No, not Jesus, but our very own John Corrado.
The ide of the thread is to post a situation that would normally provoke a WWJD comment. and instead of Jesus’ action, (hopefully) our very own deity will give us his Imput.
Scenario: You are propositioned by a 19yr-old young lady who has “a hankerin’ for some spankerin’!”
Problem: You went to school with her father.
question: WWJCD?
[ben stein]anyone? anyone? beuller? beuller?[/ben stein]
First, I need to know what John would do about your question before I post mine.
I don’t want to divulge to much, but it has to do with a nun, a midget, a donkey and 5 gallons of lime jello … hypothetically, of course.
fair enough, seeing as Jesus never answered one personally, lets hope JC will answer one’s he has an answer to.
So if you have an answer, feel free to post it.
Wonder how the hell a nine-year-old managed to get someone pregnant.
Okay, assuming this is actually farther in the future when said scenario comes up (no pun intended), I have to say, it depends. Did I actually like her father back in school? If so, it’d be just way too weird and too dangerous to all relationships (not least of which would be mine with my current GF). On the other hand, if it were someone I didn’t like, one of those kids who teased me regularly… well, it’s payback time, baby. Get the lovin’ in, and then let the father know, in intimate detail, how great his daughter is. Preferably over a phone call at 3 in the morning.
Any other questions? The Gospel of John (Corrado) has all the answers you need…
Depends on if you’re from tennessee or not. And if your Babysitter had no morals. 
Scenario: You’re sitting at your fireside in the dark, eating warm gruel, when the ghost of Lee Atwater appears in the room. “These…these are the chains I forged in life!” he groans, rattling his heavy fetters at you. “Repent! REPENT!”
Problem: Should you give up being a Republican?
WWJCD?
Ike, there are some sins that even God will not forgive.
Oh, I got all excited for a minute, thinking I wasn’t the ONLY one who wears a “What Would Joan Crawford Do?” bracelet . . .
Ah, but a true Republican of glory recognizes the false apparitions, sent to him by the Devil (Ted Kennedy) to sway him away from the path of righteousness. Continue to have faith in compassionate conservatism, and throw a brick at the next hippie that passes by your house, in order to continue to tread the upward path.
Hypothetical situation: You’re walking down the side walk when you come accross a lost wallet. Inside the wallet there is $5000, a driver’s license, credit cards, a library card and a organ donor’s card.
Question: Would you buy a home entertainment system or a new computer?
Anyone else thinking this makes great new lyrics to the South Park song, “What Would Brian Boitano Do”?
(I know I butchered the spelling on that!)
If the organ donation card is filled out, return the wallet and cash.
If the organ donation card is not filled out, a new computer.
This is the entertaining part, right here!! I would love to hear more about this phone call!! Something like:
::Ring, ring. Fred picks up phone::
John: Hey Fred?
Fred: Yeah, uh, who is it?
John: It’s John!!
Fred: What? John who?
John: C’mon, it’s John, from JW High!
Fred: What? It’s fuckin 3 am, moron, go away before I call the cops!
John: Fred, it’s John Corrado, from High School, the kid you used to bounce off the walls for weight training!
Fred: What?
John: You remember, 'John the Human Basketball?
Fred: What the fuck do you want moron!?
John: Well, actually, I’m here with Muffy, and…
Fred: What?
John: Muffy, your daughter…
Fred: WHAAAAAAAAT!!!
John: Yeah, She’s great, (What a set of boobs!) and we were just talking about you, and…Stop that Muffin, let it rest a minute…
Fred: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! ::faints::
I came across this passage in The First Book of Adlai (a very obscure book of the Bible):
"And God came unto the people and said “Thou shalt not vote Republican, for it is an abomination before the Lord God. Nor shall ye consider ketchup a vegetable, for it is clearly a condiment. And know ye this, that all who claim that trees cause pollution, and that beans of jelly are good, and that one can cut taxes while raising spending upon the army to astronomical heights and still have a balanced budget, are false prophets and should be much cursed. And know ye this, I, the Lord God, will cause a curse to fall upon the brylcream’d head of any such prophet, such that his brain turns to tapioca and he shall soil his own garments, and then he shall be made to retire to the western lands. This is the word of the Lord.”
Proof positive that the Good Book is divine truth. It made a believer out of me.
What would John Corrado do?
He’d make a plan and follow through!
He’d ban Concrete and Jebus too!
He’d move a thread to GQ!
That’s what John Corrado’d do!
Yer pal,
Satan
*I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Six months, one week, two days, 18 hours, 2 minutes and 8 seconds.
7710 cigarettes not smoked, saving $963.76.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 5 days, 18 hours, 30 minutes.
I slept with a moderator!*
What would John Corrado do, if he were here right now?
He’d make a plan and he’d follow through, that’s what John Corrado’d do.
When John Corrado was in the pit flaming left and right, he banned the trolls and took some polls while singing through the night.
When John Corrado was faced with Gore lies, he didn’t run and hide, he turned and looked and truth bespoke, Gore’s the lord of flys.
So what would John Corrado do, if he were here today? I’m sure he’d ban a troll or two, that’s what John Corrado’d do.
Satan: I want Serlin out of here, he’s a horrible little troll
Anthracite: Concrete’s a troll, he’s infesting us too
Coldfire: I’ll flame their asses in the pit, cause that’s what John Corrado’d do
What would John Corrado do?
He’d ring up the Cecilians and tell them to unite for truth, that’s what John Corrado’d do.
When John Corrado moves a thread, he know’s what is best, get on his bad side, and he’ll reply “Don’t Test!”
When John Corrado started this board, he beat up Vos Savant, cause John Corrado doesn’t take shit from anybody.
So let’s hold together and unite to stop the trolls, and we’ll vote for Bush too, cause that’s what John Corrado’d do.
[Edited by John Corrado on 10-19-2000 at 10:11 AM]
Damn. That’s what I get for forgeting to preview.
I’ll tell you what else John Corrado would do. He’d go and correct my previous post, making sure that all references point to him.
Hey, Hey, Hey!!! Do I have to send tater after you again?
That’s it Leprechaun-Boy, no more white trash dip for you!
See what I had to deal with this weekend, beth?
