determine your risk factors for these diseases. A PAP test will not find them. I have both, and may not have found out until it was too late to save my fertility. Yes, it can get that bad. These diseases are much more common than has been thought, and do tend to run in families. One of the most effective forms of treatment for cysts? Birth control pills.
Ok, it’s condoms and a migraine. Migraine is 100% effective.
After kids, my body did not do well with the pill and I had problems with skull shattering migraines. I also haven’t had an OB check up since my daughter was one. ( She’s now four) so maybe their are new options for me, however, we have a $25 co-pay and we live no where near a family planning place to get cheaper RX.
Given that, I’ll stick to condoms, Rhythm and migraines. ( That sounds like a song title.)
Since I’ve given birth and bore the brunt of birth control all my adult life, it is time for the Mr. to get snipped. His is completely covered by insurance. If I get fixed, it is a minimum of $800. The choice is easy to make. He has had 4 years to get this job done.
Men are so touchy when it comes to their testicles.
Oh, good, I’m not the only one who gets migraines on at least some pills? I just had to go off them altogether because on Wednesday I had such a bad migraine I wanted to DIE, and since it seems that I get them during every period when I’m on the pill, I guess I’m off. Unfortunately, other options are more expensive…I’ll have to talk to a doc about it. Planned Parenthood is great, but I’m also considering getting myself fixed.
Before my husband and I were married, he paid half the cost. Now I pay for them out of our joint acccount. As a responsible and caring partner, your boyfriend should pitch in financially, especially since you are the one who assumes responsibilty for remembering to take and re-order them and who faces any potential health risks or side effects.
The Planned Parenthood clinic I go to is wonderful. The staff are all very friendly, professional, and efficient. They do a great job of providing low cost healthcare, including relatively cheap BCPs.
