Can we get a Volkswagen joke please?
Salesman #1: Hey… do you guys know a fella by the name of John Corrado?
Salesman #2: John Corrado!
Salesman #3: Best damn snowmobile salesman there ever was!
Salesman #1: He uses Old Spice aftershave as nasal spray!
Salesman #2: He fashions graven images from frozen seawater!
Salesman #3: He brushes his teeth with a meat cleaver and rock salt!
Salesman #1: This one time, Corrado burned a CD with nothing but the sounds of his bowel movements and the screams of his manservants. It went triple platinum within the month.
Salesman #2: He owns the PAX network.
Salesman #3: He thought “The Princess Diaries” was both “charming” and “sweet depiction of one girl’s emergence from youth into womanhood”.
Salesman #1: He made Styx BITE IT!
Salesman #2: They say he bleeds peppermint vodka.
Salesman #3: Did I ever tell ya about the time that Corrado and I took a hot air balloon trip over Los Angeles? Corrado brings an atomic bomb and drops it on the city! Then, he looks at me and says, “It would have happened sooner or later.”
Salesman #1: The movie “Deliverance” was based on Corrado’s experiences as a kindergarden teacher.
Salesman #2: His memoirs are tattooed on Ruth Buzzi!
Salesman #3: He’s producing Battlefield Earth 2!
Salesman #1: He recieves radio messages from Mars on his scrotum!
Salesman #2: His big toe is holding up Australia!
Salesman #3: He took The Blair Witch to his senior prom!
Salesman #1: He makes N’Sync keep Chris!
Salesman #2: He invented “The Cleveland Steamer”!
Salesman #3: Most people don’t know this, but John Corrado has children! This one time, he was banging a hooker and wouldn’t ya know it, his semen shoots straight through her tailbone, up through the ceiling and into the sky where it hit a plane! Nine months later, every woman on that plane had Corrado’s children! [takes a drink] When they tried to get child support… he paid it every month.
Salesman #1: To John Corrado!
Salesman #2 & #3: To John Corrado!
Salesman #1: His pubic hair was woven into the Sir Lankan flag!
Salesman #2: His favorite actor is Greg Kinnear!
Salesman #3: His middle name is Julian!
Salesman #1: He uses live elk for toilet paper!
Salesman #2: His cover version of Limp Bizkit’s “My Way” appeared on the soundtrack for “Titanic”. The pope himself thought the song crackled with energy but he didn’t like the sound of burning preschoolers in the background!
[Woman #1 comes over.]
Woman #1: Excuse me. Could you gentlemen please quiet down a bit? We’re trying to have a birthday party for my son.
Salesman #3: Yank off, sister! And get us some more complimentary caramel corn!
[She leaves.]
Salesman #1: Did I ever tell you boys about the time that John Corrado wanted a World Series ring? Wouldn’t ya know it, but Corrado kills the entire starting lineup of the 1998 New York Yankees! All except Clay Bellinger. They beat The Atlanta Braves in four games. Corrado was the MVP.
Salesman #2: He pisses farm fresh orange juice!
Salesman #3: He makes his grandchildren call him “The Anal Astrologist”.
Salesman #1: His favorite contestant on Survivor is Teresa.
Salesman #2: To John Corrado!
Salesman #1 & #3: To John Corrado!
He is rumor, whispered about on street corners and living in other people’s dreams. He is the stillpoint without which there could be no dance. He is the space between the notes. He was the ninth Beatle.
I don’t know who he is, but I wish he’d stop using my name.
John Corrado, let me be the first to welcome you to the SDMB!
I thought that Mod was imaginary, like the toothfairy or in-stock sale items at Best Buy.
Revtim, you are da best. I’ve been pissy all morning and that made me giggle.
I heart John Corrado.
Rust stains in the toilet were named in honor of him.
Who the fuck is John Corrado?
Who the fuck is John Corrado?
Who the fuck is John Cor-ad-do…?
Ear-lay in the mornin’…
Ear-lay? I don’t care if it’s morning or not, that’s just weird. How is that even possible?
Arr, whatcha be making o’ how I talk fer?
Right, no, it’s not “Where in the World is John Corrado Diego.”
“Who the Fuck is John Corrado” was a companion came to “Where the Fuck is Carmen Sandiego?” Perhaps you are just confused.
Companion GAME. Companion GAME.
I make so many typos, you’d think I’d’ve learned about that thrice-damned ‘preview’ button by now…
Game?
Kinda slow in the uptake their aren’t you Fox in the Snow? 
Amp, for some of us “Who the Fuck is John Corrado?” is no mere game but rather a lifelong struggle to discover the nature of this msyterious and alluring stranger.
And please include a link to the Cecil column you’re discussing.
From now on, all toilets in this country will be known as John Corrados.
Hmmmm perhaps I was hallucinating when I saw 2 of Alpha’s posts a year or so ago.
I’m glad. In case you didn’t know though, that was from an SNL sketch, I didn’t write it. I wish I did though. “He uses live elk for toilet paper!” Classic.
Hey, lay off the guy. It’s bad enough that his dad named him after a tacky late 80’s Golf-based two-door midlife crisis mobile.
When he was 16, no less.
Revtim, what the hell was that? It was funny, whatever it was. Hey… waidaminute. You didn’t just copy this and subsituted “Bill Brasky” with “John Corrado”, did you?